Yet Another Girl Question

FrankCastle · August 20, 2014, 4:59pm

[quote]angry chicken wrote:
If you knew her for such a long time and didn’t make a move, she had already put you in the “will not fuck” category in her little brain. Once you are in THAT box, it’s hard to get out. You didn’t do anything “wrong”, the only mistake “attraction-wise” was waiting so long to express interest - but you kinda had to do that because of the job dynamic. No harm, no foul there - I don’t see any obvious mistakes.[/quote]

Thanks man, I always enjoy your girl advice. She did tell me about some good TV shows like Hannibal and Penny Dreadful so it wasn’t a complete waste of time.

FrankCastle · August 20, 2014, 5:01pm

[quote]Rockscar wrote:
Never date a chick you work with. Disaster avoided, be thankful. edit…“worked with”. Sorry dude, comprehension fail. [/quote]

No problem, its has to be tough to read with those dark sunglasses on.

orion · August 20, 2014, 5:46pm

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]xXSeraphimXx wrote:
She was kidnapped. Probably dead now.[/quote]
Yeah when a girl goes MIA, I just assume she got rekt.[/quote]

Well, had she somehow managed to be in a gangbang it would have been all over twitter.

chillain · August 20, 2014, 7:54pm

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
She flaked. Girls do that.[/quote]

While this is certainly true, I think it’s an unhelpful mindset to have.

Nowadays (with smartphones everywhere), exchanging numbers just doesn’t mean a whole lot, if anything. Heck, even suggestive back-and-forth txting is often for entertainment more than anything else.

So adjust expectations, accept that this is the new normal, and benefit from it.

-edited-

strungoutboy21 · August 20, 2014, 9:29pm

[quote]chillain wrote:

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
She flaked. Girls do that.[/quote]

While this is certainly true, I think it’s an unhelpful mindset to have.

Nowadays (with smartphones everywhere), exchanging numbers just doesn’t mean a whole lot, if anything. Heck, even suggestive back-and-forth txting is often for entertainment more than anything else.

So adjust expectations, accept that this is the new normal, and benefit from it.

-edited-
[/quote]
I must admit growing up before there were cellphones and texting, it was completely different when you were trying to date or go out with a girl. It was an adjustment for me because I was use to just calling the girl and now it’s like you can’t call anymore and you just text. Then sometimes a fifteen minute conversation on the phone gets drawn out to like two hours of texting. I sound like an old man, haha.

SonOfWolf · August 20, 2014, 9:56pm

[quote]FrankCastle wrote:
Okay, here’s the story: I worked with this girl for a while, about a year and a half. We spent a lot of time talking about random stuff, books, tv, movies, nothing too deep. We seemed to get along well, her laughing at my jokes etc. Anyway, she quits the job so I make my move. I ask for her number and she instantly puts it in my phone. Then I ask if she wants to go out the following week and she says yes. So, the night before we were supposed to go out, she texts to cancel. I ask if she’d like to reschedule, no response. This has been week ago so I’ve already deleted her number, I was just wondering if anyone had any insight as to what the hell changed?[/quote]

So you could only ask her for a date after 1 year and a half, when she lost her job?Pretty pathetic if you ask me, she must have smelled the beta in you.

Stinkfist · August 20, 2014, 10:33pm

[quote]SonOfWolf wrote:

[quote]FrankCastle wrote:
Okay, here’s the story: I worked with this girl for a while, about a year and a half. We spent a lot of time talking about random stuff, books, tv, movies, nothing too deep. We seemed to get along well, her laughing at my jokes etc. Anyway, she quits the job so I make my move. I ask for her number and she instantly puts it in my phone. Then I ask if she wants to go out the following week and she says yes. So, the night before we were supposed to go out, she texts to cancel. I ask if she’d like to reschedule, no response. This has been week ago so I’ve already deleted her number, I was just wondering if anyone had any insight as to what the hell changed?[/quote]

So you could only ask her for a date after 1 year and a half, when she lost her job?Pretty pathetic if you ask me, she must have smelled the beta in you.[/quote]

