T Nation

Your Way of Dealing With Stress?


It’d be interesting to start a conversation on SITG vis a vis individual vs family unit. The (negative-)incentive to take care of one’s family, choose spouses wisely, make good financial decisions, legal decisions, etc.

The PWI Required Reading List

I get you on this one.

I pulled 5 months on 10 hour shifts, and I didn’t get a shit for it. It was paid OK but still, considering number of hours… could be better.

Irony is that on “shitty do nothing jobs” I managed to earn more than lots of people who work their asses off on long shift manual labour jobs. Like when I worked in D2D for teleoperator (door to door) as salesman. I actually had really good sales so I was actually paid pretty well.

So I tend to aim for jobs where you can get bonuses.
Not hard, not over 40hrs a week, and if you actually try and are good at it - you get nice money at the end of the month.

I’ll probably work for another year or 2 as promotor and then try myself out as car salesman, like few of my former coworkers from this job did and had some good results, and they now earn ridiculously good money because their sales are good.


I saw a debate with him where he was absolutely terrible and have avoided anything he touches since. I’m surprised he still has fans, but obviously don’t know his other work very well.

The PWI Required Reading List

I agree with you that calling him names and insults is wrong, but at the same time patting him on the back and saying “you’re doing great” won’t do any good either.

During college I worked 3 jobs and paid all the bills for my family. I did that from the age of 19 to 23. Now I have a job which is ridiculously low stress and pays me enough to not worry about my bills. I know firsthand how tough it can be, but whining about won’t do anything. Just tough it out, grind now party later.

I think with you and him, its a generational issue. Most 21 year olds I know can’t handle being told anything negative about themselves. Positive reinforcement can only take you so far. The reason the people on this forum are being so harsh is because they’ve lived it without crying about it.


You’re 22…

This is only your life for the time being. You’re speaking in a very short sighted way. What you do now doesn’t necessarily have to be what you’ll be doing 20 years from now. You have another 60+ years to work on your social life.


Yeah, well choosing the spouse is probably one of the most important financial decisions one makes in his/hers lifetime.

Having a family dramatically changes one’s spending habits - if you’re single and have two arms and two arms chances are you’ll be able to take care of yourself one way or the other, the only difference being the amount of disposable income you can spend after paying the bills. And you’re spending that on, well, yourself.

With a family to support it’s a completely different ball game. You’re in general becoming more risk averse.


I stopped buying coffee out because every time I handed over the cash I would think “I keep doing this and it might be the difference between dinner and not one day”

Little fucks… it ends up being the difference between an activity I need to pay for and the park most times but you never know.


I have the same mentality. I work to live, not live to work. It’s a great way to live a fulfilling life.

It only took me about a decade’s worth of effort, multiple degrees/certifications, and many many 50+ hour weeks (in some cases working 12on/12off for several months straight) to reach this point.

You’ve gotta pay your dues in this world.


This is a particularly timely subject for me as In dealing with a bunch of shit. Honestly J use to go out and drink and just try to take the hottest chick I could home. It was the only way I knew to get out of my own head when training just wasn’t enough. Now that aim supposed to be an adult I’m trying to get away from that behavior that’s great for a 21 year old… not so much for a 36 year old. Thanks to everyone for the great ideas.


I enjoyed the thread bump, too, and just bought one of the books mentioned upthread.

@dchris, your response to this reads almost like a definition of anxiety to me, or maybe I’m overlaying my own tendency to loop through potential negative outcomes without any real way to mitigate risk. Certainly Seneca is right in terms of maintaining fitness as a soldier, but how do you fortify through hypervigilance without increasing stress?


As my wife put it this weekend, I am immune to anxiety. lol! Although, I haven’t always been this way. In HS and college, i suffered from severe allegraphobia (fear of being late). It was so bad that I would wake up at 3am to get ready for class at 830. I’d then arrive at 630 to make sure I got a spot, then sit in my car tired and nervous about missing class.

All that to say, I haven’t always had this immunity. I believe the difference between what you mention below and Seneca is the purpose of running the scenarios through your head. An anxious person does it without control or a tamed mind. Whereas, when I intentionally sit down and ask myself what are the possible options:

  • What are the possible outcomes (list possibilities)

Possibility 1

  • What is my responsibility in this?

  • What power do I have to change this outcome?

  • If I can’t change this outcome from possibly occurring, how shall I respond?

  • Do I have responsibility for informing person, group, etc. this may happen?

Then, continue with each future possibility. I can give actual examples, but I have to prep for a conference call.


I’m late but I want to jump on this bandwagon.

I am fairly early in my career, but for about four years I worked 11+ hour days and was at the beck and call of my company. For a silly example- I worked the entire day on Super Bowl Sunday three years ago, and worked the entire day the day before that.

But it earned me quite a bit of good-will from my co-worker and bosses and had its benefits. My pay is equivalent to those with double my work experience. I am the only one in my group to survive an acquisition, and I was the junior member.

Now I work 5-6 hour days and off-load most work onto contractors. I only have to put in real hours if I cannot get a contractor to do it. The hardest part of my day now is now is finding more efficient ways to offload my work to contractors while also making myself the only person who can manage the system I’m trying to build. It’d be suicide for me to make it so efficient that anyone can do what I’m doing now.

I firmly believe in the notion of paying your dues, but with an important caveat- Your work needs to be visible to your employee/superiors and you need bosses who aren’t horrible human beings and can appreciate your work, even if it may seem like industry standard.

On the actual topic- I enjoyed playing mindless video games (like Diablo 3) while watching stuff on Youtube with what free time I had. I occasionally read popular non-fiction books.

It felt nice to turn my brain off.

Nowadays, I have too much free-time and mindless video gaming and Youtube are getting tedious. I need an actual hobby. I now have the time to actually have a life, and I don’t know what to do with it.

First-world problems.