Trainer Etiqutte

I wasn’t sure where to post this so I thought here would be as good a place as any.

Tonight at the gym some guy was having a training session with one of the female trainers. I probably wouldn’t have noticed except for the fact that she had him super setting incline bench and cables which required her to pass behind me (I was doing deads)to retrieve various dumbbells.

It was obvious on several occasions that she couldn’t manage the dumbells on her own (she would carry one with two hands and kick the other across the floor). A few times, when I was between sets, I picked up the dumbbell she was kicking and returned it to the rack.

While she thanked me she stated that since this guy was “a paying customer” she had to move the weights back and forth. Personally if I were in her shoes I would have said “OK pussy boy go get 2 x weight dumbbells and bring them over here so I can kick your ass with them. When we are done you can bring them back and get some more.” Is this a SOP for a trainer? Am I wrong for helping her out?

This guy was a real punk. He thought he was all that and a bag of chips - only he didn’t have a bag. He was really mouthing off to her and had she not made the paying customer comment I would have said something. He was really being disrespectful.

Is it something to just let go since she was being paid by this guy? Is there a tactful way to address a situation like this?

The best thing you can do is talk with HER about it, individually. You should point out to her that by not acting in a way that demands respect, she’s paving the way for her clients to stomp all over her. I’d recommend you give her examples (as you’ve given here), along with advice as to how to handle these issues in the future. Taking it up with punk-boy, on the other hand, isn’t really appropriate; it’s up to her to rein in her client.

What has happened to chivalry and respect for women? Personally, if I was being trained by a woman, I would get my own
damn dumbells and not make a woman carry them across the gym for me.

It sounds like you did the right thing. Way to be a true T-man.

“OK pussy boy go get 2 x weight dumbbells and bring them over here so I can kick your ass with them. When we are done you can bring them back and get some more.” Is this a SOP for a trainer? Am I wrong for helping her out?

I don’t know if that is exactly how I would have put it-but it is a good start. I have all my clients put their weights away, however I will help them strip down a barbell or the leg press.
The only exception I usually make is if the client just performed a max effort with the db’s, then I do it to help them out. But that is part of the workout which incidentally, only people with no heart, don’t want to do. I have had people like that in the past, and what I have found is that type of behavior usually goes along with a bunch of other undesirable behaviors, like showing up late, late cancellations, not working hard, or generally just being a pussy.
whoever the poster was that said you should have talked to her privately, was right on the money. you should tell her that as a trainer she should expect respect, not ask or demand it. If the client will not give her that much, there is no solid foundation to start from. this guy you are talking to sounds like a real prick, a bully. all of us have been surrounded by these dickheads before in our lives. so it shouldn’t be so shocking that you ran into one tonight.
you did the right thing because for all you know, this girl might not have a lot of clients and maybe be desperate for the cash, you could have caused problems for her that she may not have been financially able to withstand.
I have been a trainer for 5 years solid now, and it was during those first 2 years that I put up with a lot of shit, just so I could pay for rent and food. now that I am established and making a good living, I no longer have to, nor do I even have the patience to Put up with that type of crap anymore.

I would ask her to tell the guy that carrying the dumbells is part of the workout.

ALRIGHT BOYS! I do agree that not making a scene while she is in the middle of training this d-bag was/is a good idea, since she is relying on “the paying customer”. HOWEVER, standing there in the gym waiting for a FUCKING WOMAN to bring you your dumbells (AND TALKING SHIT WHILE SHE DOES IT!!!). Granted this guy can’t fold your ass up like a lawnchair, I’d let him know one way or another just what a dispicable little twat he is. Here’s a little example, of how to do so and not get into much trouble. Wear headphones and turn them up nice and loud btw it has to be rap. Glare at him to the point where he gets to notice you really think he’s pretty. Next, preferably when there’s not too many people around get fairly close to him, act like your checking your physique out in the mirror but look right past him. At that moment say something really creative to let him know how you feel “bitch-ass motherfucking faggot how about we put a new definition to “plate mate” and I stuff a fucking 30 lb dumbell up your asshole and make you fetch my weights all day”. If he complains just say that he must have just been hearing your headphones…that damn Eminem;-) Smile and say you’ll try to keep it down next time.

It most likely won’t solve anything but you’ll probably enjoy it. I had a similar situation occur and the guy now avoids eye contact with me at all costs and has learned to shut the fuck up…at least when I’m around. Probably a little too indescrete for most but shit, at least look at the guy like the jerk off that he is!


That’s a pretty creative idea. I’m usually not in the gym at the time I had this encounter but, since I just accepted a new job, it looks like I will be there later when “pussy boy” will be around so I’ll keep your idea in mind.

If anyone talks to Santa an MP3 player would be nice.

Having been doing this (lifting) for almost 27 years now. I can reflect on days past when only those who loved training-actually trained. Gyms were a local collection of eclectic individuals who loved to sweat, strain and improve. There was a certain hierarchy-you always respected those who had achieved more than you and oyu always encouraged those who had aspirations of achieving as much as you. Grit and Guts were respected as was profiency in strength and development. Back in those days, there were virtually no “outsiders” in our gyms. But how times have changed and I am not sure when it changed, but essentially it happened when lifting weights became popular and all of a sudden gyms were crowded with those who desired to have the results of the lifting, but really did’nt enjoy the journey. I think the first time Joe Weider wrote an article on how John Travolta did bodybuilding in order to get in shape for Stayin Alive, it was the beginning of the end. When Perry Rader sold Ironman, it was the almost the end.

There are still those who have “iron in their blood” many reside on this site-find them, join forces with them, ally yourself with them, start a garage gym with a couple of buddies, or find that gym in town that has a sign with faded paint. Inside the gym, there will be minimal equipment-just the basics, that is really all that is needed-real gyms smell a certain way-you know it when you experience it. Inside these places are the strongest guys in your area-and often the most generous with their time and encouragement.

Life is too short to waste on mullets and Rambo’s-

Stay Strong