T Nation

Zombies, What Would You Do?

Chainmail/Kevlar - Prevents the zombies from biting/infecting you with their zombiness.

HomeMade Chainsaw - Take a regular chainsaw and replace the motor with a small motorcycle engine instead.

Supersoaker Flamethrower - Take a supersoaker, fill it with gasoline (or something more flamable) and put a lighter at the nozzle.

Maybe one of these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troy_Hurtubise

I would rip my shower head out of the wall and ram it into the zombies brains and then watch the shower of blood rain down.

(some other up to date nerd has to get this)

[quote]Shammy wrote:
“Quick hit him in the head before he turns your neck into his spaghettios.”

Ok so zombies have infested the earth, you have 10 minutes to pick whatever weapon you want, then you can go kill zombies for a few hours, eat alot of food, and have hot nasty end of the world sex. But first things first, how you gonna kill the bastards?

  1. the standard slow walking “Braaaaaains” zombie

  2. the scary full sprinting Dawn of the Dead // 28 Days later zombie

For type one i think a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire would be the most fun, for type two a belt fed fully automatic chaingun, yeeehaw.[/quote]

For the record, the things in 28 Days later were not actual zombies, they were people with a mind-altering infection that caused them to kill everyone around them except, for some reason, other infected people (A Grand Canyon-sized plot hole that was never explained).

The differences?

1)They could be taken out by body shots and injured/incapacitated like any other human.
2)They needed to eat or starve to death; not a factor for classic, Romeroesque zombies who get no nourishment from eating flesh, but seem to just keep on going with no energy source.
3)They needed to breathe.

Now, to answer the proposed question, I’d much rather be facing zombie type #1 (although how they could take over the world is beyond me). With them, nearly any mid-caliber firearm is acceptable. My trusty 9mm and .38 would do nicely, as I could pretty much just walk up to them and shoot them at my leisure. Ammo low? As suggested already, I would have a good quality edged weapon as well as a blunt force trauma weapon (the maces varqanir posted in the 100 people versus a bear thread would be ideal). The key, though, would be to keep moving until a defensible position is found to use the close range stuff.

Type #2, well, I can’t think of anything better than what the OP suggested. Since we’re in fantasy mode, Jesse Ventura’s gun in Predator would be awesome (realistically, even if one could tote around a 100 lb. gun and a 250 lb. ammo backpack, no human on earth could fire the thing and remain standing unless it was mounted on a tripod).

Being an SCA ( www.sca.org ) member, I’m perpetually prepared for this sort of thing. Put on a full suit of armor, pick out my favorite wooden sword (not steel - the less blood the better), and go to town.

[quote]Anakyn wrote:
cricket bat and a few dozen copies of the ‘Batman’ soundtrack LP[/quote]

You want kill zombies while listening to “Batdance”?

Oh, wait, that would be kind of hard unless you were carrying a turntable on your back (you did say LP’s).

I’m assuming, then, that you want to use them as flying guillotines? Circular saw blades would probably serve you better, in this case.

I definately second the Hummer/ high powered machine gun idea. I would just get an H1, load it up with fuel, ammo, and maybe some explosives like grenades or panzers.

Play the Michael Jackson song, “Thriller” over and over again. They wouldn’t be able to help but stop dead (undead?) in their tracks and start dancing. While they’re dancing, capture them, then exterminate them.

A boat.

Fuck you all, I’m going someplace without zombies but with nuclear weapons. Maybe a bar of gold or two would help smooth my immigration status.

If I had to fight, my weapon choice would depend on the situation. If their blood was infectious like 28 days I would choose flamethrower first (assuming I could have my choice of weapons) and a mace or some other blunt force weapon second. If it was only the bite and not the blood which concerned me then I would go with a sharp bladed weapon (katana type) with a blunt force object as a backup if the fight was prolonged or just standard military weapons if the fight was short and ammo was ensurred. Too much depends on the circumstances.

StreetSweepwer with a suitcase full of shells.

Life would definately become alot more fun and less depressing.

