T Nation

You Might Be a Powerlifter If......

You can’t count above 5 but can multiply by 45 in your head.

You’re the only one wearing jeans in the gym.

You inhale ammonia instead of using it for cleaning.

You’ve ruined most of the bars at the gym.

You check your depth when using the john.

You have ever stolen the baby powder from your kids diaper bag.

When asked by a doctor for a blood sample you show him your shins.

You develop “white lung” from the chalk and babypowder.

You can run the 100 meters in 25 flat.

You use the handicap stall at a public restroom for the use of the handrails on leg day.

The greeting “Good Morning” makes your hamstrings and lower back ache.

You have to rub up against a door or the corner of a wall to scratch your upper back.

You drop something, and go into a sumo stance to pick it up.

You think chalk is for anything EXCEPT writing.

You still haven’t found a gym bag BIG enough for all your gear.

You dismount the toilet like doing box squats.

You give yourself an audible “Rack!” command when hanging clothes in the closet.

You have purchased a polyester outfit that exceeds $100.

You have ever used a Home Depot card to purchase “training equipment”.

Your body looks like it was in some sort of car wreck from all the bruises, abrasions from gear and bloodshot eyes from squatting.

You schedule your school classes so they won’t interfere with your workouts.

You have two sets of clothes to accomodate your weight fluctuations.

You spend more on large rubberbands than on clothes.

You get funny looks as you stroll into the gym with a stack of 2x6’s under your arm.

You’re stonger at 50 than you were in your 20’s.

You sleep with a pair of kneewraps under your pillow.

You have the biggest quads in the gym - and the smallest calves.

You can benchpress over 400 lbs. but have trouble curling the 50 lb. dumbells.

You consider anything over a triple to be cardio.

Your girlfriend tells you to meet her for dinner in your best suit and you show in your inzer hardcore.

Sneak chalk into the gym.

Wear Chuck Taylors.

Carry plates and huge chains in your trunk even though it isn’t winter

Racking plates doesn’t mean emptying the dishwasher.

You’ve used your lifting belt to tow someone whose car broke down.

Always swing by the chain section of Home Depot, no matter what you’re buying.

Do landscaping work just for a chance to pick up big rocks.

Don’t mind manual labor because it helps your GPP.

Pinch grip cinder blocks and walk really slowly to your truck when you’re loading it.

Check out other people’s form in the Gym so much that they think you’re flirting.

Don’t bother with aftershave or cologne because Tiger Balm/Icy Hot/Ben Gay smell pretty good to you.

Are uncomfortable in a gym that doesn’t smell “used”.

Wait until a person’s personal trainer is gone and then go over and correct the mistakes the trainer made.

Feel a sense of pride every time a BBer comes over and tries to correct your squat form or just says “What’s that called?” or “What does that work?”

Are proud of the fact that you’re getting a big ass and a lineman’s belly.

Have shins with callouses.

Feel like you’re missing a chance to grow if your stomach isn’t full.

Diet to gain weight.

Lose weight when you aren’t able to make the gym for a while…

-People don’t talk to you directly, they ask your workout partner to ask you stuff.

-You’ve got your “out in public” beanies and your “training beanies”

-You pick your movie theaters based on if you can lift up the armrest for more room.

-You heavily consider starting your own moving business for your GPP.

Good thread!

Very nice!!!

lol…i sumolift every damn thing off the floor…

Great Thread…

heres a few more

-Employees at fashionable stores in the mall often shudder as you lumber past on your way to the big and tall store.

-Your idea of a good date is going to the gym and then to the all-u-can eat place around the corner

-In your mind spending quality time with the girlfriend could be best spent while watching any or all of the westside videos

Your warmup sets consist of rubbing yourself down with linament.

Don’t forget about the bruised ribs from being elbowed every night by your wife to roll over because of the freight train snoring from gaining all that weight.

I had this on my HD, can’t remember where I got it though. But I thought some of you might get a kick out of it. I’m actually guilty of some of these. Here’s another.

Seriously planned a vacation or honeymoon to Columbus, Ohio.

-You don’t necessarily look at yourself too much in the mirror unless you’re verifying form or checking out the sweet pinch hickies on your shoulders.

when you walk around with a back pack, people stare at you because your sweating so damn much from all that weight inside.

lol, that’s hilarious, lol, whoa, I had no idea that’s what I had come to become, except for the part about the small calves, I pride myself on having just about the strongest shins in the gym, even though Im fourteen and weigh 165, lol. Oh and the bench press thing, I have a fairly weak bench for some reason… I’ll have to work on that… huh, anyway, good thread

If you pause when people ask you why you do that, just cause the idea of not doing it doesn’t really make sense.

This topic is hilarious.

  • Your friends plan meals around your ability to eat.

  • The staff at your gym counter treat you as some kind of mythic evil.

  • Your arse and thighs can ruin a futon in one sleep.

  • Your training partner’s name is prefixed by ‘Crazy’ i.e. ‘Crazy Dave’, ‘Crazy Jim’

  • You consider the use of vet products to be both normal and economical.

  • You develop a fascination with beef jerky… or maybe that one’s just me.

I love this thread - Bump!!

LOL

You can convert kilos to pounds and back again in your head.

“You drop something, and go into a sumo stance to pick it up.”

HAHAHA i think i fell of the chair when i read this one.

You plan all of your vacation and holidays around meets.

You have ever dropped a bar on your head - and done another set after that.

Purchased basketballs to stretch the legs of your new suits

You’re not alone on the jerky.

I just found out that the new oven in the house I helped build for my parents (it’s kinda my place right now :slight_smile: has a setting for dehydrating that means jerky of all sorts and lots of dehydrated fruit. I love apricots and walnuts.

Alone I can’t eat more then 3-5 cups of walnuts a day, that is along with my usual 3 eggs 4 egg whites, oatmeal, 3-5 chicken breasts, 1-3 peices of steak, 2-4 bannanas, 2-3 apples, a salad or two,2-3 protein shakes with 3 scoops of protein and 1 1/2 cups oatmeal, 1/2-1 tub 16 oz tub cottage cheese, 3-6 tables spoons of pb (they just get in there somewhere), and whatever other things I end up eating. However, with the appricots mixed in to my walnut bag I can almost finish the entire bag throughout a long day.

I’m not a powerlifter year round but I lift like one sometimes. So please allow me to add a few.

When people see or feel the callouses on your hands they are disgusted, and you smile about it.

You have bags of food large enough to feed a supermodel for a month hidden all over your car, job, room, and in most of your pants/jacket pockets.

You dont’ feel it was a good day diet wise if you aren’t AT LEAST 5 LBS HEAVIER THEN WHEN YOU WOKE UP!

This really was a great list. Thanks for the bump

HAHA, excellent thread.

-MAtt