T Nation

Would You Rather Fight 20 Polar Bears the Size of Geese or 1 Goose the Size of a Polar Bear?

Read your whole post in Groundskeeper Willie’s voice and it was the most appropriate thing ever.

1 Like

Agreed. Rip the fucker’s intestines out!


I’ll be the yeti cooler. It’s safe :hugs:. Grizzly bear proof ya know

I don’t think an ill tempered polar bear sized goose would be that hard to kill. It doesn’t have claws, doesn’t have spurs, doesn’t have teeth, and doesn’t have hands, it’s just a big dumb asshole.


But it does have a bad ass attitude, a large beak, and an enormous wingspan!

1 Like



And now make it this big:


1 Like


When my boy was little he started chasing geese at a park. I told him they’d try kill him but he didn’t listen. I’ve always been a fan of letting things play out. They packed up and chased him through the park. His only escape was to climb a light pole which they had surrounded. I did like any good dad would, laughed and took pictures.


Haha There used to be a pond with a family of geese at the university I studied as an undergrad.

I’d go have lunch there a few times a week to watch the male goose chase down innocent passersby - it was hilarious stuff.

1 Like

Relevant question: how large are the teeth and claws of a goose sized polar bear?

1 Like

Geese are assholes and seem to have no fear whatsoever.

But I honestly think a large crosffit/strongman competitor could have a lucky chance against a polar bear sized goose.

Me though? Nope. I doubt I can even beat a regular sized goose without taking a beating in return.

Honestly think I’d have a better chance with the little polar bears. A goose only weighs like 10 lbs. so that’s like a polar bear the size of a cat. I mean, yeah, you’d get really fucked up, but pretty much every punch or kick you throw is gonna kill/incapacitate a bear. If you snort a bunch of cocaine, go absolute ape shit and turn the opening exchange into a polar bear slaughter house, the fight will get easier as their numbers thin. Plus when the little cat sized polar bears see a massive, coked out giant Literally curb stomping their friends heads into mush, ripping them in half and then beating other bears to death with lifeless corpse of the one he just ripped in half, they might say “… yeah… fuck that” and dip.


Yeah, I never understood this. I wouldn’t think twice about fuckin up a goose they came at me with that asshole goose shit. Unless he’s the size of a polar bear of course lol

1 Like

This will not end well for you.

A goose may be light, but they’re actually pretty big. Google says a Canadian Goose (the only goose I’ve ever seen in person, so the only goose that I can think about) is about 2.5-3.6ft. They’re light because of hollow bones.

A polar bear will not have hollow bones. They’ll be considerably heavier than 10lb. As others have said, you’d basically be fighting bears the size of a moderately sized dog.

flappinit are you from Manitoba?

I think you overestimate the actual dangerousness of a goose lol.

I have a shit ton of Canadian geese around where I live. Where do you live where they’re as big as a mid-sized dog? Lol