Girls Have Cooties!

Off Topic
41

[quote]WolBarret wrote:
To all the ladies that replied:

If you can’t have females as friends, how can you trust a guy as your friend?

Do you ever consider that he’s your friend because he’s trying to do you?

Quick Sample:

Ted says: Ha ha, you sure are funny Brenda. Ha ha ha!

Ted thinks: Jesus, I have to make my move on her quick. I can’t take anymore bad jokes[/quote]

This. I’m not a big believer in men and women as no strings attached friends. I hang with men, laugh, am friendly and have an awesome time. However, the bottom line motive for one person, whether they realise it or not, is the old in-and-out. Always bear that in mind.

I’m not saying opposite sexes can’t be friends. It’s just that there is always that element to it. I have to wonder if some women don’t prefer that type of friendship because it makes them feel good; a bit of ego stroking. I’d be the last one to say, I don’t like it.

However, it’s my female friends who tell me what I should hear, not what they think I want to hear. They are more likely to give me a kick up the ass, tell me to suck it up and move along. It’s a stronger, more equal relationship. That’s what makes them deeper and more enduring to me.

I have to wonder about people who decide they can’t be friends with an entire gender; particularly when it’s their own. You don’t have to curl your hair, dress pretty and have little dogs in your purse; just be open to female friends more like yourself. There seem to be a ton of us socially awkward, blunt, spastic women out there.

42

[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
This. I’m not a big believer in men and women as no strings attached friends. I hang with men, laugh, am friendly and have an awesome time. However, the bottom line motive for one person, whether they realise it or not, is the old in-and-out. Always bear that in mind.

I’m not saying opposite sexes can’t be friends. It’s just that there is always that element to it. I have to wonder if some women don’t prefer that type of friendship because it makes them feel good; a bit of ego stroking. I’d be the last one to say, I don’t like it.
[/quote]

I have to disagree with this. In fact I think it’s crucial to have close friends from the opposite sex. One of my best friends has plenty of close friends that are females and with him there always seems to be a strong sexual element to their relationships.
But I have close friends from the fairer sex also and I certianly can’t see any element of sexual attraction between us.

Or maybe I’m still just young and naive, but I’d really hate to think everything always comes down to sex in the end

43

[quote]WolBarret wrote:
To all the ladies that replied:

If you can’t have females as friends, how can you trust a guy as your friend?

Do you ever consider that he’s your friend because he’s trying to do you?

Quick Sample:

Ted says: Ha ha, you sure are funny Brenda. Ha ha ha!

Ted thinks: Jesus, I have to make my move on her quick. I can’t take anymore bad jokes[/quote]

Thank you Wol, for showing me the reality of the situation. I have been a poor deluded soul for far too long.

Personally, I think that women, in general, choose their friends, not out of compatibility, but out of the desire to social climb. In other words, they find a female that has something they want, or that will make her look better to those around her. It can be rather calculating at times. This has been my observation anyway.

Let me be clear here: The above statement is a generalization. Not ALL women are like this. None of my female friends are, which is one of the reasons we are friends.

I am sure that many of my male friends were interested in something else. Many probably still are, but at least I know their motivation. Honestly some of these guys I have been buddies with for years and years, so I assume it goes a little deeper than Wol’s scenario.

Hungry: Thanks, it is pretty nice so I don’t mind :wink:

44

That’s insightful, Ouro, and if it’s true it’s really depressing.

It means I’m scared of building a relationship with someone who has no need to flatter me.

It means I find men “easier” to approach because I’m using sex as a crutch and I don’t have the courage to risk being judged on my real merits.

Fuck.

45

[quote]AlisaV wrote:
That’s insightful, Ouro, and if it’s true it’s really depressing.

It means I’m scared of building a relationship with someone who has no need to flatter me.

It means I find men “easier” to approach because I’m using sex as a crutch and I don’t have the courage to risk being judged on my real merits.

