T Nation

Your Dream, Fictional (Unfeasible) Profession

Something you’d be doing in another lifetime but that isn’t a feasible replacement for your current day job.

Mine:

Counterfeit artist.

I have a psychotic attention to detail and have always been fascinated with forgery. The art, not necessarily the crime of it. Has anyone seen the movie, Nueve Reinas (Nine Queens) ? I want to be the man that people fly to from any part of the world and whose artistry they solicit when they want a forged passport or special document. Catch Me If You Can was one of my favorite films for this reason. I would be the Rembrandt of counterfeiting.

Is there a museum dedicated to the history and art of forgery? There should be. Seriously.

professional athlete of course

super saiyan

[quote]Brown_Lifter wrote:
super saiyan[/quote]

Took a lot of thought, didn’t it?

God. I would be God.

I think it’d be awesome to work in a very sarcastic, almost sit-com like environment. Shame that doesn’t actually happen in real life ._.

[quote]PonceDeLeon wrote:
Something you’d be doing in another lifetime but that isn’t a feasible replacement for your current day job.

Mine:

Counterfeit artist.

I have a psychotic attention to detail and have always been fascinated with forgery. The art, not necessarily the crime of it. Has anyone seen the movie, Nueve Reinas (Nine Queens) ? I want to be the man that people fly to from any part of the world and whose artistry they solicit when they want a forged passport or special document. Catch Me If You Can was one of my favorite films for this reason. I would be the Rembrandt of counterfeiting.

Is there a museum dedicated to the history and art of forgery? There should be. Seriously.[/quote]

Hackers are kind of the modern day counterfeit artists are they not?

[quote]The Bambino wrote:
PonceDeLeon wrote:
Something you’d be doing in another lifetime but that isn’t a feasible replacement for your current day job.

Mine:

Counterfeit artist.

I have a psychotic attention to detail and have always been fascinated with forgery. The art, not necessarily the crime of it. Has anyone seen the movie, Nueve Reinas (Nine Queens) ? I want to be the man that people fly to from any part of the world and whose artistry they solicit when they want a forged passport or special document. Catch Me If You Can was one of my favorite films for this reason. I would be the Rembrandt of counterfeiting.

Is there a museum dedicated to the history and art of forgery? There should be. Seriously.

Hackers are kind of the modern day counterfeit artists are they not?

[/quote]

No. Hackers qualify as ‘thieves’ that commit ‘heists,’ but there is no VISUAL artistry necessary to pull off the heist.

I’d consider hackers as modern day Houdinis, in a sense, because they need to not leave any footsteps and always have an escape plan.

But the same level as forging currency or stamps or documents? Maybe some cross-over for certain ‘projects,’ but ultimately no.

Yeah I certainly see what you are saying. But as far as forging currency and documents go, so much of that is paperless now that it still seems kind of the same to me in some respect. I’m afraid your dream profession is going the way of the railroad:)

[quote]PonceDeLeon wrote:
The Bambino wrote:
PonceDeLeon wrote:
Hackers are kind of the modern day counterfeit artists are they not?

No. Hackers qualify as ‘thieves’ that commit ‘heists,’ but there is no VISUAL artistry necessary to pull off the heist.

I’d consider hackers as modern day Houdinis, in a sense, because they need to not leave any footsteps and always have an escape plan.

But the same level as forging currency or stamps or documents? Maybe some cross-over for certain ‘projects,’ but ultimately no.

[/quote]

Social engineering = Con artist = Hacking in the raw.

EDIT: What about making fake website to steal bank details? That’s good counterfiting?

[quote]WolBarret wrote:
God. I would be God.[/quote]

It didn’t look very fun when Morgan Freeman let Jim Carrey be it for awhile.

Sounds dumb because it’s still work…

But I’d like to have Stallone’s job in Cliffhanger

An aerialist for Cirque du Soliel. In fact this looks so cool I’m pushing it for my kids.

[quote]Brown_Lifter wrote:
I think it’d be awesome to work in a very sarcastic, almost sit-com like environment. Shame that doesn’t actually happen in real life ._.[/quote]

I want to work in “The Office” I don’t know if I’d want to be my own character or replace a current one. Part of me wants to be Jim so I can bang Pam, but at the same time the office wouldnt be as vibrant. I think I’d just be added to the show.

Can you imagine having Micheal Scott as your boss?

[quote]Spry wrote:
Social engineering = Con artist = Hacking in the raw.

EDIT: What about making fake website to steal bank details? That’s good counterfiting?[/quote]

Good question, but here’s why I disagree.

There is something about using mechanical and analog tools, about knowing how ink bleeds and on what types of paper, how light will reflect off certain colors on certain fabrics…something about all that that means there is a low chance of even duplicating one piece of counterfeit work, sort of like how every drop of water breaks the surface of a fluid differently. That unpredictability has to be tamed by experience, by the ‘art’ of counterfeiting. It is pure judgment, pure instinct.

With a website, you have a set color palette, you can create infinite buttons, all the same size. With web and digital stuff it just boils down to the seduction of the user by way of how they are made to interact with the interface.

With traditional forgery you can regard a document as a work of art. Literally.

Hey Ponce, that’s also something I’ve often fantasized about doing!
Google master forger Eric Hebborn. He wreaked such havoc in the art market, he was beaten to death on a street in Italy. His book “Art Forger’s Handbook” is an EXCELLENT manual instructing artists on the use of mediums and techniques for creating authentic knock-offs.

Cat burglar.

A viking. What better job than dominating entire countries just for fun?

This may sound anti-climactic, but I’d be a firefighter.

I see these guys walking around downtown and they have their last names on the backs of their gear, like a hockey jersey…I just think firefighters are pretty fuckin’ cool I guess haha.

Rock star.