T Nation

Other Women Issues


#1

My husband has been on trt for years and has recently told me that he can't stop thinking about sex with other women. He says that when he is not on the test be doesn't think about other women in a 'throw them down and bang them until they can't walk' way. The problem is that when he is not on test he becomes a zombie that lives on the recliner within 3-4 weeks. We have a very healthy sex life and are good in other aspects of our marriage. Any other men have on test have this thought pattern? Any advice on how to deal with this?


#2

You should probably bring another woman into the bedroom.


#3

Dress up, like wigs or silly outfits? Librarian glasses or a TSA worker uniform ?

Get really dark tan for a short time?

Or go someplace with him where the ladies are fat and ugly?


#4

I'm not really into other women.


#5

I have many costumes already lol. Teacher, school girl, nurse, lawyer, etc...And I am a red head, we don't tan very well. I have been outside all summer and I'm still almost an albino. As for fat and ugly, i don't know where to go where there are no attractive women. He gets hit on no matter where we go. Lol.


#6

Why would he not be on test? TRT is taken regularly.

Unless your husband is cycling supraphysiological doses as well, then that could explain the variations in sex drive.

As an aside, it's ok if you're not into other women, it could be a fmf.


#7

Don't break the cypher!


#8

We have tried the fmf. I didn't enjoy it. He stopped for a while after I gave birth. No sex for 6 weeks and his overactive libido were not a good combination. He started back when I got the go ahead from my doctor. It seems there is no in between with him. He is either a horn dog or a eunuch...


#9

So he's back on TRT and the issue is he can't stop thinking about banging other women. That's totally normal.

Are you hurt that he told you that? Because I could see how many spouses wouldn't want to hear that from their mate.

If so, then it's not a TRT issue but the fact that your husband was disrespectful or knowing you've agreed to a fmf in the past, just brought it up in a really clunky way. Or he's trying to open up your relationship.

But we don't know him so you'll have to ask him.

"Honey, when you told me you can't stop thinking about having sex with other women were you trying to start a larger conversation?"


#10

I'm sure he would want to open the relationship on his end. I figured that it was normal and while my feelings were and are hurt, I guess I don't understand why he would want to see other women. Forgive me for being presumptuous and ignorant of the male psyche, but is that just a guy thing, maybe something the influx of hormones exacerbates?


#11

I don't see a problem. This is what my wife lives with every day. :grin:

I have been on almost 10 times your husband's dose and despite wanting to lay everything that moved and even having gone down to the depths of contemplating what Rossie O Donnell would look like in a Japanese Sailor Girl outfit on one single occasion, I've never strayed nor desired an open relationship. Fantasizing about it does not equal desire.

Edit

I'm not on TRT though. Just an occasional testosterone user.


#12

All men crave sexual variety. TRT just makes his natural inner male desires harder to ignore


#13

Okay. So all very normal male behavior. Add on an impulse deterent that is hormones and I suppose I can be happy that he decided to talk to me about this instead of acting on it. New question, does anyone have any experience with open relationships? How they work, if they work?


#14

Possibly a silly question: would that make it harder on you or him? Would high doses occasionally be easier to cope with or a constant elevated dosage? I am trying to understand how all of this works so that I can better understand where he is coming from.


#15

I have to clarify that I am not hypogonadal so I would not know what his symptoms feel like without medication. I have a naturally high sex drive and the occasional abuse of high doses for physique reasons amplifies that.

With that being said,

The dose itself as medication should not cause his testosterone levels to be elevated beyond the normal range and care should be taken to make sure his levels remain steady. If they are't, then he is simply reverting back to his former horny state before he needed to be medicated.


#16

That makes sense. Thank you for replying.


#17

Maybe you should see a sex therapist before experimenting past your comfort zone. If you try an open relationship and he likes it but you don't, you're creating bigger issues. I'm completely against the idea but nothing surprises me about people anymore.


#18

I will try every other avenue before opening the relationship. To be honest, I am not sure I could handle the emotional baggage that comes with something like that. Being married takes work and adding another person seems like it would complicate things exponentially.


#19

Hey Countrygirl,

Totally unrelated to this thread. Did you get that double drop buck on camera? That is a hoss! I'm already fired up about deer season. lol


#20

This needs to be said. The op sounds like an awesome woman. Her husband needs to grow up and honor his marriage. I'm on TRT and my libido is very high. I look at every woman I see, but I only want to have sex with my wife. We've been married 26 years. TRT doesn't turn someone into an animal.