T Nation

World's Outlook?

[quote]polo77j wrote:
So … you’re against people giving her advice who know more about the situation than just some paragraph typed out on some message board but are in here looking for advice by giving us some quick snippet of your life and relationship? Seems kind of odd … what exactly are you looking for from this thread?

Do you really want advice or do you want us to verify what you’ve been thinking all along? Since you’re 20 I’m going to assume the latter. I’ll tell ya what … there is no formula to life. The only thing I’ve noticed that seems to work in most situations is to work hard at what makes you happy. Unless what makes you happy is punching babies … then I’d suggest go seek psychiatric assistance.[/quote]

The point of the thread was to see if anyone has experienced things of such negativity like this for no reason. To see if it’s just people we know or what. I just don’t understand why or how personally. And what I told you is to the same extent that they know about the relationship. I know I did a horrible job at relaying this though…

[quote]cstratton2 wrote:

[quote]kjmont wrote:

[quote]four60 wrote:

[quote]kjmont wrote:
Rant warning:
I haven’t really been on this earth for very long since I am only 20, but honestly I don’t get what is it that makes people so “knowledgeable” and cold and detached in relationships.

I have delt with my fair share of problems (deaf in one ear, diabetes, homelessness, poorness, almost losing the house, being molested as a child, severe diabetic related illnesses, psychotic house hold, and alot more), came out on top everytime.

I am currently in a relationship with a girl and go through this relationship with the mindest that we’ll be together til death to us part or until life says otherwise. And yet literally every other person that gives her advice about life when one of the things listed kicks up every few months basically say its cool to ditch and run because you wont be with this guy anyway.

Has anyone else have experience with this and input on this? Because my honest hot head reaction is to go to the guys and tell them to keep their nose out of our business because they are putting ideas in her head.[/quote]

Your issue is with HER not THEM. No matter how “Hot your Head” is you will never be able to stop the world from giving her advice. If she is listening to them more than you then Thats your real problem.

If she wants to believe the worst in you then you must decide is that a person worth your time.
[/quote]

I know that. And she’s not exactly falling for it but I do understand that even if shes not believing it they are putting ideas in her head. Even I get influenced sometimes when people say things to me.[/quote]

So then don’t even trip about it, You and her are together for a reason, if she acts out of character because of an external influence and really does something messed up… Just mark it off as a loss and move on… I know what you are talking about when you opened this thread because I was EXACTLY like you with my Ex Girlfriend… But we didn’t work out even though I was as faithful as a dog, She just suddenly lost interest… Found out later that she cheated… So thank god I didn’t do till death do us part lol… Bottom line is just keep your wits about you but just be as genuine and open hearted as you can as well… Understand that if it doesn’t work out it just opens you up for the next chick that may be better even if it hurts for a bit… I am dating a new girl now and couldn’t be any happier, And If I was still with my ex I never would have met her…
[/quote]

I came to the same conclusion about it. And I am not saying I am looking for marriage, I am just saying I go in with a mindset that it is not going to end, until it does…than I move on.

Virtually NO ONE who is ‘in-love’ listens to anyone else’s conjecture (true or otherwise) with regards their relationship’s quality/chances of survival. Unless your girl’s mind is more malleable than a baking tray full of cookie do, it’ll be fine.

Fuck your doubters! In time you’ll prove them wrong OR your girl will crumble & you’ll come to realise they did you a favour.

[quote]polo77j wrote:
So … you’re against people giving her advice who know more about the situation than just some paragraph typed out on some message board but are in here looking for advice by giving us some quick snippet of your life and relationship? Seems kind of odd … what exactly are you looking for from this thread?

Do you really want advice or do you want us to verify what you’ve been thinking all along? Since you’re 20 I’m going to assume the latter. I’ll tell ya what … there is no formula to life. The only thing I’ve noticed that seems to work in most situations is to work hard at what makes you happy. Unless what makes you happy is punching babies … then I’d suggest go seek psychiatric assistance.[/quote]

He really might not be getting good advise in his circles. Your last three sentences might be more valuable than anything he gets from home. Seriously, sometimes the people who are the closest are the worst to get advise from.

I’ve got a neighbor who told me some family member of hers was criticizing her parenting. I told her truthfully and objectively that she is a great mother. Some people are critical of anyone who does things differently from them and if they are family they are more likely to speak up about it. People are also highly inclined to apply the baggage from their own lives to the situations other people are in. You get a shit load of that on these forums.

[quote]GorillaMon wrote:
Virtually NO ONE who is ‘in-love’ listens to anyone else’s conjecture (true or otherwise) with regards their relationship’s quality/chances of survival. Unless your girl’s mind is more malleable than a baking tray full of cookie do, it’ll be fine.

Fuck your doubters! In time you’ll prove them wrong OR your girl will crumble & you’ll come to realise they did you a favour. [/quote]

At the end of the day this is pretty much 100 percent truth.

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]polo77j wrote:
So … you’re against people giving her advice who know more about the situation than just some paragraph typed out on some message board but are in here looking for advice by giving us some quick snippet of your life and relationship? Seems kind of odd … what exactly are you looking for from this thread?

Do you really want advice or do you want us to verify what you’ve been thinking all along? Since you’re 20 I’m going to assume the latter. I’ll tell ya what … there is no formula to life. The only thing I’ve noticed that seems to work in most situations is to work hard at what makes you happy. Unless what makes you happy is punching babies … then I’d suggest go seek psychiatric assistance.[/quote]

He really might not be getting good advise in his circles. Your last three sentences might be more valuable than anything he gets from home. Seriously, sometimes the people who are the closest are the worst to get advise from.

[/quote]

I know, and there-in lies the problem … people generally either don’t want real advice, can’t handle real advice, or avoid real advice and just want cheerleaders … Could be why I only have a few close friends that I talk to about things since I know they can and will give tough advice regardless of if it may hurt my feelings or not

I have a family memeber who has surrounded theirself with cheerleaders and it’s led them to make some pretty horrible decisions yet they don’t see them as bad decisions due to the lack of actual real advice … they don’t want real advice and have learned a long time ago (much to my chagrin) to avoid seeking advice from me due to me giving real advice that contradicts their pretty view of their world

[quote]kjmont wrote:
Rant warning:
I haven’t really been on this earth for very long since I am only 20, but honestly I don’t get what is it that makes people so “knowledgeable” and cold and detached in relationships.

I have delt with my fair share of problems (deaf in one ear, diabetes, homelessness, poorness, almost losing the house, being molested as a child, severe diabetic related illnesses, psychotic house hold, and alot more), came out on top everytime.

I am currently in a relationship with a girl and go through this relationship with the mindest that we’ll be together til death to us part or until life says otherwise. And yet literally every other person that gives her advice about life when one of the things listed kicks up every few months basically say its cool to ditch and run because you wont be with this guy anyway.

Has anyone else have experience with this and input on this? Because my honest hot head reaction is to go to the guys and tell them to keep their nose out of our business because they are putting ideas in her head.[/quote]

FWIW, the reason you know what other people are telling this girl is she loves you, but thinks she can do better or is somehow above you, probably because of the various struggles you mentioned.

She’s also subtley disssing you, probably because she is slightly passive aggressive.

Now, she’s probably wrong, but that’s what’s in her mind.

have you tried PIIHP?

that is a relationship-changer!