I used to train with a buddy at 24 hour. He has always had a very weak inner chest, and this was prob a 18 months into lifting for him. He asked one of the trainers what he could do to grow his inner chest. Her reply? “Eat more carbs”. She could not explain or go into detail, but she stated it several times avoiding our questions as to why. It was pretty fucking funny.
“I have all my clients do functional training whether they want to or not.”
Bear in mind, this dude considered “functional training” to be any exercise that combines Swiss balls and resistance tubing.
Same dude, in another thrilling conversation: “Kegels are one of the best ab exercises you can do. I have all my female clients do them. I’m even up to 200 a day myself.”
I later went on to find out that he was sleeping with a half-dozen of his female clients. No wonder he recommended them.
I was eyeballing these two trainers that were…get this…training. They had some break time so decided to do as they preach. Go thought huh? Who knew they really did practice their stupid teachings??
So while I was doing deadlifts, which I’m the ONLY one to do at my gym, they were doing these delt raises. Except, they were using 12 lb weights. At the end of this so called rountine, they were doing little baby circles with the weights raised to the sides. I heard “yeah you can really feel that burn. You’ll be huuuge in no time doing these puppies.” This comes from the one cocky bastard that calls everybody “Hey Bra…” Of course they havent gained a pound in all the time I’ve been there.
And to think, we were both smirking at each other. Me at them and they at me.
I neglected a key part of the little story I related in that it began with the “trainer,” asking my wife how much she lifts and instantly going into this monologue about how one of her “good friends” who’s last name she cannot recall, lifts more.
[quote]flynniec6 wrote:
One station was barbell bicep curls. To make it harder and to hit my forearm a bit more, I did reverse bicep curls.
“Stop, you have to turn your hands the other way”
“Why?”
“Because this is supposed to be a bicep exercise”
“And what I was doing?”
“Triceps. Palms up - biceps, palms down - triceps.”
I argued, other trainer comes over to support first guy’s theory. So I left them with
“Do fucking 50 of them. Talk to me tomorrow”.
Heard nothing since.[/quote]
You know, I used to think this exact same thing
.
.
.
when I was FOURTEEN YEARS OLD!!
“push your plevis out and arch your lower back on squats”
or trains that learn alittle antaomy and try to impress there housewife clients like “this is elbow flexion” so stupid, impress with what you know in training, not with your mouth
[quote]Bauer97 wrote:
Hahaha, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten the “track marks” interrogation and investigation of my arms for signs of steroid use. Those intravenous steroids definitely pack on some mass… morons[/quote]
Hey Bauer, look on the bright side: if these morons actually knew what they were talking about, they’d be pulling down your shorts to check out your arse instead.
i just spent some time looking for a new gym after moving to a new city. i went to a 24 hour fitness to look around and one of the trainers was showing me the place.
him: so are you looking to tone or bulk up? you’ve obviously never worked out before.
(yeah asshole, i’m walking around at 185 now with 9% bf from sitting on my ass all day)
me: neither, i’m looking for a place with a power rack and that won’t get all pissy if i do deads and cleans in the gym.
him: yeah that’s fine, you can do cleans here.
he then walks me over to a smith machine.
me: i’m supposed to do cleans on this? do you have any power racks?
him: this is our only power rack.
needless to say 24 hour fitness is going to have to get by without my money.
It’s even funnier to think about the first quote in context of him banging his female trainees.
Either way, this guy’s the man.
[quote]Minotaur wrote:
“I have all my clients do functional training whether they want to or not.”
Bear in mind, this dude considered “functional training” to be any exercise that combines Swiss balls and resistance tubing.
Same dude, in another thrilling conversation: “Kegels are one of the best ab exercises you can do. I have all my female clients do them. I’m even up to 200 a day myself.”
I later went on to find out that he was sleeping with a half-dozen of his female clients. No wonder he recommended them. ;)[/quote]
I’ve just remembered one of my own. This happened at the first gym I ever went to, some 10 years ago. It was the local sports hall’s gym, and I had started going with some friends a couple days a week (hey, it was free). Needless to say none of us knew what we were doing. After using the pec-dec, I thought it would make sense to train whatever muscles were the antagonists to the pecs (was I smart or what?), so I went to ask the only guy that worked there:
ME: I’ve just been doing flyes on the machine and I was wondering what machine to use to do the opposite movement for the back.
