My professor in my bioethics class actually mentioned a way to take out a rapist. He said they’ll usually have one arm around your throat to try and choke you so you can’t make that much noise and to basically be in control. My professor said to grab his junk and just let yourself fall (I guess by bringing your legs up or something). Apparently, they will not be able to hold up your body weight and the pain should have them on floor.
Not sure if this will work though so don’t go around thinking you’re invincible now.
I’ve walked alone through some pretty skeezy areas late at night… Yes, I’m sure I’ve also done the whole ‘look behind me’, pick up my pace, etc. That being said, I can walk towards some guys, be “followed” (aka they are taking the same route) by others and never once question my safety. However, I’ve learned to trust my intuition and if I get that ‘feeling’, I will definitely do my best to get myself into a safer situation.
[quote]905Patrick wrote:
I’ve never been a women and I have never been raped, but all the women I know who have been raped wish it hadn’t happened. Many of them blame themselves in some small way for getting into the situation in the first place. Your friends who are playing it safe will likely never have to come to terms with getting raped. [/quote]
If you can find even one woman who was raped who wished it had happened, I will give you a million dollars.
Just some numbers for you:
1 in 6 women have been victims of rape.
Almost 75% of victims knew their rapist.
That being said, I could take all the precautions I wanted and never EVER walk alone and STILL have to come to terms with being raped.
[quote]905Patrick wrote:
debraD wrote:
905Patrick wrote:
I’ve never been a women and I have never been raped, but all the women I know who have been raped wish it hadn’t happened. Many of them blame themselves in some small way for getting into the situation in the first place. Your friends who are playing it safe will likely never have to come to terms with getting raped.
Gee, I wonder why they would think that?
And you’re wrong. Fearing strange men will not prevent rape.
Fearing and avoiding strange men may prevent them from being raped by those strange men. If it doesn’t prevent it then they absolutely have a reason to fear them.[/quote]
You know that oft quoted witticism about paranoia? It’s supposed to be amusing, but there’s nothing funny about living in fear of something that will likely never happen. Sure, women that have been raped will probably think they would have been better off by being fearful and cautious, but the vast majority of the women OP is talking about who are fearful will never be raped.
If I got struck by lightning, I would probably think I would have been better off by staying indoors all the time. Of course, most people go outside every day of their life and never get hit. Fear is never, ever worth it. Not to end with a cheesy aphorism, but it’s better to die with courage then live in fear.
Anyway, Deb, you’re not crazy. I can’t go along in life thinking that I have to be fearful of 50% of the population.
Okay, well she may be crazy but that’s besides the point :)[/quote]
Hehe
[quote]
We can cower with fear in our homes. We can ensure we never go out unaccompanied. I refuse to live my life in fear all clenched and paranoid. By doing that, the few people who do behave badly, win and we punish all the other men in the world for the actions of others.
I think we need to behave sensibly but I don’t envy the men that are looked at with fear simply because they’re men.[/quote]
I knew the women here would be like minded
[quote]reneeweimer wrote:
I go for walks at night. Sometimes a run… people tell me I’m nuts. I say, “yep.”
I’m not sure why fear seems to be popular. Is it because of fear-based advertising? Maybe the general population gets lured into a habit of worrying? I keep thinking it’s because nobody else wants to go for a walk. Walking appears to be a forgotten art where I live. I got used to walking a lot when I lived in England.
(Shrugs) Statistics indicate that most rapes happen with a person you already know. Experienced that myself, when I was 15. I’m not worried that it will happen when I’m out for a walk. If it does, he’ll have an unpleasant surprise.[/quote]
Renee, my experience is similar. And I tend to think the same way.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels like this. I try not to get annoyed with my friends and co-workers who really do mean well and I really can’t judge them on what their experience has been to make them feel this way but sheeesh just leave me alone already!! I really get tired of it.
The truth is any human being regardless of gender, size, or age could be attacked at any time. Hell, you could be a huge, incredibly strong man and somebody could snipe you while your pumping gas.
Maybe no one should go outside.
Although, it’s probably for the best that your coworker’s wife turned down the job. Because a woman mincing about the streets in the dark exclaiming things like “Oh my! It’s not safe for a woman to be alone out here!” has got to be at least 10 times more likely to be attacked then someone just going about their day and minding their own business.
As for the rape thing, I was raped by someone I knew. If anyone knows several women who live in fear because of rapes that happened years ago, please suggest therapy. Something went very wrong in the healing process and those women need help.
Also, men get raped too. Maybe you shouldn’t go outside either.
[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
I spent years riding the subway in Toronto hoping someone would cop a feel. No luck.
[/quote]
Try the metro in Montreal, you’ll have much better luck.
