Stupidest Personal Trainer Quotes

Bigger Stronger Leaner Competitive Bodybuilding
41

[quote]Bastard Guy wrote:
danmaftei wrote:
I had a guy tell me a deadlift was like a squat with the weight in front of you.

ummm, yeah. they really aren’t so different.

Bastard[/quote]
I was going to say the same thing. I could’ve sworn I’d read Staley describe them somewhat that way in his “Science of Martial Arts Training” book.

[quote] Robert Monti wrote:
What are Kegels?[/quote]
Contractions of the Pubbococcygeyaleeles, uh, the PC muscles (what you clench when you want to stop peeing in midstream). Supposedly, if dudes do them, it gives them better control over ejaculating. And if chicks do them, if gives them good muscle control, down over “there”, ya know? :wink: He said it was to “strengthen the entire pelvic wall, the real homebase of the abs.” Okay Don, sure, whatever man. Good on you, I guess.

42

[quote]Aleksandr wrote:
So is the punchline that your friend thought he could make his “inner chest” grow? Or that the trainer wouldn’t explain how eating more would result in increased bodyweight?

then some really cool Bastard Guy wrote:
i was thinking the same thing in addition to wondering how one determines force exerted by the inner chest to determine “weakness”. “underdeveloped” perhaps … semantics.

then a big pussy named Professor X wrote:
If I had written this, they would have thought I was just jumping on them.[/quote]

yeah. that is because your’e a big a-hole. all of that cholesterol from those eggs makes you MEAN. you should really try some egg beaters and Pam spray to tone down that aggressive edge.

Bastard

43

Doing standing BB military presses

Gym Trainer-“hey man, you can’t do those here”.

Enough said!

44

[quote]David Barr wrote:
Robert Monti wrote:
What are Kegels?

I think it’s a futuristic exercise, because on Futurama, a woman was doing them on the “Kegelcizer”.

She must have been juicing because she was using the entire weight stack![/quote]

i’m really looking forward to kicking you in the nuts, i mean meeting you, in arizona in a few weeks.

Bastard

45

There is no inner chest.

While I was doing GHRs on a lat pull down station - “Wow good idea for quads!”

“Squats will stunt your growth.”

46

[quote]kilgore79 wrote:
Advice i’ve been given from personal trainers:

Back training:

“Chin-ups are more of a strength exercise. They do nothing to work your upper back, except maybe that part under your arms.”

“Pull-downs? They’re more of a shoulder exercise than anything else.”

Limit strength training:

“Training for a few spurts of useless reps won’t get you anything.”

All natural:

“Over the years, i’ve noticed that when people stop weight training, their muscles turn into fat. Their muscles are fake cos they use weights. Now i do mostly push-ups and pull-ups cos they build NATURAL muscle.”

Good Lord.[/quote]

Did the trainer arrive to the gym via the short bus?

47

An exercise where you tighten up the muscles in your pelvic area that you use when you’re trying to hold back a pee. (I first heard of these in a LaMaze class that I attended with my wife.)

48

[quote]graphicsMan wrote:
kilgore79 wrote:
Advice i’ve been given from personal trainers:

Back training:

“Chin-ups are more of a strength exercise. They do nothing to work your upper back, except maybe that part under your arms.”

“Pull-downs? They’re more of a shoulder exercise than anything else.”

Limit strength training:

“Training for a few spurts of useless reps won’t get you anything.”

All natural:

“Over the years, i’ve noticed that when people stop weight training, their muscles turn into fat. Their muscles are fake cos they use weights. Now i do mostly push-ups and pull-ups cos they build NATURAL muscle.”

Good Lord.

Did the trainer arrive to the gym via the short bus?[/quote]

Yeah seriously, I would have told the guy to kill himself, or at least never to have kids. People who are that stupid should really be checked out by a professional.

49

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Bastard Guy wrote:
Aleksandr wrote:
So is the punchline that your friend thought he could make his “inner chest” grow? Or that the trainer wouldn’t explain how eating more would result in increased bodyweight?

i was thinking the same thing in addition to wondering how one determines force exerted by the inner chest to determine “weakness”. “underdeveloped” perhaps … semantics.

Bastard

If I had written this, they would have thought I was just jumping on them.[/quote]

That’s because you are a bully! Keep your helpfulness and honesty to yourself (jerk!)

50

Jeez this shit makes me laugh!! Thankfully there are no trainers in my gym to argue with.

51

As this PT says in his friend’s TV Fitness show and on his website-

"These exercises are the core of a resistance training program:

Seated Chest Press
Pec Contractor
Icarian Seated Row Machine
Flex Shoulder Press Machine
Leg Extension Machine
Preacher Curl Machine
Cable Pushdowns"

Alright Kimo Kockleman, you da man! PT to the Hawai’i elite.

52

[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:
graphicsMan wrote:
kilgore79 wrote:
Advice i’ve been given from personal trainers:

Back training:

“Chin-ups are more of a strength exercise. They do nothing to work your upper back, except maybe that part under your arms.”

“Pull-downs? They’re more of a shoulder exercise than anything else.”

Limit strength training:

“Training for a few spurts of useless reps won’t get you anything.”

All natural:

“Over the years, i’ve noticed that when people stop weight training, their muscles turn into fat. Their muscles are fake cos they use weights. Now i do mostly push-ups and pull-ups cos they build NATURAL muscle.”

Good Lord.

Did the trainer arrive to the gym via the short bus?

Yeah seriously, I would have told the guy to kill himself, or at least never to have kids. People who are that stupid should really be checked out by a professional.
[/quote]

Actually, i’m constantly entertained by these morons. Especially after a long day or when the workout gets boring.