Fuck.[/quote]

I think it’s true (for the most part) but it doesn’t need to be depressing. I think we just shouldn’t fool ourselves.

Having said that, I’m voicing this after a period of frustration surrounding training in my sport. It has become increasingly obvious that some of the rather flattering feedback I’ve been getting about my abilities are based in large part on the hope of sex. This isn’t an isolated incident and applies to a number of the women that compete. The underlying attitude seems to be “If I say something flattering, maybe she’ll fuck me.” This has led me to distrust a fair amount of positive feedback that I receive from men in this sport. In the case of a sport, I need to be judged on my real merits to improve and be more competitive. It doesn’t do me an ounce of good to have sunshine blown up my ass in the hopes of a blow job.

I think this applies in great part to being friends with men. It doesn’t have to have the negative spin that I’ve outlined above but I do believe that it is, and always will be an element of it.

46

[quote]AlisaV wrote:
It means I find men “easier” to approach because I’m using sex as a crutch and I don’t have the courage to risk being judged on my real merits.
[/quote]

But your real merits may simply be more appealing to men than women, independent of whether the men also want to bone you.

47

[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
AlisaV wrote:
That’s insightful, Ouro, and if it’s true it’s really depressing.

It means I’m scared of building a relationship with someone who has no need to flatter me.

It means I find men “easier” to approach because I’m using sex as a crutch and I don’t have the courage to risk being judged on my real merits.

Fuck.

I think it’s true (for the most part) but it doesn’t need to be depressing. I think we just shouldn’t fool ourselves.

Having said that, I’m voicing this after a period of frustration surrounding training in my sport. It has become increasingly obvious that some of the rather flattering feedback I’ve been getting about my abilities are based in large part on the hope of sex. This isn’t an isolated incident and applies to a number of the women that compete. The underlying attitude seems to be “If I say something flattering, maybe she’ll fuck me.” This has led me to distrust a fair amount of positive feedback that I receive from men in this sport. In the case of a sport, I need to be judged on my real merits to improve and be more competitive. It doesn’t do me an ounce of good to have sunshine blown up my ass in the hopes of a blow job.

I think this applies in great part to being friends with men. It doesn’t have to have the negative spin that I’ve outlined above but I do believe that it is, and always will be an element of it.[/quote]

See, this is main the reasons why i’ve held back from posting in the T-Vixen and Powerful Women threads. I never wanted anyone to think that any compliments that i’ve given, have strings attached or that I have ulterior motives, when I truly don’t.

I’ve sent PM’s before, complimenting a few women regarding their pics that they’ve posted, but then thought that could be sending the wrong message and come off as being creepy. So, now, I figure ‘fuck it’ I post and in time you’ll see that i’m being sincere. Or, not. Whatever.

MsM had created a thread on this very issue last year, about whether we can have platonic friendships with the other sex. It was a really good and interesting thread.

48

[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
Having said that, I’m voicing this after a period of frustration surrounding training in my sport. It has become increasingly obvious that some of the rather flattering feedback I’ve been getting about my abilities are based in large part on the hope of sex. This isn’t an isolated incident and applies to a number of the women that compete. The underlying attitude seems to be “If I say something flattering, maybe she’ll fuck me.” This has led me to distrust a fair amount of positive feedback that I receive from men in this sport. In the case of a sport, I need to be judged on my real merits to improve and be more competitive. It doesn’t do me an ounce of good to have sunshine blown up my ass in the hopes of a blow job.
[/quote]

The average powerlifter is a big strong guy with way too much test in him. They usually get excited when anything without a penis is around. I learned this a long time ago, and you often have to take what they say with a grain of salt.

Ouro, I don’t know what your experiences have been like, but I feel like a lot of the feedback I’ve gotten has been sincere, and the guys that want some action tend to make that pretty clear. Sometimes its one person saying both things, but not always.

