You can’t count above 5 but can multiply by 45 in your head.
You’re the only one wearing jeans in the gym.
You inhale ammonia instead of using it for cleaning.
You’ve ruined most of the bars at the gym.
You check your depth when using the john.
You have ever stolen the baby powder from your kids diaper bag.
When asked by a doctor for a blood sample you show him your shins.
You develop “white lung” from the chalk and babypowder.
You can run the 100 meters in 25 flat.
You use the handicap stall at a public restroom for the use of the handrails on leg day.
The greeting “Good Morning” makes your hamstrings and lower back ache.
You have to rub up against a door or the corner of a wall to scratch your upper back.
You drop something, and go into a sumo stance to pick it up.
You think chalk is for anything EXCEPT writing.
You still haven’t found a gym bag BIG enough for all your gear.
You dismount the toilet like doing box squats.
You give yourself an audible “Rack!” command when hanging clothes in the closet.
You have purchased a polyester outfit that exceeds $100.
You have ever used a Home Depot card to purchase “training equipment”.
Your body looks like it was in some sort of car wreck from all the bruises, abrasions from gear and bloodshot eyes from squatting.
You schedule your school classes so they won’t interfere with your workouts.
You have two sets of clothes to accomodate your weight fluctuations.
You spend more on large rubberbands than on clothes.
You get funny looks as you stroll into the gym with a stack of 2x6’s under your arm.
You’re stonger at 50 than you were in your 20’s.
You sleep with a pair of kneewraps under your pillow.
You have the biggest quads in the gym - and the smallest calves.
You can benchpress over 400 lbs. but have trouble curling the 50 lb. dumbells.
You consider anything over a triple to be cardio.
Your girlfriend tells you to meet her for dinner in your best suit and you show in your inzer hardcore.
Sneak chalk into the gym.
Wear Chuck Taylors.
Carry plates and huge chains in your trunk even though it isn’t winter
Racking plates doesn’t mean emptying the dishwasher.
You’ve used your lifting belt to tow someone whose car broke down.
Always swing by the chain section of Home Depot, no matter what you’re buying.
Do landscaping work just for a chance to pick up big rocks.
Don’t mind manual labor because it helps your GPP.
Pinch grip cinder blocks and walk really slowly to your truck when you’re loading it.
Check out other people’s form in the Gym so much that they think you’re flirting.
Don’t bother with aftershave or cologne because Tiger Balm/Icy Hot/Ben Gay smell pretty good to you.
Are uncomfortable in a gym that doesn’t smell “used”.
Wait until a person’s personal trainer is gone and then go over and correct the mistakes the trainer made.
Feel a sense of pride every time a BBer comes over and tries to correct your squat form or just says “What’s that called?” or “What does that work?”
Are proud of the fact that you’re getting a big ass and a lineman’s belly.
Have shins with callouses.
Feel like you’re missing a chance to grow if your stomach isn’t full.
Diet to gain weight.
Lose weight when you aren’t able to make the gym for a while…
has a setting for dehydrating that means jerky of all sorts and lots of dehydrated fruit. I love apricots and walnuts.