a girl has ever accidentally touched your arm, and then felt it again (and then your chest) just to check if was hard as she thought it was!
you ever walk in to a crowded gym but don’t have to queue for anything because any item of any worth has been by-passed by the Smith machine-loving public
a line of people have told you that bad form is going too low
you don’t wear you lifting belt for anything other than the heaviest squats/dead/other functional lifts (that is if you even wear a belt at all)
you don’t squeal like a pig-fucking whore whilst doing any exercise
you’ve ever just silently walked away from someone mid-sentence who told you the keys to a big bench was flyes.
people stop what their doing to watch you do an exercise.
When you’re benching and someone asks why your right leg is so much more vascular than your left, and you say “oh, sorry, I forgot to wear underwear today.”
You laugh at 155 pound punks trying to look hard wearing wifebeaters.
You applaud the guy doing strict barbell curls with 135 pounds. You applaud if he does it on top of the counter, in the grass, inverted, naked, or in the squat rack.
When you go to a restaurant and get pissed that they don’t have any steaks over 12 oz, and so when you order you ask for a steak “with a steak on the side” and the waitress looks at you like “wtf?”
Your girl’s friends think you’re cheating on her because you have marks on your back from squatting and don’t believe you could be possibly spending that much time at the gym and eating.
You work in a bar and get all the free drinks you want, and chose protien shakes.
You refer to meals as feedings and set a watch to go off every 3 hours to time said feedings.
Your friend (who is a pansy and has never touched a weight) goes to tackle you and hurts himself in the process, while you take little to no notice that he was seriously trying to knock you over.
…you’re the only one in your gym who actually perspires.
…you end up doing 6 sets for each set done by the frat boys next to you.
…you’ve seen somebody grimacing while drinking plain BCAAs and tried to get them to try Surge instead.
…you’ve ever put a bully in his place.
…your date doesn’t get flowers, but does get the car door held open for her, every time.
…when your date excuses herself to go to the powder room while you’re eating your steak, you actually stand up from your chair, no matter how good the steak.
....view your new Powerblocks as a better investment choice than your co-worker's mutual funds...
....argue with your spouse that buying Grow! is not technically like buying supplements, 'cause its really just food...
....feel an urgent need to grab the Slim Fast can being consumed by one of your colleagues and throw it as far away from them as you can while screaming 'Its Soy you idiot!'....
....struggle to keep the disgust off your face when you hear idiots spouting exercise 'advice'...
I like the one about chugging water and slobbering all over yourself; that is hilarious because I am sure I do this often after pulling/squatting, yet the gym I go to is not exactly hardcore…so I can imagine what the pretty people are thinking.
Here’s my addition:
Being asked for a spot by a 135 pound girly man, in full wife beater attire, who is curling dimes(this happened to me a week ago). But instead of angrily slapping him or even just ignoring him, aiding in the 65 pound negatives, which also occured in the squat rack, and then going back to pulling with a new found aggression and PRing 375 x 5.
Not reading Flex.
Doing weighted chins instead of cable pulldowns.
Preaching the good word of T-nation; I almost feel like a recruiter sometimes. But if someone asks me for advice(usually happens atleast once a month) I put in my two cents and then advertise for T-mag. I think I am going to just buy a few shirts next time I order my Grow/Surge and just point to the words.