Ok, If I ever get to the point where I feel I don’t want to go on living, I have always thought the best way to go out would be to sneak into a Zoo and fight as many animals as I can (way cooler than hanging or gunshot). I would take some weapons, but nothing to unfair (no guns), maybe a baseball bat, sword, or nunchucks. I would use a Mike Tyson’s Punch-out (regular Nintendo) approach and start with a “Glass Joe” type of opponent such as a Priaire Dog or maybe a Penguin. After I win a few easy ones, I would progressively move up to tougher foes.
The animals I really want to fight are
Ape
Boa
Croc
Tiger/Lion
Elephant
While I would be more than willing to fight any animal in the zoo, I just don’t want to hop right into the tiger cage tho, as I would like to notch a few victories. So I need a list of potential fights, along with the weapon I am allowed to use in each fight. Thanks a million.
I was about to ignore this but since you implied that you might kill yourself, I will help as much as I can:
Go with the boa first and bring a sharp weapon that you can use when it tries to squeeze you.
After that go with the crocodile and have multiple implements that you can stick in its mouth. Then do what it takes to wound his underbelly.
The apes will just rip your balls off, literally. I’d rather face a tiger or lion. Use a bulldozer to knock over the wall between their cages and the elephant’s and somehow force them to battle it out.
You can use the bat for the Apes, some kind of blade for the big cats.
I’d say your best bet for a big cat would be a shorter blade, like a bowie knife for your main hand, and some kind of armor or protection for your other hand. You could (try) to block with your left and gut him with your right. But you’d probably still be lunch.
Let me know when this is going down and I’ll bring a camera.
[quote]superthrustjon wrote:
What if you win all your fights?[/quote]
If I win them all I figure I will do a little time in jail (as long as I don’t kill anything too endangered) and then write a book about it or something. Maybe go on Oprah.
[quote]NealRaymond2 wrote:
If you ever get to the point where you don’t want to go on living, two things:
Go on living anyway.
Leave the poor dumb animals alone.
Sure, hunting animals to eat them is cool. Forcing death-matches on animals in cages is not.[/quote]
Don’t Worry! (FYI, I know this will sting Nate) I have no desire to kill myself. I just think it would be a badass way to go, if you were going to off yourself anyway.
Actaully, negative on the SNAP N POPS in favor of this (I could at least use this as a back up weapon if it fails as a distractor, the Snap N Pops are fairly one dimensional)
[quote]WolBarret wrote:
Jump into the shark tank first if they have one. Make sure to cut your forearms before you get in the water.[/quote]
You know what WolBarret, the shark battle keeps me fucking up at night. Yeah, it’s easy to say “jump into the shark tank,” but why does that SOB get home court? Sure, the shark would fuck me up in water, but I guarantee that I would beat his ass on land. Guess the PreGame coin flip is gonna be huge on that one
[quote]dk44 wrote:
the Snap N Pops are fairly one dimensional)[/quote]
YOU are fairly one dimensional.
Hey remember that Fox show Man Vs. Beast? They had like a Navy SEAL run and obstable course vs. a chimp, a sumo wrestler in a tug-of-war vs. an orangutan, that crazy Japanese eating guy vs. a grizzly bear, and fifty midgets pulling a jumbo jet against an elephant.
Why the hell didn’t they make more shows like this?
[quote]NateOrade wrote:
dk44 wrote:
the Snap N Pops are fairly one dimensional)
YOU are fairly one dimensional.
Hey remember that Fox show Man Vs. Beast? They had like a Navy SEAL run and obstable course vs. a chimp, a sumo wrestler in a tug-of-war vs. an orangutan, that crazy Japanese eating guy vs. a grizzly bear, and fifty midgets pulling a jumbo jet against an elephant.
Why the hell didn’t they make more shows like this?[/quote]
The feminization of man at its finest…wait wrong thread.
[quote]dk44 wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
dk44 wrote:
the Snap N Pops are fairly one dimensional)
YOU are fairly one dimensional.
Hey remember that Fox show Man Vs. Beast? They had like a Navy SEAL run and obstable course vs. a chimp, a sumo wrestler in a tug-of-war vs. an orangutan, that crazy Japanese eating guy vs. a grizzly bear, and fifty midgets pulling a jumbo jet against an elephant.
Why the hell didn’t they make more shows like this?
The feminization of man at its finest…wait wrong thread.
[/quote]
That Navy SEAL BEAT the damn chimp…but no one even knows his name today. Sad.
[quote]NateOrade wrote:
dk44 wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
dk44 wrote:
the Snap N Pops are fairly one dimensional)
YOU are fairly one dimensional.
Hey remember that Fox show Man Vs. Beast? They had like a Navy SEAL run and obstable course vs. a chimp, a sumo wrestler in a tug-of-war vs. an orangutan, that crazy Japanese eating guy vs. a grizzly bear, and fifty midgets pulling a jumbo jet against an elephant.
Why the hell didn’t they make more shows like this?
The feminization of man at its finest…wait wrong thread.
That Navy SEAL BEAT the damn chimp…but no one even knows his name today. Sad.