Here are more of my all time favourites:

“Normally when ppl do bicep curls, they don’t use a full range of motion. You gotta go all the way when curling. (proceeds to raise his upper arm till the dumbell is nearly behind his head after completing a curl.)”

Moron: Yeah, most ppl believe in doing the MAJOR exercises for size. I, however, believe in isolation. You’ll never be able to really build the muscle without isolation.

Me: So i assume you do a lot of curls and flyes.

Moron: Well, I think the bench press is best for chest. You gotta isolate it as much as possible and not cheat by using your triceps.

Me: And how do you do that?

Moron: You gotta make sure you squeeze it as hard as possible and REALLY feel your chest working. This prevents the triceps from interfering. (Makes a pressing movement while retracting his shoulders).

Me: But aren’t you now using more of your back muscles for assistance?

Moron: No! This is a chest exercise! You need to really FEEEL your chest working! If you’re using other muscles to cheat, you might as well not do the exercise!

53

Wopw, Im a PT myslef, and have been trying to enforce good lfiting practices on all the members of my gm. I work at a private culb, so we are asked to give a bit extra to the members. When I see a kid doing kickbacks, I show him some more effective movemtns if he din’t knwo them allready, dips, narrow bench, frnech press, board press, ect…

If someone is doing marathon flex routines, I help them to undertsand recovery and the importance of letting the body adapt to the changes you are demanding of it. I try and get women to lift heavier, and add “Male” exercises into their routines.

We all say stupid things sometimes, I remember telling someone that pushups were a good bodyweight biceps exercise once. I did correct myself within seconds of sputtering such nonsense, unlike the trainer who said bentover rows are great for chest and tris…lol…

Not all of us are as retarded as some of the examples make us seem. Thats all.

54

I go to the village glen which is in, of all places, a glen. Theres a driveway on steep grade leading down to the gym and when i was pulling in one of the trainers was having a kid sprint up the driveway into traffic… I think the maximal recommended grade for uphill sprints is 5%, this had to be over 20 at least. Not as bad as some but still.

55

Having him sprint up a driveway where there are cars is indeed stupid. But how does the steepness of the hill matter? I thought the recommended grade was anything that didn’t require a safety line.

[quote]andy bumphren wrote:
I go to the village glen which is in, of all places, a glen. Theres a driveway on steep grade leading down to the gym and when i was pulling in one of the trainers was having a kid sprint up the driveway into traffic… I think the maximal recommended grade for uphill sprints is 5%, this had to be over 20 at least. Not as bad as some but still.[/quote]

56

Oh so many quotes over the years which one to include!?!

My brother and his frind were training at a gym last week. The friend is hoping to qualify for national selection in track (sprint events). So his program was advanced strength moves. After doing a couple of sets of squats with 200kg, with all the PT’s watching on in awe, the friend racks the bar takes all the weights off and does a lunge with a combined good morning with just the bar that his track coach had recommended. At this point one of the PT’s runs over and tells him to stop doing what he was doing and rack the bar.

“Don’t you know you could injure your lower back!”
The friend is 6’1" around 200lb, runs national level times, PT is descibed as “little”.

Not all PT’s are idiots. Most of the goods ones work in private gyms. Most still suffer from learning disabilities, whereby they think they know everything because they have done a course. The good ones are constantly learning.

57

Shit I worked as a sales rep at a private gym… some moron PTs there for sure. I remember this one guy was spotting me on bench one day. After the set he said something about me having a lower back imabalance(OK!) and would bench alot more if I fixed that. What he reccomended was high weight straight legs/romanians. He said when i worked with “3 plates on each side, I’d be strong enough.” He then proceeded to ask if I knew his buddy another trainer there who had been injured for 2 months when he did 275 on sldl. I looked at him like are you fuckking joking??

About a week later we were talking about juice and he reccomended I hit 7-800 mgs of test/deca and 75 mg of dbol in about a year after I finished growing(I was 255 around 12% at this time at 20 years old - natural). I was like you’re kidding me. Of course he’s red as fuck from high blood pressure and about 25% bf, making comments about how he eats 6k calories a day but he “still looks ok… right?” I told him of course “you’re huge bro!” even though he was 40+ and benched maybe 25 lbs more than me.

58

[quote]Aleksandr wrote:
Professor X wrote:
Bastard Guy wrote:
Aleksandr wrote:
So is the punchline that your friend thought he could make his “inner chest” grow? Or that the trainer wouldn’t explain how eating more would result in increased bodyweight?

i was thinking the same thing in addition to wondering how one determines force exerted by the inner chest to determine “weakness”. “underdeveloped” perhaps … semantics.

Bastard

If I had written this, they would have thought I was just jumping on them.

That’s because you are a bully! Keep your helpfulness and honesty to yourself (jerk!)[/quote]

Yes, I have seen the light. I think I will celebrate this life changing moment with some pec deck flies for my INNER pecs as I stick to a low carb diet even though I’m not gaining much muscle mass.

59

BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAHAAHAHAH!!! i love this thread. cant wait until i move to a public facility. doubt anybody’ll say stoopid shit to me though due to fear of being eaten, maimed, or raped.

60

[quote]NNNNate wrote:
Having him sprint up a driveway where there are cars is indeed stupid. But how does the steepness of the hill matter? I thought the recommended grade was anything that didn’t require a safety line.

andy bumphren wrote:
I go to the village glen which is in, of all places, a glen. Theres a driveway on steep grade leading down to the gym and when i was pulling in one of the trainers was having a kid sprint up the driveway into traffic… I think the maximal recommended grade for uphill sprints is 5%, this had to be over 20 at least. Not as bad as some but still.

[/quote]

a grade that decreases speed by anything more than 10% (yes, i think that’s right) will deleteriously alter sprinting mechanics. this is bad for athletes who sprint.