Me & wife were only a couple of years in, engaged at the time. She wanted to go out and watch a hockey game at a bar because it was like the Stanley Cup series or something for the Pens.
So we go to a local place where all of my old friends hung out. HOLY-SHIT, she got to hear Alll about my misadventures.
We walk out and get in the car snd she goes “They were exaggerating about a lot of that stuff, weren’t they?”.
I go "Nah. If anything, they were holding back. 
".
I won’t even talk to anyone I knew from earlier parts of my life. It actually embarrasses me when I do run into people and they remember me (the old me).
It’s a miracle I’m even alive lol
Do you have a vision of what you would do for your possible partner?
I couldn’t agree with this more.
Step 1: Find someone who isn’t like my data
Step 2: Don’t have kids
99% of the arguments between mum and dad are regarding my little bro and I, with resentment about my dad’s attitude/lack of ambition as undertones.
Steps 1 and 2 should get me at least 60% of the say there 
I’d be supportive and respectful.
That might mean moving to accommodate his job if it makes financial sense to do so, taking up more of the housework, accommodating his parents even if it’s inconvenient to me
A lot of your life appears to be centred around the prospect of financial success
Money doesn’t buy happiness. There is more to life than commercialisn and corporate lifestyles.
I care a lot about success. Money is a measurement of success. I’d be just as happy with h-factor or something similar.
My parents, especially my dad, are quite successful and have been able to give my little bro and I a very comfortable lifestyle. I am thankful, but that don’t get that much utility from that money because I didn’t earn it.
I don’t want a lavish lifestyle. I am too lazy. Owning stuff is too much effort.
I do like high fashion and jewelry, but more to enjoy as art. I like to design jewelry and would one day like to have my collection made.
Going off that “marker of success” thing, I want to be able to walk into any store and know that I CAN buy anything I want. 9/10 times I will not. No matter how much money I end up with, I’m probably still going to live like a college student on a budget (except maybe with regards to food).
My little bro’s children and parents, however, will get sizable gifts
What about sex and affection? Kids? Spontaneous goodies? Fun? Vacations? Double dates? Festivities?
Probably no sex.
I will gladly spend time and be emotionally affectionate. Believe it or not, I like to listen to other ppl.
hard no
I will definitely be buying things for him. I like giving gifts
vacations are iffy- but if I suspect neither of us will have much time
Yes to dates
Festivities are part of the “respect his family” thing
Physically too?
ok. Sounds like you have it figured our pretty well.
You are looking for a man of high-socioeconomic statue, which besides handsomeness, of all things, makes access to women and sex the easiest and thereby children, to forgo all this.
I truly don’t wish to be insulting but this is definitely peculiar. Some might say comedic.
I just have a weird thing about being touched, especially by males. Even my dad and little bro stopped hugging me after I got into middle school
My parents were emotionally close to us but always very physically distant, even with each other (no PDA, never hugged or kissed us…)
yep, so from what I understand, I will probably remain single…
Don’t need money if you don’t want a lavish lifestyle
Money isn’t the only indicator of success. Maybe you have a HEALTHY familial dynamic going on + a job that allows you to provide for said family
Maybe you’ve got good good friends, a field of work encompassing subject matter you are passionate about (regardless of whether you’re pulling in one quintillion dollars every year)
Okay
So… this might sound harsh but… don’t get married or date unless you can find someone who is asexual but not aromatic.
Physical and emotional intimacy are important, required variables for a healthy relationship to stay afloat… and most who want to get married will want kids.
Yes, considering the following about modern women.
Because of an unregulated sexual market, hypergamy is unrestrained. Therefore some or many women seek high status, alpha, or thrilling men—who are becoming fewer in number—and in some cases, when they cannot obtain such men or get them to commit, they will not “settle” and rather be alone indefinitely than be with an ordinary man.
For some of those that have huge social-media followings, there is plenty of money to be made, and the sheer amount of attention and validation shown from a gorillion likes, donations, comments, and DM’s take the place of companionship and attention from men IRL.
Some big-city careerist women have social lives that are jam packed with events, traveling, and various surrogate activities with their friends. Men do not fit into this.
