T Nation

'New Book'

I was not sure where to post this but here seems as an appropriate place as any. I just published my first book. It is of the political category. Check it out on the link below. If you have an Amazon Prime account you can download for free otherwise it is going for $3.99.

[quote]mrclean85 wrote:
I was not sure where to post this but here seems as an appropriate place as any. I just published my first book. It is of the political category. Check it out on the link below. If you have an Amazon Prime account you can download for free otherwise it is going for $3.99.

Not to be a downer but you have a big typo in your description which also appears in the book. This immediately kills your credibility.

15 pages isn’t much of a book either. You also have now openly dissented. You are on their list.

Edits don’t seem to want to go through. I misread the line that I said had a typo. Rather, it seems that the line may just be constructed oddly.

[quote]theuofh wrote:
15 pages isn’t much of a book either. [/quote]

Agree with this. That is essay length and $3.99 seems like a lot for 15 pages.

[quote]BeefEater wrote:
Edits don’t seem to want to go through. I misread the line that I said had a typo. Rather, it seems that the line may just be constructed oddly.[/quote]

Is it the “to close to home” one or the one further down where it is all hacked up?

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]BeefEater wrote:
Edits don’t seem to want to go through. I misread the line that I said had a typo. Rather, it seems that the line may just be constructed oddly.[/quote]

Is it the “to close to home” one or the one further down where it is all hacked up?
[/quote]

“Have you ever just sat and pondered about the future of our world or how about your own foreseeable future?”

This was the line I was referring to. His very first line that people will come into contact with.

The sentence you are referring to is grammatically correct and there is no typo.

I am certainly willing to make edits if appropriate and would also be willing to lower my price as well.

[quote]mrclean85 wrote:
The sentence you are referring to is grammatically correct and there is no typo.[/quote]

Yes, I misread the first time. However, it still seems like it wasn’t revised heavily. This is the first line people are going to see and it is an awkward sentence. Did you have this edited?

[quote]BeefEater wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]BeefEater wrote:
Edits don’t seem to want to go through. I misread the line that I said had a typo. Rather, it seems that the line may just be constructed oddly.[/quote]

Is it the “to close to home” one or the one further down where it is all hacked up?
[/quote]

“Have you ever just sat and pondered about the future of our world or how about your own foreseeable future?”

This was the line I was referring to. His very first line that people will come into contact with. [/quote]

You won’t find a sentence like that in The Old Man and the Sea but I don’t see a typo or grammatical error.

Yes. The Kindle Team with Amazon edited it and found no problems. You are right however, the sentence is a bit awkward; how would you re-state it?

What do you think of lowering the price to $0.99 cents due to the length being what it is?

[quote]mrclean85 wrote:
I am certainly willing to make edits if appropriate and would also be willing to lower my price as well.[/quote]

I think that lowering the price is going to have to happen. If you look at what else is out there for the same and lower cost, it will be an uphill battle for you.

Just some examples. These are high rated and greater in length as well.

[quote]mrclean85 wrote:
Yes. The Kindle Team with Amazon edited it and found no problems. You are right however, the sentence is a bit awkward; how would you re-state it?[/quote]

Make it two sentences.

Noted.

[quote]mrclean85 wrote:
Yes. The Kindle Team with Amazon edited it and found no problems. You are right however, the sentence is a bit awkward; how would you re-state it?[/quote]

I’m not sure how thorough the Kindle Team is about editing.

For example the sentence: “Have you ever just sat and pondered about the future of our world or how about your own foreseeable future?” has a few words that aren’t doing a lot of work such as “just sat” and “foreseeable”. “Our world” is possibly vague depending on exactly what you mean. You want the line to be precise. Just for an example:

“Have you ever pondered the future of America or your own future?”

Or even

“Have you ever pondered America’s future or your own?”

I might just use one of your revisions verbatim.

[quote]BeefEater wrote:

[quote]mrclean85 wrote:
Yes. The Kindle Team with Amazon edited it and found no problems. You are right however, the sentence is a bit awkward; how would you re-state it?[/quote]

I’m not sure how thorough the Kindle Team is about editing.

For example the sentence: “Have you ever just sat and pondered about the future of our world or how about your own foreseeable future?” has a few words that aren’t doing a lot of work such as “just sat” and “foreseeable”. “Our world” is possibly vague depending on exactly what you mean. You want the line to be precise. Just for an example:

“Have you ever pondered the future of America or your own future?”

Or even

“Have you ever pondered America’s future or your own?”[/quote]

Eliminating wasted words is solid advice. I’ve read where Hemingway apologized once for writing a 20-page letter because he didn’t have time to edit it to two.

[quote]jjackkrash wrote:

[quote]BeefEater wrote:

[quote]mrclean85 wrote:
Yes. The Kindle Team with Amazon edited it and found no problems. You are right however, the sentence is a bit awkward; how would you re-state it?[/quote]

I’m not sure how thorough the Kindle Team is about editing.

For example the sentence: “Have you ever just sat and pondered about the future of our world or how about your own foreseeable future?” has a few words that aren’t doing a lot of work such as “just sat” and “foreseeable”. “Our world” is possibly vague depending on exactly what you mean. You want the line to be precise. Just for an example:

“Have you ever pondered the future of America or your own future?”

Or even

“Have you ever pondered America’s future or your own?”[/quote]

Eliminating wasted words is solid advice. I’ve read where Hemingway apologized once for writing a 20-page letter because he didn’t have time to edit it to two.
[/quote]

The more I revise, the better I get at paring things down. One of my faults is using “that” every three fucking words. When I revise, the first thing I do is a word search for “that”.