Worst or Weirdest Christmas Presents

[quote]tom63 wrote:
My sister gave my dad a boomerang one eyar, then a kaleidoscope the next. I bought him a Mag lite flashlight one year and a snakelight the next.[/quote]

The logical progression would be a fleshlight for next year.

I got a huge lump of coal one year. Not as funny as you’d expect.

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
When I was 8 or so my grandparents got me a backpack, which they put in a cereal box and re-glued, then wrapped up as a gift.

Very clever, but I was happy as hell to get a box of Lucky Charms. With 3 older brothers and 1 older sister, a whole box of cereal to yourself would be a true Christmas miracle. I bust it open looking forward to a sugar induced nirvana and there is a stinking back pack. Practical, yes. Magically Delicious, NO.

I was disappoint.

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That’s an awesome story. I loved lucky charms so much.

I did that to my oldest brother unwittingly when I was a teenager and used an empty case of beer to hold a lousy sweater. He was like “RIGHT ON!!!” and then “oh. thanks”

[quote]silverblood wrote:

I think I’ll get her the fart filters for her birthday. or maybe the Razorba back shaver. I can’t think of anything worse than those damn fish[/quote]

Small condoms AND anal bleaching cream!

All my prayers have been answered!

[quote]debraD wrote:
On topic:

http://whydidyoubuymethat.com/

[/quote]

framed photo of david haselhoff with two kittens FTW

Im a University of Texas fan, my late mother-in-law bought me for Christmas one year a dancing Santa dressed in A&M gear. She also bought her grandkids picture frames from Cracker Barrell with a picture of herself in it. Strange woman.

My Dad got me a bag of almonds last year.
A few years ago my wife got a jean jacket with a giant eagle on the back all blinged out in sequeens.
A buddy gets Oreo’s every year from his grandmother, he hates Oreo’s. Same dude got cheese whiz and Looney Tunes collector glasses from Hardees from his parents.

My aunt sent us hollowed out ostrich eggs one year. They arrived broken into a million pieces and my father decided to crazy glue them back together. Kept him busy for a long time, so I guess it was better they arrived broken.

all of the worst presents i’ve gotten were from my great-grandmother, who has now passed.

Gifts included: used underwear given in a ziplock bag, toy indians made of wood when i was 17, a pink woman’s shirt, and many others that I can’t think of.

[quote]debraD wrote:
On topic:

http://whydidyoubuymethat.com/

[/quote]

Lol, love the portugal peen.
We indeed produce a lot of that kind of stuff… don’t know why, though…

On a side note, I work at a general store, and we wrap stuff up for people if they want to, and just today an old lady asked us to wrap a pineapple… now that’s a cool gift someone’s gonna get!

I’d say the worst Christmas gift is the time I got chlamydia. I’m not even fucking around. I was 19 or 20, came home for Christmas and ended up banging this chick I went to high school with who I’d obsessed over for four straight years. But she was a prude and wouldn’t fuck anyone. People called her The Kissing Whore.

Well, apparently while I was away at college she turned into A Plain Old Whore, because we went out on a date and then fucked like rattlesnakes in heat back in her parents’ poolhouse. I didn’t even think about what horrific personality changes and physical ailments had accompanied what was apparently a groundbreaking reversal in sexual attitude since the last time I saw her about a year earlier.

She literally calls me up the next day accusing me of infecting her with some God-forsaken plague that I had brought back from Chico with me. I was totally incredulous and demanded that she describe the symptoms to me since she hadn’t been to the doctor yet and I wasn’t going to take that shit from her without doing a little research first. She said she was “oozing this weird shit out of” her twat. Keep in mind this is less than 24 hours after I fucked her and it’s Christmas Eve.

So I did a little research and noticed that literally every STD takes at least a couple of days for symptoms to show. In women, chlamydia could take forever before symptoms show up. So I knew that it wasn’t from me and that she must have fucked some dude with it a few days or so earlier, maybe even way earlier than that. Who knows how many guys she infected with it. I didn’t use a condom because she was on the pill (I know, I know, stupid as hell but condoms are for sailors) so I knew I was gonna get it. Had to take some doxy something or other for two weeks before I was completely cured.

The second worst gift was probably the Lego set I got from my uncle. I was 17.

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
I got a huge lump of coal one year. Not as funny as you’d expect. [/quote]

Actually that was my shit in your stocking. But to each their own.

hahaha Jon!

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
The second worst gift was probably the Lego set I got from my uncle. I was 17.[/quote]

Excuse me but there is no age limit on lego.

I repeatedly asked my mom to get me a Mindstorms set when I was in my late twenties and she would not do it because she didn’t approve of it and I had to buy my own damn kit. Instead she gave me 3x the value in clothes and make-up that went right into the goodwill bin. Not to sound ungrateful either but when someone says “What do you want?” the response shouldn’t be, “okay other than that thing that I don’t like…” SHE BOUGHT MY BROTHER ONE THE NEXT YEAR. Grrrr.

[quote]debraD wrote:
hahaha Jon!

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
The second worst gift was probably the Lego set I got from my uncle. I was 17.[/quote]

Excuse me but there is no age limit on lego.

I repeatedly asked my mom to get me a Mindstorms set when I was in my late twenties and she would not do it because she didn’t approve of it and I had to buy my own damn kit. Instead she gave me 3x the value in clothes and make-up that went right into the goodwill bin. Not to sound ungrateful either but when someone says “What do you want?” the response shouldn’t be, “okay other than that thing that I don’t like…” SHE BOUGHT MY BROTHER ONE THE NEXT YEAR. Grrrr.
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I agree with the Lego/age limit thing (or lack thereof) to a certain extent. BUT, I feel that there is no age limit for buying yourself Legos in any and all shapes, sizes and colors. But there is certainly an age limit determining when it is and is not appropriate to buy someone else Legos as a gift, unless the person receiving them has made it clear that they would enjoy Legos as a gift. I made no such statement to my uncle.

Besides, I already had a 5 gallon bucket full of them.

OP- What did you say to your sister about the puffer fish? When I first clicked on the thread I was thinking “Truthfully I’d kind of enjoy live puffer fish” and then cracked up upon reading the whole story.