I am completely fine with him helping himself if need be.
Personally I find quickies a nice part of a varied sexual diet, but I suppose they would get old if they were constant. But in a marriage with ample sex I’m agreeing with you that he should take care of himself (or she herself if she’s got the higher drive), so my question is whether you would encourage this in a low-sex marriage, one where she is getting laid less than weekly, say.
If so, I would call him selfish. If getting her ready is an overwhelming chore, I would wonder whether she should be the one making changes.
Sure, it’s not ideal. But after 16 hours on a drilling rig in 100+ degree temps (not counting the Sun), wind that feels like a blowdryer, dust, drilling fluid, and stupid drilling hands doing stupid shit with 1000lb joints of pipe, pretty much anything is a chore. In August in Lea County NM, I miss Afghanistan.