Some, perhaps many, aim to pile on the accolades and career ascension before they find a man. For that time being, men aren’t in the equation. That time is also when they’re the most fertile and attractive. And because of the aforementioned decreasing pool of high status men, and college-educated men, some cannot find a man equal to or above them in status.
There is now an appreciable amount of single moms. Many men do not prefer this situation.
Some men have been no-fault divorced by their wives, and because of a gynocentric court system, have been fleeced of their money and assets, making them a poor prospect for other women.
I’ll go out on a limb and say many women, because of the unregulated market coupled with no male authority in some homes, start racking up a list of sexual partners and “relationships” starting in the early teenage years. By the time they are through with these thrilling and tumultuous years (from my real-life experience the ones who start this early have a penchant for “bad boys”, actually bad in some cases), their pair-bonding ability is shot!
Some women do not need men, period, including for child raising, because they have plenty of their own money, or if not, welfare or donations from the state and family.
Infantilization, arrested development, mental illness, I immaturity, and/or feminization of many men (this includes my former self).
There’s the long winded answer for why I’m certain there is a record amount of womanless men. If you don’t believe it, that’s fine. However, none of which I’ve written is outrageous—none of it.
Inb4: “Are you mad at women? What’s wrong with all this?” “Do you think every man is owed a woman?
Answers: 1) No, I’m not mad. 2) I didn’t say anything here is wrong or right. 3) I’m answering a question about womanless men in the appropriate dating thread to avoid a derail in another. 4) For another go around, I’ve never mentioned being owed!
So they now have the personal autonomy and career pulling power that men have enjoyed for like a thousand years.
Sounds like matches made in heaven for the population of deadbeat dads to be and women who need a sperm donor.
It’s like there are two segments of the population. The ones that believe in and desire longer term pair bonding and the ones that don’t.
If only we could get them all on the same page without all of the mismatches and mash ups. Wouldn’t that be nice!?!
Hitters & quitters on this side, long termers on that side. Ready, set, go!
@brickhead
What exactly do you mean by “not dating”? Not questioning you, genuinely curious.
I reconnected with a HS classmate. She’s been with her current boyfriend for four years. Their relationship has survived long distance and the pandemic. I’m pretty sure they’re going to get married
She’s had three boyfriends before this one and said that those failed relationships were valuable “learning” experiences
Men can take a bit of tren and do the same. Some do and as a result this super obnoxious trend of juiced up gym-shark teens lifting girls in yoga pants has become a prized watch by jealous kids… God I hate fitness culture on social media…
Then every once in a while one drops dead
Everyone
“He had such a big heart 
”
Me
“He certainly did! Twice the size of a normal person’s heart to be exact!”
@BrickHead (check out my joke above)
How do you go about regulating a sexual market? Aside from arranged, forced marriage you can’t “regulate” the market. You can set up social constructs that deter and stigmatise blatantly amoral activity, but going further would realistically lead to widespread international condemnation, boycotts, perhaps even war…
I’ve been meeting with quite a few youngins on my holiday here… I have yet to find a single young man who is having trouble finding a partner, ditto for back in Aus. Many of these men are average at best…
As a young man myself, I’m not seeing a whole lot of men pining for sex as they’re getting plenty. I didn’t see it in college, I didn’t see it in high school and I’m not seeing it now.
I have a bit of trouble because I’m autistic and socially awkward (shocker), the average man seems to be doing fine.
This is actually a very good point, I am in agreement with you on this. Sign a prenup or make it more difficult to get married and get divorced. Courts are generally favoured towards women, there is a lot of data to back this.
Many women don’t prefer this situation either. This is not a preferred outcome for most.
I wasn’t going to ask you this…
Or this
Or this
I’m not here to attack you and I’m not out to get you. No need to be so defensive.
Whether I agree with you or not is inconsequential. Neither you or I can realistically do anything about the way things are whether we like them or not. We have to make the best with what we’ve got…
As have literally all of the young men I know (including myself) with the exception of maybe one or two.
I don’t have a lot of sexual experience, but im not a virgin and I had my first hookup at the age of fifteen. I didn’t enjoy it at all (difficult with presumably low testosterone at the time). Didn’t hookup again until almost 19.