[quote]Digital Chainsaw wrote:
Anakyn wrote:
cricket bat and a few dozen copies of the ‘Batman’ soundtrack LP

You want kill zombies while listening to “Batdance”?

Oh, wait, that would be kind of hard unless you were carrying a turntable on your back (you did say LP’s).

I’m assuming, then, that you want to use them as flying guillotines? Circular saw blades would probably serve you better, in this case.[/quote]

It was a reference to a scene in the film Shaun of the Dead.

Light Saber all the way.

A mossberg 500 A.

Think about it this way, almost ever gun out there has to have the clip removed or the cylinder swung out to be reloaded. With a my good old 500 A, I could slide a shell into the ammo tube, while still having one ready in the chamber. Its just like having a pistol with a live round in the chamber, but trust me, a 12 gauge can do a lot more damage then any old wimpy handgun. Also, shotgun shells are VERY common, so I would almost be guareenteed to have some ammo, and even birdshot would be semi-effective, (think peppering, dick cheney style). My second choice would be my simple 3 foot wrecking bar, (crow bar to the uneducated). I break sledge and axe handles easy, a 3 foot iron rod is damn near impossible to break. My last choice would be a .38 smith and wesson. One of the most accurate handguns, and If I am fighting a walking bloodborne pathogen, the reliability of a wheelgun is all too valuable.

I had a norinco AK once, and that little guy was a hell of a gun, that would be an ok option too.

I would want a Bobcat with the bucket modified to be a weapons platform, equipped with 4 .50 caliber wheel guns.
Maybe a couple of servo actuated flame throwers mounted in the upper corners of the roll cage.

Or maybe one of the larger earth mover type deals with a Phalanx anti- aircraft system attatched to it.

[quote]Anakyn wrote:
Digital Chainsaw wrote:
Anakyn wrote:
cricket bat and a few dozen copies of the ‘Batman’ soundtrack LP

You want kill zombies while listening to “Batdance”?

Oh, wait, that would be kind of hard unless you were carrying a turntable on your back (you did say LP’s).

I’m assuming, then, that you want to use them as flying guillotines? Circular saw blades would probably serve you better, in this case.

It was a reference to a scene in the film Shaun of the Dead.

[/quote]

Hmmm… Saw the movie, don’t remember that line. Ah, well…

While I appreciate the personal touch as much as anyone, in the event of zombie invasion, we’re going to have cities full of them. So let’s not mess about. We’re going to need a monster truck with the front covered in the biggest chainsaws that we can find.

And also good windscreen wipers.

[quote]happyinmotion wrote:
While I appreciate the personal touch as much as anyone, in the event of zombie invasion, we’re going to have cities full of them. So let’s not mess about. We’re going to need a monster truck with the front covered in the biggest chainsaws that we can find.

And also good windscreen wipers. [/quote]

So people are already working on this zombie thing, aren’t they?

They don’t build highly specialized machinery like that for nothing.

I smell a conspiracy!

http://pc.gamespy.com/pc/quake-iv/653516p7.html

[quote]brucevangeorge wrote:
Chainmail/Kevlar - Prevents the zombies from biting/infecting you with their zombiness.

HomeMade Chainsaw - Take a regular chainsaw and replace the motor with a small motorcycle engine instead.

Supersoaker Flamethrower - Take a supersoaker, fill it with gasoline (or something more flamable) and put a lighter at the nozzle.

Maybe one of these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troy_Hurtubise

[/quote]

has anyone read that stuff…I don’t know if it is awesome or crazy

BTW I love discussions about this Zombie Invasion topic! A lot of good points have been mentioned, but it really depends on what kind of zombies they are…if they are the slow boring types, it is fairly easy…but the fast ones…you need a truck or something strong enough to make your way through a whole group of them…and you need to team up with other non infected, and then try to acquire food and weapons to finally make it to a place where you can survive.

When I’m alone perhaps working in the lab or walking at night, my mind keeps thinking zombies are going to get me. As a result I’m always primed to run to the nearest secure place.