I meant the whole thing… as with anything in BB and drug use whether prescribed or self-medicated (self medicating involves quite a lot more than simply taking a prescription drug without a prescription of course)… you need to go with a trial and error approach when something crops up that your experience hasn’t covered.
You personally are in a relatively better position as a newbie to AAS in that you at least have some more knowledge than most newbies… so this should help in determining issues.
The fact of the matter is however - from where i am stood - you had moral/motivation and energy issues before you even touched any exo-hormones. Now you are still having these issues you confusingly are attributing them to the hormones… surely you can see that your problem - even if it is hormonally related in part - is nothing to do with the external application of AAS? (or secondarily so).
I understand you have thyroid issues as well… surely this could be a problem? Are you also on AD drugs? I remember from your first posts your life is full from work, shopping, public transport, casual enncounrers, training… not to mention the addition of Thyroid meds and possibly stimulants… is there a chance you are experiencing adrenal fatigue?
I realise that when one uses AAS, they throw Estrogens and Androgens out of whack - so to speak - and this can have a quite profound effect, often very negative. However i honestly do NOT think your use and self-medication with these drugs is fully to blame (and if partly so, then it is likely due to you fucking with things you simply don’t fully understand - sorry to be harsh).
I remember you recently (and further back) saying that you had a crap first cycle other than the Dbol, and found it wasn’t related to ‘fake’ gear, as your bloods showed a test level in the 1000’s.
The last cycle - just your third, was similar… you feel crap but the gear is likely real - unproven but likely.
The second - how did that go? I seem to remember you got results from it but you ‘expected more’?
I honestly really believe that your ‘issue’ is not fake gear or a low activity at the AR (or whatever) - i think it is unrelated… i think you feel crap, and want AAS to make you feel better - but they dont. I think you have mis-diagnosed yourself, and refuse to try alternative paths.
Why is it that you are so sure AAS are needed to ‘fix’ your problems, when use of AAS have not solved anything? I appreciate you have had minor improvements in all areas such as libido, drive, strength…etc. but not as much as you would expect - maybe you expect too much? Not everyone becomes a raging sex-addict, if it wasn’t there before, it won’t be afterwards either…
You don’t need to reply, i know you believe what you believe - i am just trying to provoke a thought response.