T Nation

You vs. 4,000 Killer Bees

You find yourself in a large open field maybe mowing the lawn or simply walking back to your house when suddenly, you stumble upon a bee hive. Before you have a chance to realize what you have found, you are surrounded by 4,000 killer bees ready to attack. What would be your plan of escape or killing off some the bees?

[quote]Jetric9 wrote:
You find yourself in a large open field maybe mowing the lawn or simply walking back to your house when suddenly, you stumble upon a bee hive. Before you have a chance to realize what you have found, you are surrounded by 4,000 killer bees ready to attack. What would be your plan of escape or killing off some the bees?[/quote]

I am a bee keeper and bees don’t act that way unless you disturb their nest - as in kick it over or break it up. Besides that they mind their own business – even so called “killer” bees.

Now if you did get them after you because you were being a dumbass and poking their nest with a stick - then your best bet is to run in a 90 degree zig-zag motion and keep running till you find something to get in (house, car, etc.).

On/off topic- my wife and I were out playing golf a few weeks ago, as far away from the club house and any water as we could be when we hear this noise sounds like a model airplane. I look up about 20ft over our head I see a giant swarm of bees, had to be severl thousand. We both about shit ourselves but we stood still until they passed and they payed us no attention. Freaked me out, I’ve never seen such a thing.

[quote]mmllcc wrote:
Jetric9 wrote:
You find yourself in a large open field maybe mowing the lawn or simply walking back to your house when suddenly, you stumble upon a bee hive. Before you have a chance to realize what you have found, you are surrounded by 4,000 killer bees ready to attack. What would be your plan of escape or killing off some the bees?

I am a bee keeper and bees don’t act that way unless you disturb their nest - as in kick it over or break it up. Besides that they mind their own business – even so called “killer” bees.

Now if you did get them after you because you were being a dumbass and poking their nest with a stick - then your best bet is to run in a 90 degree zig-zag motion and keep running till you find something to get in (house, car, etc.).[/quote]

Really no reason to post after this response.

dude. fuck that. I would punch every bee in the face.

but seriously, I’d pull my shirt over my face and sprint towards the nearest building.

If they are African honeybees, you best bet is to just run as fast and as far as you can.

Unlike European honeybees, which are generally not particularly aggressive, the African kind are extremely aggressive and defensive when their hive is disturbed - be it direct contact with the hive, vibrations, or simply walking close by wearing dark clothing. They swarm in significantly greater numbers (think “dark cloud”), and each sting releases a chemical scent into the air that attracts more bees to the targer - ie, you.

They, like mosquitoes, are also drawn to the carbon dioxide we exhale - so covering your mouth/nose is a good start.

Diving into water is no good, as they are commonly known to hover above the water for their “victim” to surface.

Their defensive zone can be up to a 1/4 from the hive, so your best bet is either getting indoors or simply running until you reach this mark. They can remain hypervigilant for the next day or so, so avoiding that general area for a while would be a good bet.

The good news is that it takes about 1,500 bee stings to kill a healthy adult male (provided you are not allergic, in which case one sting can do it). So as long as you run far and fast (fighting them off is not an option) you should be OK (well…4,000 is a LOT, so who knows).

Why do I know all this? Because I got blazed and watched When Animals Attack last night on TV (flipping between that and The Man Whose Arms Exploded). Who woulda guessed this knowledge would come in handy?

I doubt it takes 1500 stings to kill a healthy adult. Maybe to make you drop dead on the spot, but even a hundred or so without immediate medical attention will f**k a person up badly.

I was swarmed by bald faced hornets after accidentaly whacking open their hive with a brush cutter. It’s hard to say how many stings because there were multiple stings at each site, but without medical attention I would have been a gonner. That was probably not more than 100-150 stings.

I did run and jump in a pool to no great avail. They hold on and continue stinging.

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
I doubt it takes 1500 stings to kill a healthy adult. Maybe to make you drop dead on the spot, but even a hundred or so without immediate medical attention will f**k a person up badly.

I was swarmed by bald faced hornets after accidentaly whacking open their hive with a brush cutter. It’s hard to say how many stings because there were multiple stings at each site, but without medical attention I would have been a gonner. That was probably not more than 100-150 stings.

I did run and jump in a pool to no great avail. They hold on and continue stinging.
[/quote]

I’ve heard the figure as high as 10 stings per pound of bodyweight, so 1,500 - outside of what I’m sure would be excrutiating pain - isn’t that much at all for most of us T-Nationers.

