T Nation

World's Outlook?

Rant warning:
I haven’t really been on this earth for very long since I am only 20, but honestly I don’t get what is it that makes people so “knowledgeable” and cold and detached in relationships.

I have delt with my fair share of problems (deaf in one ear, diabetes, homelessness, poorness, almost losing the house, being molested as a child, severe diabetic related illnesses, psychotic house hold, and alot more), came out on top everytime.

I am currently in a relationship with a girl and go through this relationship with the mindest that we’ll be together til death to us part or until life says otherwise. And yet literally every other person that gives her advice about life when one of the things listed kicks up every few months basically say its cool to ditch and run because you wont be with this guy anyway.

Has anyone else have experience with this and input on this? Because my honest hot head reaction is to go to the guys and tell them to keep their nose out of our business because they are putting ideas in her head.

Always expect the worst.

This way you’re either always right or you’re pleasantly surprised.

But if you expect for the worse, couldn’t it just turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy? I mean damn I am not trying to say my life is hard but I haven’t exactly had it easy and I still don’t thing so negative!

[quote]kjmont wrote:

I am currently in a relationship with a girl and go through this relationship with the mindest that we’ll be together til death to us part or until life says otherwise.
[/quote]

life most likely will say otherwise.

Don’t get too attached to early as in co dependent… Its nice you found a girl you like and that its working out… however make her an addition to you’re life and not the main purpose… Its not about being cold… No one is saying keep emotionally guarded or anything, just expect to have anything happen and focus on enjoying time together now and not worry about the future, regardless of what anyone says to her, if she really digs you she won’t give a shit what they say… hope for the best for you man.

I think you have a great attitude. Hopefully she does too.

[quote]kjmont wrote:
Rant warning:
I haven’t really been on this earth for very long since I am only 20, but honestly I don’t get what is it that makes people so “knowledgeable” and cold and detached in relationships.
[/quote]

Experience, which is something you necessarily do not have.

[quote]Mutu wrote:
Always expect the worst.

This way you’re either always right or you’re pleasantly surprised.[/quote]

QFT

[quote]kjmont wrote:
Rant warning:
I haven’t really been on this earth for very long since I am only 20, but honestly I don’t get what is it that makes people so “knowledgeable” and cold and detached in relationships.

I have delt with my fair share of problems (deaf in one ear, diabetes, homelessness, poorness, almost losing the house, being molested as a child, severe diabetic related illnesses, psychotic house hold, and alot more), came out on top everytime.

I am currently in a relationship with a girl and go through this relationship with the mindest that we’ll be together til death to us part or until life says otherwise. And yet literally every other person that gives her advice about life when one of the things listed kicks up every few months basically say its cool to ditch and run because you wont be with this guy anyway.

Has anyone else have experience with this and input on this? Because my honest hot head reaction is to go to the guys and tell them to keep their nose out of our business because they are putting ideas in her head.[/quote]

Your issue is with HER not THEM. No matter how “Hot your Head” is you will never be able to stop the world from giving her advice. If she is listening to them more than you then Thats your real problem.

If she wants to believe the worst in you then you must decide is that a person worth your time.

[quote]StevenF wrote:

[quote]kjmont wrote:

I am currently in a relationship with a girl and go through this relationship with the mindest that we’ll be together til death to us part or until life says otherwise.
[/quote]

life most likely will say otherwise. [/quote]

If it does it does but so what? Why go through a relationship expecting it to end? I enjoy the ride and if it happens it happens.

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]kjmont wrote:
Rant warning:
I haven’t really been on this earth for very long since I am only 20, but honestly I don’t get what is it that makes people so “knowledgeable” and cold and detached in relationships.
[/quote]

Experience, which is something you necessarily do not have. [/quote]

I may have only had a few relationships under my belt but I’ve faced my fair share of hardship. I’m well aware that shit happens and life doesn’t go the way you planned.

[quote]four60 wrote:

[quote]kjmont wrote:
Rant warning:
I haven’t really been on this earth for very long since I am only 20, but honestly I don’t get what is it that makes people so “knowledgeable” and cold and detached in relationships.

I have delt with my fair share of problems (deaf in one ear, diabetes, homelessness, poorness, almost losing the house, being molested as a child, severe diabetic related illnesses, psychotic house hold, and alot more), came out on top everytime.

I am currently in a relationship with a girl and go through this relationship with the mindest that we’ll be together til death to us part or until life says otherwise. And yet literally every other person that gives her advice about life when one of the things listed kicks up every few months basically say its cool to ditch and run because you wont be with this guy anyway.

Has anyone else have experience with this and input on this? Because my honest hot head reaction is to go to the guys and tell them to keep their nose out of our business because they are putting ideas in her head.[/quote]

Your issue is with HER not THEM. No matter how “Hot your Head” is you will never be able to stop the world from giving her advice. If she is listening to them more than you then Thats your real problem.