Being a female powerlifter can be complicated. There aren’t many of us, and I think that the guys in the sport become interested sometimes simply because we are powerlifters and around.

The guy that runs my gym has tried to hook me up with just about every guy between the age of 22 and 26 at the gym. Every one of them would be perfect for me because we have the same interests, he reasoned. Its hard to bring boyfriends around because they’re never big enough, strong enough, or just plain good enough.

49

[quote]imhungry wrote:
ouroboro_s wrote:
AlisaV wrote:
That’s insightful, Ouro, and if it’s true it’s really depressing.

It means I’m scared of building a relationship with someone who has no need to flatter me.

It means I find men “easier” to approach because I’m using sex as a crutch and I don’t have the courage to risk being judged on my real merits.

Fuck.

I think it’s true (for the most part) but it doesn’t need to be depressing. I think we just shouldn’t fool ourselves.

Having said that, I’m voicing this after a period of frustration surrounding training in my sport. It has become increasingly obvious that some of the rather flattering feedback I’ve been getting about my abilities are based in large part on the hope of sex. This isn’t an isolated incident and applies to a number of the women that compete. The underlying attitude seems to be “If I say something flattering, maybe she’ll fuck me.” This has led me to distrust a fair amount of positive feedback that I receive from men in this sport. In the case of a sport, I need to be judged on my real merits to improve and be more competitive. It doesn’t do me an ounce of good to have sunshine blown up my ass in the hopes of a blow job.

I think this applies in great part to being friends with men. It doesn’t have to have the negative spin that I’ve outlined above but I do believe that it is, and always will be an element of it.

See, this is main the reasons why i’ve held back from posting in the T-Vixen and Powerful Women threads. I never wanted anyone to think that any compliments that i’ve given, have strings attached or that I have ulterior motives, when I truly don’t.

I’ve sent PM’s before, complimenting a few women regarding their pics that they’ve posted, but then thought that could be sending the wrong message and come off as being creepy. So, now, I figure ‘fuck it’ I post and in time you’ll see that i’m being sincere. Or, not. Whatever.

MsM had created a thread on this very issue last year, about whether we can have platonic friendships with the other sex. It was a really good and interesting thread.[/quote]

The above is a recent disappointment. It’s exacerbated in part by the fact that I really am a Pollyanna and believe what people say. It wasn’t e-sunshine but real life with some of the people I train with. Having vented to a number of other women I know that compete and I’ve trained with, it isn’t isolated. They treat feedback with the same grain of salt. I don’t think it’s malicious or intentional. I believe it comes as naturally as breathing to most people and they don’t realise they’re doing it.

However, for those of us that compete and are in a sport to excel, we don’t have time for that bullshit with regard to training. On a social level, it’s fine and can be a lot of fun. When I’m training, don’t tell me my squat looks good when it’s high. Tell me it’s high because sure as shit the judges will.

Sorry for the vent. It’s been a sore spot lately :slight_smile:

50

[quote]imhungry wrote:
See, this is main the reasons why i’ve held back from posting in the T-Vixen and Powerful Women threads. I never wanted anyone to think that any compliments that i’ve given, have strings attached or that I have ulterior motives, when I truly don’t.

I’ve sent PM’s before, complimenting a few women regarding their pics that they’ve posted, but then thought that could be sending the wrong message and come off as being creepy. So, now, I figure ‘fuck it’ I post and in time you’ll see that i’m being sincere. Or, not. Whatever.

MsM had created a thread on this very issue last year, about whether we can have platonic friendships with the other sex. It was a really good and interesting thread.[/quote]

If what you say is true, then I would expect to see your feedback in threads where men post their pictures outside of SAMA… Do you?

51

[quote]AlisaV wrote:
I’ve thought about it, but I have guy friends who have girlfriends, guy friends who tell me about their experiences with other girls, so it can’t be everyone. It also doesn’t have to do with the fact that I feel more at ease going up to a guy I’ve never met before and introducing myself, than doing the same with a girl.

