Zombies, What Would You Do?

For close combat, I think I am most impressed with the lawn mower strapped to the chest idea, from Peter Jacksons “Dead Alive” movie.

Some one posted a pic of a large street wide snow blower. That’s a great idea! When I was a kid in Montreal, Quebec (a long time ago, when they used to get a lot of snow) , every year there would be at least one kid who would get sucked into one while hiding in his snow fort.

AC-130 Spectre gunship (with a full crew of course). We would circle them at low altitude and just blast the hell out of them.
http://members.tripod.com/~allen8633/

DB

[quote]Leeuwer wrote:
Chainsaw, bunch of bitches.
What else ?[/quote]

Funny, I think this exact same thing every time I walk into my gym and evaluate myself next to the other males training there.

[quote]BarneyFife wrote:
Rah-Knee wrote:
mazilla wrote:
Rah-Knee wrote:
. The katana has virtually zero chance of decapitation.

ok, tell that to the samurai of ancient japan.

stop watching ninja movies, then trying to make extrapolations to real life from them. it usually required 2-3 blows from a sword specially made for decapitations to completely remove a head. and that was on a stationary and willing target.

i’m sorry to say that most of you guys are going to be zombie food. but don’t worry, i’ll save you if i can.

Did I read your post right, you said that it takes 2-3 blows from a sword to decapitate, on a Stationary and WILLING target? There are people out there willing to have there head cut off to test a swords effectiveness?
[/quote]

during ceremonial suicide as practiced by samurai, since they were brought up, it usually took several blows from the second to remove the head.

Re: those of you that are selecting flamethrowers and other ways of burning the zombies…

Have you not seen “Return of the Living Dead”?!!

You’ll just make things worse in the long run.

BTW, it contains the best “strip in a graveyard” scene.


I’m not entirely ashamed to say that I own, and have read cover to cover to cover to cover, The Zombie Survival Guide.

Do yourself a favor, pick up a copy and memorize it…your life just…may…depend on it…

I’d definitely want to stick with a pump action 12-gauge for mid-distance. And either a field hockey stick, cricket bat (You’ve got red on you), or a plain old crowbar for a melee backup.

Blades would be next-to useless. Cutting isn’t what we want. Blunt force trauma is where it’s at.

“Are they slow moving chief?”

“Yeah they’re dead. They’re all messed up.”

First to name the movie gets a seat in my van outta town.

Somewhat related note…anybody ever take the Zombie Survivor test from OKcupid.com? It seems they took it down recently, but I scored an 82 or something when it was up. Hurrah.

Machete, crowbar, any fire arm i could get my hands on. Seriously, why restrict yourself? any gun, is a good gun.

“We need rope, charles bronson allways had a fucking rope…” … we need rope.

So long as i have somewhere to hole up. A large brick, multi story building with the staircase removed.

I am also pissed that not one person has brought up the issue of dirt bikes as essential modes of transport.

Here’s one !

Great idea : why not create or OWN Zombie Survivor Test ?

Lots of knowledgeable people here on the topic.

We’ll make it on OKCupid or Quizilla, unless someone knows a better site.

I’ll submit a first question :

  1. It’s 11pm. You’re late night shopping the mall. Suddenly, there’s a massive zombie breakout.
    You’re near the weapons department, but only have enough time to grab one weapon before they get to you(they’re slow, but you were doing some window shopping and didn’t pay attention).
    Which weapon do you snatch ?

A. Cricket bat. How’s that for a slice of fried gold?
B. Double-barreled shotgun. You got some spare shells in your underpants.
C. Hatori Hanza Katana, which like, usually cuts off heads with one chop, but the mall could only get one which takes TWO chops, so there you have it, a disadvantage.
D. Supersoaker Flamethrower. And after the zombies them neighbourhood kids are next. Allways messing about.
C. Crazy Bear Armour. (http://en.wikipedia.org/.../Troy_Hurtubise)

[quote]Shammy wrote:
“Quick hit him in the head before he turns your neck into his spaghettios.”

Ok so zombies have infested the earth, you have 10 minutes to pick whatever weapon you want, then you can go kill zombies for a few hours, eat alot of food, and have hot nasty end of the world sex. But first things first, how you gonna kill the bastards?

  1. the standard slow walking “Braaaaaains” zombie

  2. the scary full sprinting Dawn of the Dead // 28 Days later zombie

For type one i think a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire would be the most fun, for type two a belt fed fully automatic chaingun, yeeehaw.[/quote]

Why would you need weapons? Just kick their heads clean off with your BRUCE LEE SKILLS!

[quote]deanosumo wrote:
Shammy wrote:
“Quick hit him in the head before he turns your neck into his spaghettios.”

Ok so zombies have infested the earth, you have 10 minutes to pick whatever weapon you want, then you can go kill zombies for a few hours, eat alot of food, and have hot nasty end of the world sex. But first things first, how you gonna kill the bastards?

