T Nation

Yuppies, Golf, and Marathons


#1

I had the misfortune of attending a "cookout" today where I had to interact with some repellant creatures: The Office-Bound Yuppie. Let me give you a description: pale, skinny, hairy arms and legs but sporting gut and love handles that strain the pleated khaki shorts and lime green polo shirt AND white t-shirt underneath (why do these geeks ALWAYS wear a white t-shirt underneath their shirts???).

Anyway, I tried to keep my distance but I got ambushed while waiting for some food. Mr. Yuppie felt compelled to tell me that even though he is not in shape now, he has run several marathons, and plans on running a few more in the future. This is not the first time I have heard this from this type. Am I supposed to be impressed by this feat? I mean, didn't Oprah and that pussy P-Diddy run a marathon?

Yuppies, golf and marathons: a secret society where non-athletes can feel good about themselves. I guess I can live with that.


#2

Fucking golf.....It's for those who can't/won't lift. It's the athletic pursuit of most guys my age and I refuse to give it any credibility, because it's a game for fat guys.

I feel better now...


#3

LOL!

IBAD...those "runs" tend to be more like "26 mile shuffles"...fueled by some of the pooest diets this side of the "Grapefruit and Egg!"

Mufasa


#4

LOL....a 26 mile shuffle that takes 5 hours and provides years' worth of "war stories."


#5

You know, for every little "health" practice there is that type.

There are plenty of girls at my school that think they are in shape because they go lift weights.

Guess that means everyone who lifts weights is just doing a 1 hour dance-off that turns into a 1 hour pose-off story.

I wouldn't know about marathons though... I just use them as a cool-down after my swim and cycle.

But then again... you wouldn't be generalizing.


#6

Because they are nervous as hell, or hairy as hell, and they sweat alot and don`t want to have sweat soaken pits?


#7

i enjoy Golf. i enjoy crushing the stereotype about a heavily muscled guy and golf. i really like that a finnesse thing like putting is my strength.

i enjoy beating plaid pants metrosexuals. The striated calves really flip them out.

Sadly, heavy powerlifting and golf are too hard on the low back when done together too often.

jmo
jack


#8

10 mins later, and I'm still pondering this one...


#9

Let me get this straight, you're seriously ripping on someone for wearing an undershirt?


#10

Wear anti-perspirant. I sweat naturally more than any adult male I know, but I've gone without pit-stains wearing a single shirt in 90 degree weather for the whole day... in crowded paris.

Back to the topic, who in their right mind would want to spend 6 hours WALKING a fucking marathon? Jesus christ.


#11

Anti-persperent or not, an undershirt can save laundry duty. I don't quite get it with the polo though.

I will say though that I'm very impressed with marathon RUNNERS. Marathon walking though is what you do when your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere... prior to the dueling banjos and ass raping. After that it's a marathon waddle if you're lucky.


#12

Just a guess: I think the undershirt is to "fill out" the polo shirt or hide the manboobs. Don't know why anyone would want to waer an extra shirt in the summer time? Wouldn't that increase the sweating?


#13

Amen to this thread! I'm 31 years old and more of my friends/colleagues are starting to get into golf. It's NOT a fuckin' sport. I've had this argument with a pot-bellied, 41-year-old yuppie in my office. It's a fucking skill game, but NOT a sport. The word "sport" implies athleticism, which golf does not involve. I REFUSE to get involved with ANYTHING to do with that godforsaken excuse for a sport/game and the whole nauseating scene that goes along with it. The fugly pants, the preppy pastel polo shirts, the plaid shit, the khakies, the country clubs, the guys named Mason (no offense to any Masons here) . . . . If I ever, ever, EVER show up anywhere NEAR that whole scene, y'all have my permission to just give me 2 between the eyes and end it for me. It's tough having to fend off the golfers all the time, being a guy in a white collar job in New York and making a decent income, but I'll be goddamned if I ever capitulate to THAT shit!

Oh, and truer words have never been spoken than those about the nerdy, hairy guys (usually skinny or skinny-fat) who are pasty white with an undershirt under a POLO shirt! If anti-perspirant ain't enough for you, too damn bad -- it's a polo shirt, not a dress shirt. You're NOT supposed to wear an undershirt with it. Suck up the consequences! (Good God)!

