[quote]jjackkrash wrote:
Any thoughts on improving this sentence:
“Shitting on free writing advice from Varq due to pride was a really poor decision.”
I’m trying to convey the idea that shitting on free writing advice from Varq due to pride was a really poor decision, but I feel like I need to make this sentence easier on the reader. Maybe I could shift it from passive to active voice? Any thoughts? [/quote]
Or what about a simile?
“Shitting on writing advice from Varq due to pride is like shitting on contest prep advice from Mighty Stu.”
I think I need to step away from the project and let my subconscious mind work on it for a while ti stay fresh. In the morning, I’ll re-read what we worked on and continue editing.
[quote]mrclean85 wrote:
How very immature you both are. I could certainly be entertained for hours with this petty nonsense however I choose not to stoop below my level.[/quote]
You were given professional advice for free and basically told him to go fly a kite.
[quote]mrclean85 wrote:
We are all entitled to our own opinions.[/quote]
About what? Whether or not Varq is a professional? I can’t comment on the content of the whole book, but what each person does see is the preview of your book and it’s not pretty. All anyone is saying is what is out there now was obviously not proofread at the most basic level and needs some very careful revision and editing. No one is saying you can’t do it, but rather that it needs to be done.
[quote]mrclean85 wrote:
We are all entitled to our own opinions.[/quote]
Try not to take it too harshly man. I’ve been screamed at, motherfucked right to my face and had long hours of work literally smashed to pieces before my very eyes because my supervisor wanted me to iron out a couple of flaws.
Hang in there. Hammer out some of those flaws. You never know, you might create something amazing.
[quote]mrclean85 wrote:
We are all entitled to our own opinions.[/quote]
Not when it comes to grammar. And I disagree with the advice that you need a better editor; you need to improve your English. This is not an opinion but a fact.
If one were of a conspiratorial bent, one might say that the failure of the public schools is a deliberate stratagem on the part of the federal government to keep young people who want to criticize authority from being able to do it effectively in writing.
Imagine if Jefferson had been as nimble with the English language as this author:
“Have you ever just sat around and pondered some truths which is evident all by themselves and the first and in my opinion most pressing of the truths which I am going to shed some light on is that every single one of us (simple and hardworking Americans) are created equally and their endowed by there creator with inalienable rights like life and freedom and being able to go after things that make you happy and I have come to the realization that I can no longer sit idly by while are rights are lead to the slaughter by its Government…”
[quote]Varqanir wrote:
If one were of a conspiratorial bent, one might say that the failure of the public schools is a deliberate stratagem on the part of the federal government to keep young people who want to criticize authority from being able to do it effectively in writing.
Imagine if Jefferson had been as nimble with the English language as this author:
“Have you ever just sat around and pondered some truths which is evident all by themselves and the first and in my opinion most pressing of the truths which I am going to shed some light on is that every single one of us (simple and hardworking Americans) are created equally and their endowed by there creator with inalienable rights like life and freedom and being able to go after things that make you happy and I have come to the realization that I can no longer sit idly by while are rights are lead to the slaughter by its Government…”[/quote]
