T Nation

You Versus Someone Better Looking For A Girl


Maybe some of you can shed some light on a personal dilemma. To get straight to the point; there is this attractive girl within a social circle I am a part of (not my main circle of friends) that I'm into and want to essentially get with. We've never really had any alone time together yet where I've had the opportunity to really get close with her.

Part of the reason for this is because I know through communication with other people in our little circle that another dude has been trying to get with her. Normally this wouldn't be a problem as I don't mind a little competition but (and here come the excuses) firstly, this dude is in the Abercrombie and Fitch league of good looks and second, I don't know the extent of their relationship, except that they're not dating per se (and it wouldn't bother me if they fucked once or twice).

I know both of these are mental excuses borne from insecurity, and yes, I feel like a pussy, but I just can't get myself to even "try" anything with her. I really believe this situation has exposed a larger problem in my belief system. I've been with girls who have boyfriends (found out after) but for the some of the cases I've felt like the respective dudes fucked up instead of me succeeding.

I know if I get with this girl I'll feel like he screwed up instead of me "winning her over."


In old SAMA fashion:

Eat a steak, do some deadlifts, and grow a pair.

On a serious note, don't insecure, chicks can smell that from kilometers away. So what if the other guy has good looks? You can win over with attitude, respect for her, compliment her, and all that classic crap.


Guy with the most confidence and interesting personality wins. I don't even care if you lift. Not gonna lie, animal attraction does play a part - but I'm not gonna touch a guy with Abercrombie looks. Id rather have a redneck. They don't mind getting getting dirty. if you know what I mean.


This is why I always think it would have been much simpler if I were born hundreds of years ago. Then you could just go all Viking on his ass and not have to worry about any of this.


You need to get your shit straight. Do you really want to live your life with such a terrible defeatist attitude?


Rednecks love playing in the mud....


Are you bigger and stronger than him? All you really need is the most confidence, which right now he has, because you're worrying about how he's better looking than you. If he's like a shrimp compared to you though you should draw on the confidence that you could break this pretty boy as easily as snapping a toothpick (even if you can't cuz we're not in Viking times and you will totally get arrested). It should be in the back of your mind though giving you confidence.


I suspect theBeth will have a ton of pics sent to her now of TN'rs all covered with mud.


Can't help, I'm always the other guy.

Make more money then him, it's your only hope seeing how you have no confidence. A Porsche can fix that.


I'm sure she's disappointed that PM's have been disabled for like a year now. She could have had an entire database of dick pics by now.


Been there. Get over that inferiority complex. He's not better than you. Either pursue her or don't. That's the power of your decision. No one but you.


I think this is completely irrelevant. He may be better looking than you, smarter, stronger, richer, etc..doesn't matter.

I've been with girls that, on paper, had everything I wanted, but I wasn't feeling it.

It all comes down to if you have chemistry with her. Want her? Make a move. If not, life will go on for everyone.

edit: I find with some things, thinking about it too much sets you back. Don't think. Just go for it.


Just ask her out.


That or pics of everybody's wives.

Last year I went out for a drink with my boss and some equipment sales reps and I'll never forget one of them was a little tipsy and showed me an entire video on his iphone of his wife giving birth - from that end. It was the hottest birth vid I've ever seen. I don't know why people show me these things.


You are in la-la land and you pick a PORSCHE? Don't get me wrong, the car is beautiful and I admire it, but every porsche I see is driven by exactly the type of people who are 100% see-through in their choices.

I'm old as fuck, fucked up hairline and wrinkles, lemme get a Porsche because "it can fix that".

m3 is where it's at(if we are talking less than.. you know 80k cars).


Figure this part out first. You're worried about the competition before you're even in the game.


LOL strange


per se


As far as looks go, you only need to be good enough looking (and some girls don't care about looks at all). If you are good enough looking for this girl, you're basically on even ground with the Abercrombie guy. The rest comes down to the much bigger and more complex battlefield of personality.


Girls hardly care about looks as much as guys do, definitely nothing to worry about. The only thing holding you back is your own thoughts, maybe this is a good time to face your insecurities while also pursuing this chick. At the very least try and ask her out or something. You have not even begun the actual pursuit yet.