He was her supervisor.

spar4tee · August 21, 2014, 12:11am

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]RuntPuppyOfWolf wrote:

So you could only ask her for a date after 1 year and a half, when she lost her job?Pretty pathetic if you ask me, she must have smelled the beta in you.[/quote]

This coming from the kid whining about his ma and pasta?[/quote]
lol

tsantos · August 21, 2014, 1:23am

[quote]SonOfWolf wrote:

[quote]FrankCastle wrote:
Okay, here’s the story: I worked with this girl for a while, about a year and a half. We spent a lot of time talking about random stuff, books, tv, movies, nothing too deep. We seemed to get along well, her laughing at my jokes etc. Anyway, she quits the job so I make my move. I ask for her number and she instantly puts it in my phone. Then I ask if she wants to go out the following week and she says yes. So, the night before we were supposed to go out, she texts to cancel. I ask if she’d like to reschedule, no response. This has been week ago so I’ve already deleted her number, I was just wondering if anyone had any insight as to what the hell changed?[/quote]

So you could only ask her for a date after 1 year and a half, when she lost her job?Pretty pathetic if you ask me, she must have smelled the beta in you.[/quote]

This is like a leaner driver telling Sebastian Vettel his driving is shizen.

marrot · August 21, 2014, 2:34am

Bro do you even get flaked?

I am currently getting dead silence from girls that have said word for word the following to/about me:

(Not bragging)

“He looks like a model…[to friend, about me, with me directly nearby]”

“Oh my god, you HAVE to give me your number…”
“Only if you PROMISE to call or text.” (me)
“Yes I PROMISE!”

“Now I know for sure you do this all the time. Where did you learn to give head like that?”

“Do you want my number? Maybe we can workout together sometime.”

“How about you give me your number and you can… tutor me some time.”

“ Text me, OK? Don’t forget. Text me.”

“You mean you just say “hey” to strangers to see what’s up sometimes? You know what? You are my kind of guy. Here’s my number, text me some time.”

…I have more of these too if you want to see what kind of texts I’ve gotten.

From my limited experience if you are the one to ask for her number, you might as well find another girl.

FrankCastle · August 21, 2014, 2:40am

[quote]marrot wrote:
Bro do you even get flaked?

I am currently getting dead silence from girls that have said word for word the following to/about me:

(Not bragging)

“He looks like a model…[to friend, about me, with me directly nearby]”

“Oh my god, you HAVE to give me your number…”
“Only if you PROMISE to call or text.” (me)
“Yes I PROMISE!” [/quote]

This blows my mind. Hell, this girl didn’t say anything like to me, guess I shouldn’t be surprised she flaked. I just foolishly thought she’d make a good girlfriend and got my hopes up. Some co-workers suspected she was asexual because she never talked about guys or dating ever, never mentioned a boyfriend, at 24 years old.

Rockscar · August 21, 2014, 2:43am

[quote]FrankCastle wrote:
Some co-workers suspected she was asexual because she never talked about guys or dating ever, never mentioned a boyfriend, at 24 years old.[/quote]

That’s called professionalism and maturity

spar4tee · August 21, 2014, 2:46am

[quote]Rockscar wrote:

[quote]FrankCastle wrote:
Some co-workers suspected she was asexual because she never talked about guys or dating ever, never mentioned a boyfriend, at 24 years old.[/quote]

That’s called professionalism and maturity[/quote]
Agreed. Heard some rather wild shit on the regular at my previous workplace, which was a federal contractor lol. Meanwhile, the startup that I worked at concurrently had much less than that with just four dudes.

Yogi1 · August 21, 2014, 10:40am

[quote]marrot wrote:
Bro do you even get flaked?

I am currently getting dead silence from girls that have said word for word the following to/about me:

(Not bragging)

“He looks like a model…[to friend, about me, with me directly nearby]”

“Oh my god, you HAVE to give me your number…”
“Only if you PROMISE to call or text.” (me)
“Yes I PROMISE!”

“Now I know for sure you do this all the time. Where did you learn to give head like that?”