  1. the standard slow walking “Braaaaaains” zombie

  2. the scary full sprinting Dawn of the Dead // 28 Days later zombie

For type one i think a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire would be the most fun, for type two a belt fed fully automatic chaingun, yeeehaw.

Why would you need weapons? Just kick their heads clean off with your BRUCE LEE SKILLS!
[/quote]

See at T-Nation here things always come back to bite you in the arse so next time youre gonna start a thread…just please dont.

[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:
LP’s, man.[/quote]

i love the zombie type movies. i know that shaun of the dead is supposed to be a funny one, but how is it? i was going to pick it up the other day.

[quote]aussie486 wrote:
Just get Chuck Norris to sort the fuckers out.[/quote]

AMEN!

What would I do if zombies came after me?

I think Iron Maiden said it best:

RUN for the hiiiiills, RUUUUN for your liiiiiifes…

[quote]Rah-Knee wrote:
mazilla wrote:
Rah-Knee wrote:
. The katana has virtually zero chance of decapitation.

ok, tell that to the samurai of ancient japan.

stop watching ninja movies, then trying to make extrapolations to real life from them. it usually required 2-3 blows from a sword specially made for decapitations to completely remove a head. and that was on a stationary and willing target.

[/quote]

first off, all samurai were made to practice be-heading’s using prisoners. a katana can(with a properly trained user) cut through a table. so i don’t think a beheading would be very difficult. please pick up a book on samurai before you throw comments around like that. i have several books on the samurai, and have read them all.

According to tradition the first Japanese sword blade was made by the swordsmith Amakuni Yasutsuna about the year 700. Amakuni, his son Amakura and a number of other smiths were employed by the emperor to make weapons for his warriors. One day the emperor and his warriors passed by Amakuni?s forge as they returned from battle, and instead of greeting Amakuni as he usually did, the emperor totally ignored Amakuni and all the swordsmiths. As the warriors straggled back Amakuni noticed that many of them were carrying broken swords; the weapons he had forged had snapped in the heat of battle. He closely examined the weapons and swore an oath to make a sword that would not break and so regain the emperors favour.
Amakuni and his son locked themselves in their forge and prayed to the Shinto gods for seven days and nights.

Then they set to work, refining the metal of the blade and applying all their knowledge to make the perfect sword. After a month of work they emerged with a sword that curved slightly and had only one edge. Pleased with their first effort they refined the process, and when the warriors returned from their battles the following year, none were broken.

The methods followed by the legendary Amakuni were improved over the next ten centuries but the basic technique of forging the blade remained the same. Small pieces of steel formed in a blast furnace were selected and stacked on an iron plate. This was heated in a furnace then welded into a solid block on an anvil by pounding the metal with heavy hammers. The block was then folded and beaten out again repeatedly until thousands of laminations were produced and much of the carbon in the original pieces of metal was removed. The final blade was made by wrapping the prepared block around a strip of high carbon steel which would produce the edge of the sword in the finished weapon. In the final forging the blade was covered with a paste made of clay, charcoal, powdered grinding stone and other material which is removed from the edge to leave a pattern typical of the smith?s tradition.

The sword is heated ?until it turns to the colour of the moon about to set out on its journey across the heavens on a June or July evening,? according to the words of one swordsmith, and cooled by being plunged edge down into a trough of water kept at a specified temperature. The unprotected edge of the blade cooled quickly while the clay covering allowed the rest of the blade to cool more slowly and so retain its flexibility.

The smith would then sign his name on the tang and pass the blade onto specialist craftsmen who would polish the blade and fit the hilt, guard (tsuba) and other items of sword furniture. The finished blade was sometimes given to a professional sword tester who used the living bodies of condemned criminals or their corpses taken from the execution grounds to test the cutting power of a new sword. Twenty different cuts were used, beginning with severing the hand by cutting through the bones of the wrist and progressing through the thicker limbs of the body. The most difficult cut was known as ryo-kuruma (pair of wheels) which involved slicing through the hips and the thickest part of the spine. The results of the test were usually recorded on the nakago or sword tang, and it is not uncommon to find inscriptions on old swords giving details of the tests such as ?two men cut? or ?eight arms severed.? Some swords were so well made that in the hands of an expert swordsman they were capable of slicing through tremendous resistance. Some seventeenth century blades bear the inscription ?mitsudo setsudan? (three bodies with one cut), and in the martial art of iai-jutsu (the art of drawing the sword) one of the techniques taught is capable of cutting a body in two by slicing through the torso from the right hip to the left shoulder.

The terrible cutting power of the Japanese sword does not simply depend on the quality of the blade; it must be wielded by someone who knows how to cut, a skill developed by cutting through bundles made from wet straw or other materials.

The long sword in Japan has seen three major incarnations, and for each type of sword exists a fighting style to match the blade’s shape. The early blades, called chokuto or ?straight swords,? tended to get longer as metallurgy techniques improved. Though not much is known about how these weapons were wielded, the extra length - without any significant increase in weight - certainly gave the fighter more reach. The handle size of these blades suggests that they were held in one hand. The two-edged blade suggests a thrusting and hacking style of fighting.

The first major change in the shape of the sword came during Amakuni?s time, a style perhaps created by Amakuni himself. Warriors found that, compared to a straight blade, a curved sword can be drawn from the saya more quickly and can provide a more effective cutting angle. Consequently, swordsmiths developed forging techniques to make a curved blade at least as strong as the earlier straight ones. These swords, called tachi, were extremely long, some nearly four feet, and were generally used by soldiers on horseback. The long, curved blade was ideal for a sweeping draw and slash against opponents on the ground or mounted upon other horses.

Later in Japanese history, most soldiers found themselves doing battle on foot, or engaging in individual combat against one another. For such men, the tachi were too long to be drawn or wielded comfortably, so a shorter sword was developed. This sword was the katana, and the katana is the sword that most practicianers of Ia?-Do systems use today. Katana are generally between two and four feet in length and, though curved, have a less pronounced arc than the tachi. They can be efficiently drawn from the saya into position for a horizontal, diagonal, or vertical cut, and the curve of the blade lends itself well to the efficient slashing cut characteristic of Ia?-Do.

[quote]Rah-Knee wrote:
BarneyFife wrote:
Rah-Knee wrote:
mazilla wrote:
Rah-Knee wrote:
. The katana has virtually zero chance of decapitation.

ok, tell that to the samurai of ancient japan.

stop watching ninja movies, then trying to make extrapolations to real life from them. it usually required 2-3 blows from a sword specially made for decapitations to completely remove a head. and that was on a stationary and willing target.

i’m sorry to say that most of you guys are going to be zombie food. but don’t worry, i’ll save you if i can.

Did I read your post right, you said that it takes 2-3 blows from a sword to decapitate, on a Stationary and WILLING target? There are people out there willing to have there head cut off to test a swords effectiveness?

during ceremonial suicide as practiced by samurai, since they were brought up, it usually took several blows from the second to remove the head.

[/quote]

When a samurai was dishonored, he would commit Seppuku in order to regain his honor. Today, dishonoring oneself is a sport displayed on reality television.

Sometimes this is referred to as Hara Kiri, though Tadashi tells us that Seppuku is the correct term. Hara Kiri and Seppuku are the same characters in Japanese, but they have two different ways to pronounce them.

The act of seppuku required the samurai to essentially dissect himself with a katana while another Samurai chopped his head off to finish the deed. The sword the other samurai used was specially made for this purpose as just any sword will not do. To test the sword (see, “test first” is not a new thing) they piled dead decapitated bodies one on top of the other, in what must’ve been a pleasant ritual, and then attempted to cut through as many as they could with one strike of the katana. Afterwards, the katana was carefully engraved to document the number of bodies it cut through. Thus a “three body” sword meant it cut through three bodies.

Tadashi showed us a picture of a sword with an etching of “Three Body Sword” on one side. On the other side it said “After re-engineering, Four Body Sword”. I want to know where they got all these bodies for testing. I’d hate to be the QA department for a seppuku katana.

The Japanese sword is a superb draw-cutting weapon. This is the method that has been taught for the past several hundred years, and the evidence seems to indicate that it was always used in a similar fashion. In a draw cut, the blade is pulled as it cuts, and therefore not only shears, but slices as well. In soft tissue such as flesh or bone, it delivers a truly fearsome cut, being easily capable of cutting a torso in half. The draw back is that it doesn’t cut armor, even mail, very well. A draw cut is very ineffective against hard armor.

Changing the cut, and delivering a shearing blow does not work either. The blade of the katana is thick, with a sharp cutting bevel. The edge is strong, but the wedge it presents has to move aside more material. When cutting into metal, this is very difficult to do.

can i stop now? or do you want to open your mouth some more? stick to your movies, i’ll stick to the facts.

I revise my picks !

Vehicle: Hummer or big-ass truck.
Short-range wep: shotgun or a powerful hangun
Mid-long range: Assault rifle.

I am thinking about things I could actually find. Kevlar anti-shank suits would be nice to have.

I’ve got a katana and short sword on a display rack in my living room. They would have to suffice until I could find something better.

[quote]mazilla wrote:

[/quote]

AWESOME post.

[quote]CU AeroStallion wrote:
aussie486 wrote:
Just get Chuck Norris to sort the fuckers out.

you bring up a good point, with chuck norris, vin diesel and Mr. T running around, we’d have no option other than to sit back and see who can kill the most out of those 3
[/quote]

You won’t mind if I start with the hot nasty end of the world sex already, do you?