Also, a psychological point – not sure it reflects well on me, but there it is – if a guy is just putting up with me because he’s trying to do me, then it’s not so hurtful, because he at least likes SOMETHING about me, although as it turns out it’s not my brilliant sense of humor. I’m worth something to him, if only anatomically. But if a girl is just putting up with me to be nice, then she doesn’t like ANYTHING about me.[/quote]

What she said. Totally true.

52

[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
Sorry for the vent. It’s been a sore spot lately :)[/quote]

No need to be sorry!

53

wait, so is it wrong that I consider the possibility of sex whenever I talk to a woman, even if the chance is slim to none in some situations? (as long as she’s not like completely un attractive, or my mom)

that’s why girls are cool to have as friends. they are hot, and even if they’re boring sometimes, they still got that female body going on.

wow I pretty just missed the whole point of this thread… lol

54

[quote]Therizza wrote:
wait, so is it wrong that I consider the possibility of sex whenever I talk to a woman, even if the chance is slim to none in some situations? (as long as she’s not like completely un attractive, or my mom)

that’s why girls are cool to have as friends. they are hot, and even if they’re boring sometimes, they still got that female body going on.

wow I pretty just missed the whole point of this thread… lol[/quote]

oh well, at least you’re honest.

55

[quote]debraD wrote:
imhungry wrote:
See, this is main the reasons why i’ve held back from posting in the T-Vixen and Powerful Women threads. I never wanted anyone to think that any compliments that i’ve given, have strings attached or that I have ulterior motives, when I truly don’t.

I’ve sent PM’s before, complimenting a few women regarding their pics that they’ve posted, but then thought that could be sending the wrong message and come off as being creepy. So, now, I figure ‘fuck it’ I post and in time you’ll see that i’m being sincere. Or, not. Whatever.

MsM had created a thread on this very issue last year, about whether we can have platonic friendships with the other sex. It was a really good and interesting thread.

If what you say is true, then I would expect to see your feedback in threads where men post their pictures outside of SAMA… Do you?

[/quote]

Deb, maybe it’s the coffee or lack therof, but i’m not sure what you mean by, “threads where men post their pictures outside of SAMA…”

56

[quote]buckeye girl wrote:
ouroboro_s wrote:
Having said that, I’m voicing this after a period of frustration surrounding training in my sport. It has become increasingly obvious that some of the rather flattering feedback I’ve been getting about my abilities are based in large part on the hope of sex. This isn’t an isolated incident and applies to a number of the women that compete. The underlying attitude seems to be “If I say something flattering, maybe she’ll fuck me.” This has led me to distrust a fair amount of positive feedback that I receive from men in this sport. In the case of a sport, I need to be judged on my real merits to improve and be more competitive. It doesn’t do me an ounce of good to have sunshine blown up my ass in the hopes of a blow job.

The average powerlifter is a big strong guy with way too much test in him. They usually get excited when anything without a penis is around. I learned this a long time ago, and you often have to take what they say with a grain of salt.

Ouro, I don’t know what your experiences have been like, but I feel like a lot of the feedback I’ve gotten has been sincere, and the guys that want some action tend to make that pretty clear. Sometimes its one person saying both things, but not always.

Being a female powerlifter can be complicated. There aren’t many of us, and I think that the guys in the sport become interested sometimes simply because we are powerlifters and around.

The guy that runs my gym has tried to hook me up with just about every guy between the age of 22 and 26 at the gym. Every one of them would be perfect for me because we have the same interests, he reasoned. Its hard to bring boyfriends around because they’re never big enough, strong enough, or just plain good enough.

[/quote]

Now I’m dating a power lifter and it’s all good. Fortunately, he knows where I want to go in competition and won’t spare my feelings and will give me honest feedback. Of course he’ll get laid regardless.