Given this information, this would probably be the one scenario where the Fantasy Feeders could outlive us (assuming they don’t have a heart attack when oozing away).

edit: [quote]The average person can safely tolerate 10 stings per pound of body weight. This means that although 500 stings could kill a child, the average adult could withstand more than 1100 stings.[/quote]

http://www.ars.usda.gov/Research/docs.htm?docid=11067

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
I doubt it takes 1500 stings to kill a healthy adult. Maybe to make you drop dead on the spot, but even a hundred or so without immediate medical attention will f**k a person up badly.

I was swarmed by bald faced hornets after accidentaly whacking open their hive with a brush cutter. It’s hard to say how many stings because there were multiple stings at each site, but without medical attention I would have been a gonner. That was probably not more than 100-150 stings.

I did run and jump in a pool to no great avail. They hold on and continue stinging.
[/quote]

Damn. I cannot imagine the extent to which that sucked balls.

I’d run for a mile all out. I heard they only chase you for a mile, unlike European honeybees which only chase you for a couple hundred yards.

I would hold their queen hostage at gunpoint. I’ll tell them that if they sting me, I would do stuff to her…nasty stuff.

4000 killer bees? Easy.

I’d simply throw five year olds at them until they were all fed up with stinging things to shit and they went away.

This would do two great things. I’d survive the killer bees plus my “How many five year olds could you take in a fight” score would be HUGE!

[quote]JayPierce wrote:
SkyzykS wrote:
I doubt it takes 1500 stings to kill a healthy adult. Maybe to make you drop dead on the spot, but even a hundred or so without immediate medical attention will f**k a person up badly.

I was swarmed by bald faced hornets after accidentaly whacking open their hive with a brush cutter. It’s hard to say how many stings because there were multiple stings at each site, but without medical attention I would have been a gonner. That was probably not more than 100-150 stings.

I did run and jump in a pool to no great avail. They hold on and continue stinging.

Damn. I cannot imagine the extent to which that sucked balls.[/quote]

It sucked balls to a degree similar to those machines that they use for uncovering stuff on the bottom of the sea would, if it were designed to suck balls.

Realisticaly though, against 4000 killer bees, I would whip out a handy dandy Raytheon Phalanx ciws shown here-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vH5RVTS4QxA&feature=related

and deal to them a bitchslap like they had not imagined.

I put on a bee mascot outfit and control them to do my bidding.

[quote]Pootie Tang wrote:
I would hold their queen hostage at gunpoint. I’ll tell them that if they sting me, I would do stuff to her…nasty stuff.[/quote]

Best response so far.

I was under the impression that a healthy human could outrun bees?

[quote]mmllcc wrote:
Jetric9 wrote:
You find yourself in a large open field maybe mowing the lawn or simply walking back to your house when suddenly, you stumble upon a bee hive. Before you have a chance to realize what you have found, you are surrounded by 4,000 killer bees ready to attack. What would be your plan of escape or killing off some the bees?

I am a bee keeper and bees don’t act that way unless you disturb their nest - as in kick it over or break it up. Besides that they mind their own business – even so called “killer” bees.

Now if you did get them after you because you were being a dumbass and poking their nest with a stick - then your best bet is to run in a 90 degree zig-zag motion and keep running till you find something to get in (house, car, etc.).[/quote]

I know they are africanized bees because we had a city exterminator come to my house twice already. The guy got attacked really fast as soon as he approached them even with his protective suit. He got stung 3 times in the head. It was his guesstimate that there were around 3 to 4,000 bees. We have a small house behind my house used for storing the lawn mower and what not, and they were living underneath since the little house is not sitting on the ground.

Anyway, they are still there since we have not been able to remove the bee hive.

I need to get one of these.

[quote]Blaze_108 wrote:
dude. fuck that. I would punch every bee in the face.

but seriously, I’d pull my shirt over my face and sprint towards the nearest building.[/quote]

What if you trip and fall?

[quote]Renton wrote:
4000 killer bees? Easy.

I’d simply throw five year olds at them until they were all fed up with stinging things to shit and they went away.

This would do two great things. I’d survive the killer bees plus my “How many five year olds could you take in a fight” score would be HUGE![/quote]

What if the 5 year olds gang up on you and tie you up instead and leave you there with the bees?

What are you going to do?