T Nation

Worst Dating Moments Ever


#1

Ok guys, here's a chance to share some of your worst dating moments ever.
I was spending time with this girl the other day and she decided to go pick up some brandy (that shit is nasty btw). so fast forward about 2 hours, I've only had like 3 drinks, she has drank probably half of the bottle. So we are having a conversation about the movie that was playing (at least I was trying to have a conversation, she was really hammered) when all of a sudden sher turns towards me, and spews all over my stomach and couch.

Nastiest shit ever, needless to say I made her go sit in the bathtub while I cleaned up, and haven't spoken to her since......I feel rather tramautized by that event too........freaking drunk chicks man


#2

Vomit is an aphrodsiac in my house.


#3

Hahaha I guess that would axplain ur screenname......lmao


#4

Took a very busty (enhanced of course) stripper to dinner at a comedy club. She drank 4 or 5 glasses of champagne while we were waiting for dinner, then switched to bourbon and coke. She was hammered as fuck by the time the headliner came on. We were sitting at a table directly in front of the stage, and she was wearing a dress that didn't leave a whole lot to the imagination.

So the headliner starts teasing her a little because he was doing a bit about boob jobs or something, and she fucking loses her mind on the dude. She started screaming, throwing shit at him, the works. I was sitting there stunned, as the whole thing escalated out of control in about 20 seconds. I literally had to drag her out of there before security got her.

I guess that's what happens when you try to date a girl with no class.


#5

Did you at least get to do the deed after all of that nonsense?


#6

It's a bad sign when I'm too interested in what the movie was to laugh at the story, isn't it?


#7

hahaha ya it is, it was pulp fiction


#8

Knew it, my critic sense was tingling. I'd imagine even chicks drifting in and out of consciousness would appreciate that film, maybe even especially, but I've yet to run a thesis.


#9

let me know once you've finished your thesis so i can give it my expert opinion


#10

I have a while yet, I still have to send my control group through a Wes Anderson and David Lynch marathon.

So did you still watch the movie or was the moment entirely ruined by this wine-infused vomit smell on your couch? If it's any consolation, I tried Cognac a couple of times and I've no idea how anyone can handle that vile shit with any regularity.


#11

I used to have a bad habit of stuffing trash and other things in my couch coushins.. Lazy and disgusting I know

Went out to a movie with, second date, and came back home. My little cousin and my older brother were watching TV so we hung out for a bit with them. My little cousin comes up and sits on the couch with me. Definitley can't hurt right? Next thing I hear him say "Whoaa and M&M!" and there he is pulling M&Ms out of the couch coushins and eating them. Next thing I know he is tearing my couch apart finding loose change and other little trinkets saying "Man there is all kinds of stuff in here!"

I couldn't help but start laughing. My little cousin had no idea how bad he cock blocked me, he was just damn excited to find some change and candy. I figured this girl would not want anything to do with me after that but suprisingly it was not a deal breaker. I don't stuff trash in my coushins anymore.

A few weeks ago while at work I received a text from my girlfriend. "I just spent 20 minutes scrubbing dry burgers from the couch coushins.."


#12

LOVE the thread idea. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I haven't had any really awful moments haha but am looking forward to hearing others'


#13

Actually she only got it on a couple of the pillows on the couch, so i just threw them in the wash and hoped in the showqer really quick to wash it off of me. then i finished the movie while she lay in the tub (my roommate walked into the bathroom and goes "wtf! why is there a passed out drunk chick in the tub!?"


#14

Dry burgers? ya you need to explain that one.....and if she had been mad or grossed out about the candy in the cushions, just tell her you did it for your little cousin. You wanted to do something fun for him and you knew he would enjoy a couch based treasure hunt (gotta make it seem like it was a selfless act lmao)


#15

OK

I meet this girl and she has blonde hair, blue eyes, 5'11, nice body c cups. I dunno her very well and we decide to have dinner one night. So I pick her up at her place in another city. Dinner is going well. She seems fun and likes to talk about sex and is flirty. I am like wow cool chick. Then we leave and we get back to her place and she invites me in. When she says I can talk with dead people. I am thinking she is joking but she is not. She tells me this little girl who is dead and she was murdered by her dad. Lives at her house and talks with her. I left shortly after that and never spoke with her again.

One more...

I use to do lots of martial arts and teach it and stuff. So one night after classes were out we all see this guy in my townhouse complex trying to peak in this girls window. He is all suspious looking and and acting sketchy. So we decide to ask him what he is doing after a min of watching him. He stutters and shit and takes off running.

So one day a year or so later, I am on POF and I get a msg from this girl saying how she knew me. She is not the prettiest girl but not the ugliest either. We lived near each other and she wanted to say thanks for chasing off her abusive ex-bf. So we made a date and she said she LOVES cake. So I bring a cake being a nice guy. We watch movie and we cuddled a bit on the couch. Great little date night.

She invites me over a couple days later. She txt's me and says just walk in its open. So I do. I talk off my coat and shoes and walk in. On her big screen TV porn is playing. And not the kind chicks normally watch ..like hard core Rocco style porn. She comes down stairs wearing a bathrobe and opens it up and she is wearing panties and a bra and says I wanna thank you. One of the best nights of sex I ever had. She did it all. I was amazed.

So we are talking on the phone and I tell her I am going nutz living at my dad's place paying off debts. And don't think anything of it. She invites me over again. I am thinking well why not. Good sex not going to turn it down. So I get there this time she is already started. So I jump on in and its just as good as before. And then after she says I have a surprise for you.

She takes me down stairs and says I can have the basement at her place to live in with my daughter. No expectations, no rent. Just live there. And if I want, I can have sex with her. She only knows me from a couple txt's, a date and one sexual encounter. WTF I said no I need to stay with my dad just a bit longer and I will have my own place.

So I decide to cool it with her and next thing I know she is following me every where I go. Emails me naked pics(very extreme). She breaks into my email an my POF account and locks them out. Tells me I need to have sex with her again to gain access back to my email. The girl is wacko. I ended up getting my stuff back. She went and got counseling. Actually I still talk with her and she is getting married very soon. LOL


#16

dirtman, that was a fucking awesome story! Thanks for the laughs.


#17

both of those are very epic, but holding your email hostage with a sex ransom is freaking insaely awesome yet creepily terrifying


#18

I have a couple more girls I have dated that are really fucked up. But that would take a long time to explain :slight_smile:


#19

LOL


#20

What is this dating you speak of?