T Nation

Your Biggest Enemy Is Yourself

So today was supposed to be the BIG day. Today was supposed to be the day I benched 350+. I’ve been anticipating this for quite some time. Most people couldn’t care less, but lifting for the last 12 months is something I have found a great passion in.

As I’m trying to get psyched with the sappy pop music in the backround the volleyball team comes in. This goes well and I get fans. This doesn’t go well and I look like a monkey. So for my first attempt I try 350 and nope, not happening. At this point I am pretty crushed, I really thought I could hit it.

Alright, fine, switch some weight and let’s try again. Second attempt 346 and I think I have it but a spotter interprets me wrong and touches the bar, I stop and by the time I tell him NO and he lets go I can no longer push it up. So 0 for 2 and as nancy boy as it sounds I feel emotionally shot.

I really didn’t want to try it again, but I couldn’t help but think this is when it counts, when things aren’t going right, who do you want to be. Third attempt I get it past my weak point (the first 1/3 of the push) but my left arm gives out and I got no more push in me.

In June I did 340 and I couldn’t fathom why I can’t hit 6 pounds more today, if not even 10, especially with my training getting stronger. How the hell could it not carry over to my one rep max? Is my CNS overloaded? Did I not take enough recovery time from my last session? Should I have devoted more time to warming up? Could I have had pressed the bar if my spotter didn’t touch it second attempt?

However important the answer to these questions be, if not for anything but my next one rep attempt, it just equals ONE thing. Today it didn’t happen. I could dwell on it and have it ruin my weekend, just as I did for the rest of my workout today, but instead I’m going to try to make the best of it and just back in the grind next week and keeping pushing myself because if I can’t hit 350 then the only person to blame is myself.

Your Biggest Enemy Is Yourself…

Yep!

I tried to tell myself that, but I beat myself up.

Nah, your biggest enemy is that really big dude who hates your guts.

Pump yourself up full of coffee and red bull and ephedrine and try again.