T Nation

Stupidest Personal Trainer Quotes


#1

Personal Trainers get a bad rep. But, how stupid are they?

As a new personal trainer I was curious as to what some of the stupidest quotes you have ever heard from one are.


#2

1) Squat hurts your knees.

2) Deadlift hurts your back.

Geekboy


#3

Well, it wasn't a personal trainer, but when I was in undergrad I worked part-time at a GNC and one new employee was trying to sell Weight-Gainer 1850 to a diabetic. So how do you like your sugar comas?

Ryan


#4

"these are dumbells for bicep and tricep curls"

seriously,
Bastard


#5

A personal trainer grabbed my forearm asking me "where are your track marks?" Refering to where he thought I injected my steroids.

Very offensive, I almost knocked his ass out.


#6

Me: Watch out, that kid's really rounding his back.
(He was doing a trap-bar deadlift)
Idiot Trainer: So what do you want me to do about it?
Me: Tell him to stop rounding his back.
Idiot Trainer (while walking away): That's what the belt's for.


#7

"Dont forget your stretch set. Stretching is what makes your chest cut, not lifting." Meanwhile, he was putting my friend on the pec dec. I wanted to kick him in the throat. Needless to say, I told my friend the guys a moron and now works out with me.


#8

Hahaha, I can't tell you how many times I've gotten the "track marks" interrogation and investigation of my arms for signs of steroid use. Those intravenous steroids definitely pack on some mass... morons

Anyway, I'll throw in my submission for stupidest quote by a personal trainer, spoken by a fellow personal trainer to me:

Him: "Do you think your body can actually tell the difference between training with bands and bodyweight compared to dumbbells and barbells? It's all just weight, I never train with weights"

Me: "Yes, I can tell"

Him: "You're only bigger because you take supplements and stuff, or whatever you take"

I hate stupid people....


#9

The quotes I like best are the ones that make you wonder how the heck these people could actually train clients with straight faces. For example, one PT at a new gym I checked out yesterday said, "ok, lets do some free-weight squats." Then took her client to the hack squat machine...

At my university gym, I asked for a weight belt to do dips. The 2 personal trainers/gym staff people (1 male, 1 female) said they had to see my form first, just to make sure I wasn't doing them improperly. I showed them, doing around 20 or so bodyweight dips with good form.

The male PT (who by the way, looks like an out of shape office worker) says, "I'd still rather you not use the weight belt. They can be dangerous. If its too easy for you, you can use a pre-exhaust technique to tire out your chest and triceps before you do dips -- an exercise like bent over rows would be good for that."

I stare at him blankly, as does the female PT, who says to him "umm... thats for the back and biceps..."

The male PT just stands there for a few seconds, with a "....REALLY??!? oh shit..." look on his face, as if he'd spent the last 5 years of his life using bent over rows to build the manly pecs of his dreams!

hahahaha the female PT looked so ashamed...

Seriously, I've heard PTs say such absolutely retarded things, if I quoted them right now, I'd be called a liar!


#10

"High reps really etch in those striations"


#11

One of the stupidest things I saw was a really overweight guy weighing about 250 pounds told to do assited pull ups with about 240 pounds on the assist. I said to the trainer whats the point of risking him falling off there when he's only moving 10 pounds, might as well do lat pull down to start.

Another classic "palms forward bicep curls for strength, hammer curls for defintion, turning the hand as you curl gives both at the same time"


#12

About three years ago I was telling one of the trainers at my gym that building more muscle meant having a body that automatically burned more calories, even at rest.

Him: "Wellll, it's an interesting theory, but--"

Me: [cutting him off] "Okay. We can't have this conversation until you learn more." And I walked away. We haven't spoken to each other since.


#13

TShaw, enterthedojo - great stories!

The only thing I can add was someone who wasn't a trainer, he runs the club I'm in. So we're doing light weights because other people do sweet fuck-all in their own lives. One station was barbell bicep curls. To make it harder and to hit my forearm a bit more, I did reverse bicep curls.

"Stop, you have to turn your hands the other way"
"Why?"
"Because this is supposed to be a bicep exercise"
"And what I was doing?"
"Triceps. Palms up - biceps, palms down - triceps."

I argued, other trainer comes over to support first guy's theory. So I left them with
"Do fucking 50 of them. Talk to me tomorrow".

Heard nothing since.


#14

I have a million of them but one occured b/t my wife and a newbie trainer on a geared squat day.

So what are you guys up to?
Getting ready for a meet.
Oh, what kind of meet?
Powerlifting.
Really, where?
It's in Oklahoma. It's Women's Nationals.
Oh. I had this really good friend in college that was a great powerlifter, won all sorts of stuff. In fact, I am pretty sure she won Nationals.
Oh really? It's a pretty tight community so we probably know her. What federation?
I can't remember.
Open or Juniors?
I don't know.
What weight class?
She never told me.
Well, what was her name?
Amanda.
Amanda what?
I can't remember.

At this point I chime in and ask if her name was "Amanda Huginkiss." My wife didn't miss a beat and said, "Yeah, she was strong." This went completely over the trainers her head.

She just said, No, that doesn't sound right," and then told us she needed to go get warmed-up to train, "arms."

We still laugh about it. From that day forward we nick named her "Amanda Huginkiss."

She lasted about 2 months.


#15

"I charge $75.00 an hour" 24 hour fitness.

I don't know if it was a personal trainer or a whore.


#16

Yeah, we should be charging those bastards to train THEM!

I joined 24 hour fatness with my girlfriend (I had to have somewhere to work out until school starts, and she likes the pool there). Since she lives in Salt Lake, and I live in California, I thought it might be a good idea for her to be able to get personal training if she had questions (mostly technique questions).

So we went in for an evaluation. I asked him what kind of program he would put her on. He said free weights and lots of core work. Well, that sounded prett good to me. So, I asked, would that include squats, deadlifts, and bench press?

He goes on to tell me that squats aren't for everyone. He himself, he said, didn't do squats anymore. He had hurt himself doing squats (implying that if he hurt himself, anyone could). And he had squatted 1000 pounds in the past.

I almost shit myself. Seriously. I was thinking, yeah, if you put 1000 pounds on a bar and got the bar off the stays, I can imagine that you did hurt yourself! WTF?

Later, after he went through the spiel about how my gf needed to make her own goals, he then started supplying the standard "tight and toned" bullshit.

Even my girlfriend could see how full of shit this guy was, and she's never lifted before in her life!


#17

I'm a personal trainer, and it's so goddamned sad to hear these stories. Most of the trainers that work at the same clubs I do are somewhat competent, but a little fluffy for my tastes.

I suppose a benefit of this is the opportunity to stand out a little, but I often lose out appeal to the guy who has his clients strapped into aerobics bands, stability discs, and physio balls.


#18

Just an FYI...

In the common world most people consider the acronym PT to stand for Physical Therapist as that is their designated certification. There is a huge difference between a PT and a personal trainer.

Same thing when people refer to ATCs as trainers when they are far from "trainers".

Thats just my side rant to clarify that we aren't talking about Physical Therapists.

My favorite is the personal trainers at my school gym who take their five minute breaks to come in and do side bends. One guy finished his side bends and talked to his buddy doing curls on the smith machine. Yes... curls on the smith machine.


#19

I feel sorry for you and your community as well. The club I work out at has a combonation of both as well. Two guys there are very impressive to me, one of whom told me one of the best books he's bought and read is CT's Black Book of Training Secrets. He also just got certified in teaching Olympic Lifts at a local college, has built his own platform at home and is doing a 12 week Oly lift only program.


#20

Shit, there are people here who can't grasp that.