57

[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
It has become increasingly obvious that some of the rather flattering feedback I’ve been getting about my abilities are based in large part on the hope of sex. This isn’t an isolated incident and applies to a number of the women that compete.
[/quote]

BINGO BAYBEE!

You know, I was raised in a world of men. My mother died when I was a baby, I was raised by my father and older brother. I played sports with the boys as a kid, and had a reputation for giving a few of them a good beating when challenged. This was probably why I never had a boyfriend or dated in high school, they were afraid of me. I was the only woman in my band, and spent more hours on a tour bus that stunk of testosterone than I care to remember. I am the only woman in my department at work. I am the only woman in the weight room. My life experience has taught me this: man and women are more alike than we are different, except for your astute observation. That no matter how successful, accomplished, intelligent or powerful a woman is, men see her primarily as either fuckable or unfuckable. I have lot’s of male friends, but I don’t relate to them the way I do with my female friends. I can’t sit close to men or hug them a second too long before I sense the sexual tension. That’s why there is really no such thing as a truly platonic friendship to a man, even if he says so. Because every woman is really fuckable, given the right circumstances and plenty of beer and tequila. I don’t need to worry about that shit when I’m out with the girls.

I wouldn’t be insulted by the comment, though. Men are simple creatures, ruled by their reptilian brain. He meant no harm.

58

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
ouroboro_s wrote:
It has become increasingly obvious that some of the rather flattering feedback I’ve been getting about my abilities are based in large part on the hope of sex. This isn’t an isolated incident and applies to a number of the women that compete.

BINGO BAYBEE!

You know, I was raised in a world of men. My mother died when I was a baby, I was raised by my father and older brother. I played sports with the boys as a kid, and had a reputation for giving a few of them a good beating when challenged. This was probably why I never had a boyfriend or dated in high school, they were afraid of me. I was the only woman in my band, and spent more hours on a tour bus that stunk of testosterone than I care to remember. I am the only woman in my department at work. I am the only woman in the weight room. My life experience has taught me this: man and women are more alike than we are different, except for your astute observation. That no matter how successful, accomplished, intelligent or powerful a woman is, men see her primarily as either fuckable or unfuckable. I have lot’s of male friends, but I don’t relate to them the way I do with my female friends. I can’t sit close to men or hug them a second too long before I sense the sexual tension. That’s why there is really no such thing as a truly platonic friendship to a man, even if he says so. Because every woman is really fuckable, given the right circumstances and plenty of beer and tequila. I don’t need to worry about that shit when I’m out with the girls.

I wouldn’t be insulted by the comment, though. Men are simple creatures, ruled by their reptilian brain. He meant no harm.

[/quote]

Thank you. You put that much better than I could. The sexual tension isn’t a bad thing. It just is what it is and no amount of pretending will make it not be there.

I wasn’t insulted by the sexual interest. It isn’t like I’m not used to it. After all I have a vagina therefore guys think of fucking it :slight_smile: What wound me up is that I work my bag off training and competing. Show a bit of respect and give me honest feedback.

59

[quote]AlisaV wrote:
Women, on the other hand, apart from a few close friends, make me nervous. I feel like a lunk around them. [/quote]

Alisa,
Back to your original post, I hear where you’re coming from and I’m much the same (only the opposite). My few closest friends are guys, we grew up together and we’re really more like family. But most of my socializing has always been with women. Damn, I even ended up majoring in Home Economics in University. Okay, I was studying nutrition, but that’s the department it was in. About 75 women and 3 guys (all three of us were into bodybuilding at the time).

My honest advice is, don’t worry about it. As long as you have a couple really close friends (of either sex) socialize with who you want. You should be socializing for enjoyment, not social standing.

By the way, that’s just my opinion, I’m not trying to bang you or anything. :slight_smile:

60

[quote]Ruggerlife wrote:

By the way, that’s just my opinion, I’m not trying to bang you or anything. :slight_smile:
[/quote]

Are so.