You might be a T-Man if...

You have to buy larger dress pants, and then get the waist taken in.

The only use you see for the leg press is to hook your feet under it for glute ham raises.

Your hamstring workout consists of more than just light leg curls at the end of leg day.

People at the park think you’re insane because you drag a weighted sled.

you eat more in a day, than five of your friends.

you chose the ‘salad’ AFTER the steak, not INSTEAD of.

when the waiter asks you how you like your steak, you reply ‘just wipe its (cows’) ass, and put it on a plate’

jaystyles

if…

a girl has ever accidentally touched your arm, and then felt it again (and then your chest) just to check if was hard as she thought it was!

you ever walk in to a crowded gym but don’t have to queue for anything because any item of any worth has been by-passed by the Smith machine-loving public

a line of people have told you that bad form is going too low

you don’t wear you lifting belt for anything other than the heaviest squats/dead/other functional lifts (that is if you even wear a belt at all)

you don’t squeal like a pig-fucking whore whilst doing any exercise

you’ve ever just silently walked away from someone mid-sentence who told you the keys to a big bench was flyes.

people stop what their doing to watch you do an exercise.

When you’re benching and someone asks why your right leg is so much more vascular than your left, and you say “oh, sorry, I forgot to wear underwear today.”

  1. You laugh at 155 pound punks trying to look hard wearing wifebeaters.

  2. You applaud the guy doing strict barbell curls with 135 pounds. You applaud if he does it on top of the counter, in the grass, inverted, naked, or in the squat rack.

  3. You engage in political discussions.

When you go to a restaurant and get pissed that they don’t have any steaks over 12 oz, and so when you order you ask for a steak “with a steak on the side” and the waitress looks at you like “wtf?”

You might be a T-Man if…

Your girl accuses you of loving the gym more than her.

You work construction and your boss introduces you as “Forklift”

Your girl’s friends think you’re cheating on her because you have marks on your back from squatting and don’t believe you could be possibly spending that much time at the gym and eating.

if…

You work in a bar and get all the free drinks you want, and chose protien shakes.

You refer to meals as feedings and set a watch to go off every 3 hours to time said feedings.

Your friend (who is a pansy and has never touched a weight) goes to tackle you and hurts himself in the process, while you take little to no notice that he was seriously trying to knock you over.

…you’re the only one in your gym who actually perspires.

…you end up doing 6 sets for each set done by the frat boys next to you.

…you’ve seen somebody grimacing while drinking plain BCAAs and tried to get them to try Surge instead.

…you’ve ever put a bully in his place.

…your date doesn’t get flowers, but does get the car door held open for her, every time.

…when your date excuses herself to go to the powder room while you’re eating your steak, you actually stand up from your chair, no matter how good the steak.

…you’ve never sued anybody for making you fat.

If you…

 ....view your new Powerblocks as a better investment choice than your co-worker's mutual funds...

 ....argue with your spouse that buying Grow! is not technically like buying supplements, 'cause its really just food...

 ....feel an urgent need to grab the Slim Fast can being consumed by one of your colleagues and throw it as far away from them as you can while screaming 'Its Soy you idiot!'....

 ....struggle to keep the disgust  off your face when you hear idiots spouting exercise 'advice'...

I like the one about chugging water and slobbering all over yourself; that is hilarious because I am sure I do this often after pulling/squatting, yet the gym I go to is not exactly hardcore…so I can imagine what the pretty people are thinking.

Here’s my addition:

Being asked for a spot by a 135 pound girly man, in full wife beater attire, who is curling dimes(this happened to me a week ago). But instead of angrily slapping him or even just ignoring him, aiding in the 65 pound negatives, which also occured in the squat rack, and then going back to pulling with a new found aggression and PRing 375 x 5.

Not reading Flex.

Doing weighted chins instead of cable pulldowns.

Preaching the good word of T-nation; I almost feel like a recruiter sometimes. But if someone asks me for advice(usually happens atleast once a month) I put in my two cents and then advertise for T-mag. I think I am going to just buy a few shirts next time I order my Grow/Surge and just point to the words.

You might be a T-Man if…

If your going ape shit for Friday when they might unvail the big secret!

Forklift…nice.

…when your lifting partners think you’re an arrogant prick because you actually prefer to perform different rep/set schemes than they do.

…when you get excited about lower prices on Biotest products.

…when folks tell you to “take it easy” while performing deadlifts and squats, because “they’re just soooo dangerous for the back and knees!!!”

…when you think that talking excessivley in the gym is an annoying distraction.

…if you prefer 2-a-day splits to one long, “efficient” workout.

…if you spend more money on whole foods and supps than on beer and pizza!

…if you’re farts stink like a sewer, but you still decide to keep eating lots o’ protein because the alterantive is just unthinkable!

people ask you if you’ve ever bent/broken an Olympic bar while squatting…

you know how to balance an Olympic bar on top of the leg press stack so you can add a few more plates…

the chains on your weight belt pinch holes in the front of all your gym shirts when you do pullups…

you spend more than $100 in
alterations when you buy a suit…

Ronin