I had a thread on here before where I was tracking my training and things were going good on and off. I started at 210lbs and I am 5.4. Well I was, now I am 225lbs. I had gotten down to 189lbs and I was feeling so good and then I missed one day, then another and it became easier and easier to just not go to the gym. Then I went out for drinks with the girls and I was mooed at. It was a group of young guys and the one that did it was drunk and his friends apologized, but it seemed to shatter me. I started just being a hermit, eating and even drinking way too much and I gained pounds each week. The more I gained the more depressed and the only thing that made me feel good, the only thing I enjoyed was eating and drinking. Then I would be horrified at what I had done and would mentally bash myself and fall into a deeper depression. I realized that I was creating a viscious circle but I am struggling in it.
I am at my aunt’s house until Monday, celebrating the holidays and the looks on the faces of my family when they saw me was what you would expect. Some disapproval, and sadness and too cheery greetings. And everyone is watching what I eat. I want Monday to get here so fast.
I read how this isn’t a place really for motivation but a place to do it and learn and no one can motivate you but yourself. I just feel a bit hopeless. I read one of the tricks about trying to picture in your mind a time when you were angry and use that to get in a good and hard workout but I feel so defeated right now I can’t get to the anger stage I just seem stuck in despair.
Does anyone know a technique to get out of the despair and get to the anger and motivation stage? It is such a drain and it influences everything in my life day after day.
Has anyone overcome this that you know of or been through and been successful? Is there a best way such as hit it hard and every day or do I go 3 days a week and ease into things?
I read this site daily so I know what I should eat I just don’t do it.
When I was going to the gym I get paranoid if I don’t do a whole body workout so suggestions are welcome.
1800 cals a day with 3 meals and 2 snacks
I have no idea what program, I just go there and do what is open and try to avoid eye contact or getting in anyone’s way.
This outreach right now is not something I am proud of, but I don’t want to die from a heart attack or diabetes or even drinking myself into a coma so I am laying everything bare.
I want to save my life and I want to be all set to go with no excuses and everything prepared on Monday.