If she wants to believe the worst in you then you must decide is that a person worth your time.
[/quote]

I know that. And she’s not exactly falling for it but I do understand that even if shes not believing it they are putting ideas in her head. Even I get influenced sometimes when people say things to me.

[quote]kjmont wrote:
Rant warning:
I haven’t really been on this earth for very long since I am only 20, but honestly I don’t get what is it that makes people so “knowledgeable” and cold and detached in relationships.

I have delt with my fair share of problems (deaf in one ear, diabetes, homelessness, poorness, almost losing the house, being molested as a child, severe diabetic related illnesses, psychotic house hold, and alot more), came out on top everytime.

I am currently in a relationship with a girl and go through this relationship with the mindest that we’ll be together til death to us part or until life says otherwise. And yet literally every other person that gives her advice about life when one of the things listed kicks up every few months basically say its cool to ditch and run because you wont be with this guy anyway.

Has anyone else have experience with this and input on this? Because my honest hot head reaction is to go to the guys and tell them to keep their nose out of our business because they are putting ideas in her head.[/quote]

Based on your past trials and tribulations, these girl problems should be light in comparison. And yes, you being 20 doesn’t help but don’t worry you’ll develop callousness as you get older. I know this because at the age of 45, I just don’t give a shit anymore about what women think about me.

What seems good at 20 doesn’t seem so good at 25.

[quote]kjmont wrote:

[quote]four60 wrote:

[quote]kjmont wrote:
Rant warning:
I haven’t really been on this earth for very long since I am only 20, but honestly I don’t get what is it that makes people so “knowledgeable” and cold and detached in relationships.

I have delt with my fair share of problems (deaf in one ear, diabetes, homelessness, poorness, almost losing the house, being molested as a child, severe diabetic related illnesses, psychotic house hold, and alot more), came out on top everytime.

I am currently in a relationship with a girl and go through this relationship with the mindest that we’ll be together til death to us part or until life says otherwise. And yet literally every other person that gives her advice about life when one of the things listed kicks up every few months basically say its cool to ditch and run because you wont be with this guy anyway.

Has anyone else have experience with this and input on this? Because my honest hot head reaction is to go to the guys and tell them to keep their nose out of our business because they are putting ideas in her head.[/quote]

Your issue is with HER not THEM. No matter how “Hot your Head” is you will never be able to stop the world from giving her advice. If she is listening to them more than you then Thats your real problem.

If she wants to believe the worst in you then you must decide is that a person worth your time.
[/quote]

I know that. And she’s not exactly falling for it but I do understand that even if shes not believing it they are putting ideas in her head. Even I get influenced sometimes when people say things to me.[/quote]

So then don’t even trip about it, You and her are together for a reason, if she acts out of character because of an external influence and really does something messed up… Just mark it off as a loss and move on… I know what you are talking about when you opened this thread because I was EXACTLY like you with my Ex Girlfriend… But we didn’t work out even though I was as faithful as a dog, She just suddenly lost interest… Found out later that she cheated… So thank god I didn’t do till death do us part lol… Bottom line is just keep your wits about you but just be as genuine and open hearted as you can as well… Understand that if it doesn’t work out it just opens you up for the next chick that may be better even if it hurts for a bit… I am dating a new girl now and couldn’t be any happier, And If I was still with my ex I never would have met her…

[quote]cstratton2 wrote:
make her an addition to you’re life and not the main purpose… [/quote]

this ^

[quote]cstratton2 wrote:
But we didn’t work out even though I was as faithful as a dog, She just suddenly lost interest… Found out later that she cheated…
[/quote]

Yeah…

At least you don’t have herpes.

Yet.

[quote]kjmont wrote:

[quote]StevenF wrote:

[quote]kjmont wrote:

I am currently in a relationship with a girl and go through this relationship with the mindest that we’ll be together til death to us part or until life says otherwise.
[/quote]

life most likely will say otherwise. [/quote]

If it does it does but so what? Why go through a relationship expecting it to end? I enjoy the ride and if it happens it happens.[/quote]

Relationships are steady sex without the risk of STDs unless she/he is cheating on the other person.

Most people are in relationships because they’re 1) in need of a steady stream of sex or 2) want to feel needed or dont like being lonely.

There is a 3rd but its down to knowing someone for a while and then getting together because you want them really badly, sex and loneliness doesn’t come into it, which are you?

You’re 20, I’m 28. No way would I have considered serious relationships at 20. Not worth it and anybody who marries at that age will have problems later on.

So … you’re against people giving her advice who know more about the situation than just some paragraph typed out on some message board but are in here looking for advice by giving us some quick snippet of your life and relationship? Seems kind of odd … what exactly are you looking for from this thread?

Do you really want advice or do you want us to verify what you’ve been thinking all along? Since you’re 20 I’m going to assume the latter. I’ll tell ya what … there is no formula to life. The only thing I’ve noticed that seems to work in most situations is to work hard at what makes you happy. Unless what makes you happy is punching babies … then I’d suggest go seek psychiatric assistance.