HIM: There is no opposite movement.
ME: But there must be, how else can I move my arms back? [while I flapped my arms back and forth to show him what I meant]
HIM: Well, yes, there are some muscles in the back, but they’re very small.
ME: Oh, OK…
I didn’t last long there. It took me 2-3 years to get back into a gym again…and learn that back muscles are not really that small.
[quote]NNNNate wrote:
It’s even funnier to think about the first quote in context of him banging his female trainees.
Either way, this guy’s the man.
Minotaur wrote:
“I have all my clients do functional training whether they want to or not.”
Bear in mind, this dude considered “functional training” to be any exercise that combines Swiss balls and resistance tubing.
Same dude, in another thrilling conversation: “Kegels are one of the best ab exercises you can do. I have all my female clients do them. I’m even up to 200 a day myself.”
I later went on to find out that he was sleeping with a half-dozen of his female clients. No wonder he recommended them.
[quote]Monopoly19 wrote:
I used to train with a buddy at 24 hour. He has always had a very weak inner chest, and this was prob a 18 months into lifting for him. He asked one of the trainers what he could do to grow his inner chest. Her reply? “Eat more carbs”. She could not explain or go into detail, but she stated it several times avoiding our questions as to why. It was pretty fucking funny.
Monopoly[/quote]
So is the punchline that your friend thought he could make his “inner chest” grow? Or that the trainer wouldn’t explain how eating more would result in increased bodyweight?
[quote]Miserere wrote:
I’ve just remembered one of my own. This happened at the first gym I ever went to, some 10 years ago. It was the local sports hall’s gym, and I had started going with some friends a couple days a week (hey, it was free). Needless to say none of us knew what we were doing. After using the pec-dec, I thought it would make sense to train whatever muscles were the antagonists to the pecs (was I smart or what?), so I went to ask the only guy that worked there:
ME: I’ve just been doing flyes on the machine and I was wondering what machine to use to do the opposite movement for the back.
HIM: There is no opposite movement.
ME: But there must be, how else can I move my arms back? [while I flapped my arms back and forth to show him what I meant]
HIM: Well, yes, there are some muscles in the back, but they’re very small.
ME: Oh, OK…
I didn’t last long there. It took me 2-3 years to get back into a gym again…and learn that back muscles are not really that small.[/quote]
It seems likely that his back muscles probably were pretty small…
“Chin-ups are more of a strength exercise. They do nothing to work your upper back, except maybe that part under your arms.”
“Pull-downs? They’re more of a shoulder exercise than anything else.”
Limit strength training:
“Training for a few spurts of useless reps won’t get you anything.”
All natural:
“Over the years, i’ve noticed that when people stop weight training, their muscles turn into fat. Their muscles are fake cos they use weights. Now i do mostly push-ups and pull-ups cos they build NATURAL muscle.”
[quote]Aleksandr wrote:
So is the punchline that your friend thought he could make his “inner chest” grow? Or that the trainer wouldn’t explain how eating more would result in increased bodyweight?
[/quote]
i was thinking the same thing in addition to wondering how one determines force exerted by the inner chest to determine “weakness”. “underdeveloped” perhaps … semantics.
[quote]Bastard Guy wrote:
Aleksandr wrote:
So is the punchline that your friend thought he could make his “inner chest” grow? Or that the trainer wouldn’t explain how eating more would result in increased bodyweight?
i was thinking the same thing in addition to wondering how one determines force exerted by the inner chest to determine “weakness”. “underdeveloped” perhaps … semantics.
Bastard[/quote]
If I had written this, they would have thought I was just jumping on them.
flynniec6 - considering the time most people spend training nothing but their arms, you’d THINK they’d figure things out by now!!
TriGWU - sorry, I was hit by the laziness bug… typing personal trainer all the time gets tedious…
You know, sometimes it isn’t what these idiotic trainers SAY… its the damn STARES they give! Most of you should know what I’m talking about… that sideways, lingering, “what the hell does this fool think he’s doing,” glance they give you.
It usually happens when you’re doing some kind of crazy, stupid, pointless exercise like deadlifts or squats. And you’ll often get it when you’re lifting more than 100 pounds in ANYTHING.
You get it because OF COURSE there’s no way you could know more than a 2 day certificate course personal trainer…