We all know the typical cuss words , but there are some pretty funny ones that deserve some recognition
Here are two of my favourites:
- Sea turtle egg ( stronger version of bastard)
- 草. Literal translation = Grass (the f word)
No idea where he picked it up but one of my sons says “biscuit” which is easily my favourite insult ever:
“Stop being a big biscuit”
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In Australia, cunt is an everyday word that isn’t gender specific, and the meaning changes depending on tone and what modifier you attach to it. e.g. when talking to a friend you can call him or her a cunt and it basically just means mate. If you call a stranger a cunt then it can be an insult, but again it depends on tone and context.
Some modifiers:
Sick cunt/mad cunt - someone who is awesome, or just did something cool/courageous
Good cunt - the highest compliment one can receive
Shit cunt - insult
Dumb cunt - can be an insult when said to a stranger or can be said as a joke when a friend does something stupid
Ironically, when you see people aggressive/arguing they’re more likely to call each other mate than cunt, hence the joke “Australia - where you call strangers mates and your mates cunts.” It’s so ingrained at this point that I have to be very careful when overseas lest it slip out and someone takes it badly.
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I guess where this ends is with cunt cunt?
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On the west coast, if we don’t agree with what a person says, we say “oh, your ass hurts”.
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I don’t know if this counts but I’ve heard women say, “suck my dick.” I have yet to hear a man say, “eat my pussy.”
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I kinda like when my wife gets mad enough to insult because it’s hilarious. She’ll say goofy stuff like “you’re a fuckly goddamn shit!” and I’ll just start cracking up.
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Depending on what level I’m upset I’ll combine stuff. Curse words, and sometimes full on sentences.
•“Bitch ass bitch”
•“Horse fucker”
•“What In the neon painted fuck?”
•“Assface”
•“Hoe ass shit”
•“Fuck ass n***a” —> Yes, it’s the n word.
This one is just a giant mess of cursing:
•“Swear on everything that short-stacked-upside-down-can’t-tell-left-from-right-bag-of-10 pound-shit-stuffed-in-a-5-pound-bag-build-a-bitch has ZERO times to come within even an inch of my existence or I’m going to throw a fit in this hellscape of a job.” —> Got called into the office and basically had a cussing fit.
•”painfully Busted”
• “blood soaked” —> my co-worker says this A LOT, and I dare not ask what it actually means to her, but I find myself saying it sometimes.
• “penis cheese” —> this is my personal favorite. Yes it’s an insult. Yes I made it up.
• “You look like everything that’s wrong with the Center for Disease Control” —> I’ve said this once, and it was recent. No idea why I said it.
• “Pussy N***a” —> I think the majority of black people say this. Including myself”
• “You have ice cream cone legs”
• “Fuck face”
• “you’re a constellation bastard”
• “Wicked Bitch of the West”
• “Pasty, Puke-Consistency”
• “ cretin”
• “Pansy Bitch Peons”
• “ Toxic Titty-less Bitch”
• “Shit cunt”
• “Masterfuckerator”
• “You broken Industrial scale”
• “Dick Bastard”
• “Tic-Tac-Toe-looking-ass-Bitch”
• “ you smell like Bleach Mixed with Warm Mayo”
• “You fucking Basket Case”
• “ You Sour Patch Pussy”
• “Accordion Dick”
ETA:
• “Fucking Bitch Ass N***a” —> If pissed off beyond all reasoning I’ll call anyone that. And I do mean annyyyyone
I have PLENTY MORE. Most of this just comes off the top of my head.
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This one’s good!
???
Wasn’t done all the way yet. Just one giant angry curse slur.
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MOLUSC!!!
Window licker!!!
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I go in an opposite direction here: I’m a BIG fan of using the word “silly”. It’s so incredibly disarming in conversation. I refrain from ever calling someone/something stupid, idiotic, moronic, imbecilic, inane, etc etc, and just go with silly. Who can really refute if someone is silly? And when people DO get upset with it and demand to know why I call someone or something silly…well…that’s just plain silly.
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“shut your dicktrap”
- Sterling Archer
“Cuntnugget” (not me, I’ve heard this one before)
“You giant prolapsed anus/gaping asshole”
“You fucking fuck”
“Tittyfarts”
“I bet your ass is jealous due to the amount of shit you talk.”
“I’m out of here you insufferable dingleberry”.
These aren’t insults I use, as I don’t insult people using such vulgar terminology. When I’m uncivil it usually comes out in the form of me calling someone out on their misconduct, typically in relation to the mistreatment of others.
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I use the C word like it’s being taken away one day. I’m a less funny version of Malcolm Tucker.
Genuinely walked into the office one day and opened with “which one of you cunts is being a cunt” when I couldn’t find my chair. Turns out the head of finance.
He was okay in the end.
My insults / Curses are quiet bespoke. I tend to rant about stuff. And then I become a total arsehole. FYI - I’m hardly ever like this. And only once or twice over the internet. Typing given me time to calm down.
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I’m an Australian, I hardly say cunt. I don’t say fuck particularly often either in comparison to the average Australian.
I know… It’s unaustralian… but when I do swear it works to greater effect as those who know me are aware I don’t swear like a sailor during casual conversation.
If I swear like that (using words like cunt), it means I’m upset.
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Sorry going to have to leave this to dagill - I don’t curse!
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Doesn’t have to be a curse, just need to be an creative insult
I called my coworker, who I despise, an “eccentric leg press”.
Him, smugly: “Hello, colleague”.
Me: “Shut up, you eccentric leg press”
Him: ??
Me: “It’s the negative portion of a leg press. Performed on a leg press machine. It’s like full leg press, but without the press.”
Him: Still ??
Me: “Okay fine. You 30-10-30 lat pull down”
Him: walks away
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Penis cheese is a very real thing, it’s called smegma. Though only uncircumcised men have it
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