“Do you want my number? Maybe we can workout together sometime.”

“How about you give me your number and you can… tutor me some time.”

“ Text me, OK? Don’t forget. Text me.”

“You mean you just say “hey” to strangers to see what’s up sometimes? You know what? You are my kind of guy. Here’s my number, text me some time.”

…I have more of these too if you want to see what kind of texts I’ve gotten.

From my limited experience if you are the one to ask for her number, you might as well find another girl.[/quote]

sounds to me like you’re good looking but have the personality of a fence post. They see you, think “man he’s haawt” then once they actually start speaking to you they think “meh”

Your character is a garden. Cultivate it.

Yogi1 · August 21, 2014, 10:41am

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]RuntPuppyOfWolf wrote:

So you could only ask her for a date after 1 year and a half, when she lost her job?Pretty pathetic if you ask me, she must have smelled the beta in you.[/quote]

This coming from the kid whining about his ma and pasta?[/quote]
lol[/quote]

crying that your parents don’t buy you the right stuff is SO ALPHA

angry_chicken · August 21, 2014, 11:31am

[quote]marrot wrote:
Bro do you even get flaked?

I am currently getting dead silence from girls that have said word for word the following to/about me:

(Not bragging)

“He looks like a model…[to friend, about me, with me directly nearby]”

“Oh my god, you HAVE to give me your number…”
“Only if you PROMISE to call or text.” (me)
“Yes I PROMISE!”

“Now I know for sure you do this all the time. Where did you learn to give head like that?”

“Do you want my number? Maybe we can workout together sometime.”

“How about you give me your number and you can… tutor me some time.”

“ Text me, OK? Don’t forget. Text me.”

“You mean you just say “hey” to strangers to see what’s up sometimes? You know what? You are my kind of guy. Here’s my number, text me some time.”

…I have more of these too if you want to see what kind of texts I’ve gotten.

From my limited experience if you are the one to ask for her number, you might as well find another girl.[/quote]

To put this conundrum into “game” vernacular, you are spiking her attraction without building enough comfort which triggers her anti-slut defense mechanism when she is no longer in the moment which leads to buyers remorse…

In other words, SLOW DOWN… Don’t peak the attraction too soon, let it build. Create a vacuum by pulling back a little and “invite” her into YOUR frame. It’s like dancing, you have to LEAD subtly. When you want her to spin, you raise your arm (with proper timing) and create the opportunity for her, it’s an invitation to spin - you don’t twirl her like a top… Same with building attraction and comfort, it’s all about flipping switches in the PROPER ORDER and creating space for her “curiosity” to explore.

It sounds to me like you’re “peaking” too early. If you’re going to do that, you have to bounce her, isolate her and close the deal while you’re in the moment and strike while the iron is hot. If you let it cool without sufficient escalation, she’ll run away (which is what’s happening).

So either (A) escalate quickly after you’ve triggered attraction or (B) dial back the IOI’s and other attraction triggers and pull back a little so that she comes to you.

If you’re a good looking guy, you almost HAVE to dial back the attraction - because attraction is a given (you’re hot and fit into that archetype in her brain). Instead, you have to focus on COMFORT and RAPPORT because you have to undo some of the assumptions about you (in HER mind, you are already a player) and cultivate some mystery.

Dial it back a few notches and see how that works for you.

Uncle_Gabby · August 21, 2014, 1:21pm

[quote]chillain wrote:

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
She flaked. Girls do that.[/quote]

While this is certainly true, I think it’s an unhelpful mindset to have.

Nowadays (with smartphones everywhere), exchanging numbers just doesn’t mean a whole lot, if anything. Heck, even suggestive back-and-forth txting is often for entertainment more than anything else.

So adjust expectations, accept that this is the new normal, and benefit from it.

-edited-
[/quote]

I agree with you, except for the part about it being unhelpful. Saying she flaked is just another way of saying it’s not you it’s her, don’t dwell on it. Even though he made a few mistakes, he was her supervisor and had to be careful.

spar4tee · August 21, 2014, 5:07pm

[quote]angry chicken wrote: