Sorry, I’ve been on vacation. I meant to respond to your reply.
I’m not sure where you read about these vegetables here at TN, or in what context, but there are men who come here who have orthorexia and body image issues themselves.
AND there are 200 lb men who are trying to temporarily get very lean for a contest. What they do to deplete carbs, manipulate water, or get very lean for a period of a few days has ZERO, and I mean ZERO application to you. If they knew that a 90 lb woman was listening in to their conversations about carb depleting and manipulating water and such, they’d be SHOCKED, and they’d all tell you to please take care of your health and that you’re too thin.
Honestly, those conversations can be dangerous to you. Stay away from threads like that, and also stay away from images of very thin women or those proana sites where other eating disordered people criticize women’s bodies, praise unhealthy thin ideals, and reinforce their illness.
I’ve seen this before where people obsessed with food, or who want to be UBER lean will get fixated, try to adapt contest prep strategies as long term habits, based on what body builders or figure and bikini competitors might do for a few days. That’s very dangerous.
The leaner you are, the more simply eating lunch, or drinking a drink, or needing to pee are going to make your belly round forward a bit.
Fluctuations in how your belly rounds forward is normal. Your waist should swell a bit during the day, and there’s no way to eliminate this if you’re eating and drinking water. It’s simple anatomy and it’s not a problem.
You were 91 pounds in your last thread, and you’re now 100 lbs at 5’5"? Is that correct? If so, congratulations on the progress. Keep going. Looking at the recent picture of your hips and upper thighs, you’re still incredibly thin and frail, by any standard.
I don’t know what your doctor has advised is a healthy weight, but reaching that goal is your first priority.
You have not yet accepted the fact that your perceptions are not accurate. As @Spock81 and others mentioned, your mental picture of yourself is very broken.
Regardless of what a previous boyfriend said to you, you’ve now become the tyrant for yourself. You think you know best, are holding yourself to an impossible ideal, as if you’ll be happy or be worthy of love once you reach it. I know it’s an obsessive compulsive behavior, and even if you recognize that it’s irrational, you’re doing to have to work, work, work, to let it go and move forward. Our minds want to keep circling things, and disrupting these obsessions usually takes therapy. You’re going to need help from a physician and therapist since you can’t trust your own perceptions right now.
BTW, I recently had this conversation with Brute. Thinking you know best is a twisted form of pride. Being discouraged is not humility. It’s being mad or sad that you can’t reach your impossible and unhealthy goal. You need to get really humble, and accept that you need to trust a doctor and therapist to know what is best for your health.
Sincerely, keep gaining weight. Let us know when you’ve been able to put on another 5 pounds. I’m guessing that at 5’5", you need to be at least 110-115 to get out of dangerous territory for your heart, bones, metabolism, hormones. That means that when you were at 90 pounds you’re likely 20-25 pounds underweight. Depending on your bone structure, you may need to be closer to 125 just to get to a good healthy place.
Wishing you the best.
Edited for clarity.