Now, I do have a certain amount of respect for those who can complete a marathan -- er, I should say, RUN a marathon, NOT walk one. I'm damn sure I wouldn't have an easy time doing one, so if you're actually RUNNING it non-stop, that's impressive. BUT, I don't see it as making you a T-man (very different thing), as you can run a marathon and still look like the skinny, hairy, pasty-white geek in the polo shirt.

It's funny how these geeks come up to me, too, and start mentioning their "workouts" or "physical pursuits" because they can see that I work out. It makes me laugh inside because the thing they can't remotely grasp is that, although both their activities and mine could be broadly categorized under the umbrella of "excercise," neither activity is even remotely similar to the other, even if they do do some "lifting" of weights.

Their workouts, or activities, whatever you want to call them, involve (usually aerobic) excercise for general health purposes, which is fine, with the general aim of working up a sweat, feeling like they've "exercised" today, and making sure their heart rate is kept at a certain level for a certain period of time (hence the geeky, thick stopwatches that some of them sport on their geeky, thin frames. "Ho-oh, I'm up 5 bips, Blaine!"). "Waddya say instead of running we play some squash tomorrow, Blaine?" And there's nothing wrong with all that -- good on 'em for at least keeping in shape.

My workouts aren't just about "getting some excercise," as most of the T-men here surely undertand themselves, although they certainly accomplish that goal in spades. My workouts are my time to myself during which I can set the I-pod to the "Workout" playlist, rife with Metallica, Rage, Velvet Revolver, G'n'R, Megadeth or the hardcore flavor of my minute, pop in the ear buds and crank it up to 11. It's a totally fucking testosterone-driven experience, even if only in my own head (as I try not to act like a complete ass in the gym -- if you REALLY need to scream and grunt beyond what's resonable, get a membership to a zoo). Watching the bar bend in the mirror and the grimace on your own face as Hetfield screams in your ears, "So what, so what, you boring little FUCK!!!!"

Knowing that you OWN that room full of weights and (mostly) wannabes, feeling so high on T it wouldn't matter if a tank burst through the walls and tried to mow you down -- it couldn't. Pretending I don't hear them when the 3 idiots who've been coming there for years but making shit for progress because they cheat their way through everything, work as hard as three-toed tree sloths and make their spotters do all the work for them exclaim under their breath, "Daaaaaamn!" "Motherfucker's STRONG!" when I'm benching or squatting right next to them, right after they were making more noise than a bunch of asthmatic hyenas caught under a truck tire.

Having the Polo-Shirt & Personal Trainer crowd look at me like I've got 6 heads when I perform -- my heavens! -- deadlifts, and ask their trainers, "What are those things he's doing? They look really hard!" all the while having the words, "Now MOVE sucka, MOVE!!!!" pumped into my ears. Having the big, burly, 320 pound guy say to you on your way out, "I saw you in there. You don't fool around!" Walking out of there still high enough to tear down a damn oak tree, and having your eardrums ring for a solid half an hour after you're done, but being okay with that because that means you did it right.

That experience has nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with the pasty guys who golf and play squash and walk marathons, so I am baffled when they come up to me and start talking about excercising. But not TOO baffled, because I know that they don't understand, and never will.

Ahhhhh, testosterone is such a WONDERFUL hormone, isn't it? :slight_smile:


#14

1BADMF, the idea is that if you wear two shirts, you'll sweat through just one and not show up on the other. Personally, I wear two t-shirts almost all the time to look bulkier heh. Not undershirt and t-shirt, I mean literally two normal, logo-and-all t-shirts.


#15

My yuppie 6'2" 165 # golfing brother ran the Houston marathon in under 3 hours.

A few years ago he came to visit and I dragged him to my old gym.

He impressed me by squatting 315 with good form. He was walking funny for a few days.

Some of these golfing, marathon running yuppies are athletes.


#16

I guess I've invaded your secret society because I'm a weightlifting, golfing, half marathon running yuppie. Get over it.


#17

Fuck NO!! Get out!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOUT!!!!!

:slightly_smiling:


#18

Properly training for a marathon is impressive. Lifting weights the way some people do it, such that it can barely be called LIFTING at all, is not impressive either.


#19

p.s.-golf is not a sport. But it can be a fun thing to do. And being a good golfer takes skill (just not athleticism).


#20

Haha. Last time I went golfing, my girlfriend got pissed at me because I tried goin shirtless halfway through the course (it was hotter than hell). Heh heh, you can take the white trash out of the trailer park....

And golf isn't a sport. It is like pool, bowling, and other things of that nature. They're all about skills, but you can be half dead and drinking a beer while you play it.