I don’t do stupid things that could put me in a bad situation and I’m not scared of nothin’.
I have been attacked, it was quite unsuccessful on the attackers behalf. My mother told me to watch my temper, I’m glad I never listened to my mother. If someone bigger and stronger had tried it, well they might get what they were looking for, but he will be injured badly and they’ll be plenty of DNA evidence under my fingernails and in my teeth.
My daughter takes MA and weight trains occasionally, she’s seventeen. The guys at her school fear her.
The problem as I see it is that most people raise their daughters to be victums. Not intentionally, but by telling them of the dangers out there. Instead of preparing them for it.
The average guy out there is a whimp. Most of them have never worked out in their lifes. A thumb in the eye or a serious kick in the sack is a great equalizer.
Most people who are attacked walk like victums. Predators can spot a victum in a glance. They walk scared, act scared, because they are scared. This can be prevented, but you have to want it! That’s the biggest problem.
One has to be able to look out for number one. Counting on others will only get you messed up. I used to be able to pick on my daughter. Now it’s to much like a workout, she fights back big time and I love it!
Comming from my human sexuality class:
Around 80% of rape victims knew their attacker.
So you are significantly more likely to be raped by somebody you know than a stranger.
As long as the woman is not alone in a “bad area”, I think they are pretty safe. Just stay out of the alleys and ghettos after dark. I fear getting robbed in these situations myself.
Not taking a job because it is merely downtown and dark when you would have to arrive seems a bit much.
Not taking a job in those circumstances where you also have lots of crime seems to be the path of wisdom.
Its a bit like taking substantial amounts of money out of an ATM late at night. Most of the time its not an issue but it only has to go wrong once to make you wonder if you should have given it more thought.
Don’t let fear rule your life but an ounce of prevention isn’t a bad idea either.
[quote]JoeGood wrote:
This is really a matter of degrees.
Not taking a job because it is merely downtown and dark when you would have to arrive seems a bit much.
Not taking a job in those circumstances where you also have lots of crime seems to be the path of wisdom.
Its a bit like taking substantial amounts of money out of an ATM late at night. Most of the time its not an issue but it only has to go wrong once to make you wonder if you should have given it more thought.
Don’t let fear rule your life but an ounce of prevention isn’t a bad idea either.
[/quote]
Unfortunately, people assume avoidance is the same as preparation. Not all prevention is equally viable, in a quality of life sense, anyway.
[quote]Miss Parker wrote:
That comment, “oh, my all these men, its just not safe to be a woman alone” would have annoyed the shit out of me, too. It demonstrates an “I’m a helpless victim” mentality. [/quote]
I agree.
Also, as a male, this pisses me off. Deb led on that all the men around were [seemingly] normal functioning members of society all doing normal things, and this woman feels endangered merely because males are around.
The victim mentality on the part of women in my mind is fostered in some degree by the same element of our cultural mindset which doesn’t understand the desire to train for size or strength, demonizes steroid use, etc.
I think that the strength of men and the “testosterone” element, and the ways in which they are different from women, is seen as a thing to be made fun of or vilified. Women who see the male element which is different from femininity in this light don’t understand men and hence the irrational sort of fearful responses like this. That’s my take. I could be wrong, I’m no psych.
There are dangerous people everywhere and in any situation it’s simply responsible to know the dangers and use your head. Not to be paranoid. I live in a dangerous area and I know the dangers but I don’t either obsess over them or go to the opposite extreme of thinking that I’m immune (which I think many girls do). Hopefully if anything were to happen to me I would be able to deal with it with a clear head during and after and not let it affect the rest of my life in a negative way.
And all the women I know who were raped were attacked by someone in their lives e.g. ex-boyfriend.
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
SSC wrote:
I can always tell when walking around campus when a girl is suspicious. Apparently logic doesn’t appeal to them - because just maybe my class is in the same direction as hers. Unless some girl is in the middle of Englewood at two o’clock in the morning, it’s all mental.
Ha! I thought I was the only one. They glance back, then lock their head straight ahead and step up the pace a bit; if they’re wearing a skirt, they will suddenly become self-conscious and hold the hem down, like you’re going to try to disrobe them right there. It never occurs to them that you might just be taking a similar route that you’ve used for the past three years. My reaction varies between amusement and annoyed incredulity.
[/quote]
I like to think that I’m usually pretty sensitive to the needs and concerns of the fairer sex.
I don’t think I’ve ever detected signs of untoward caution when I’ve been walking behind some chick late at night.
That said, if Vicomte and SSC somehow are scary, either I radiate some type oif inner peace or I’m nowhere near as perceptive as I thought. Probably the latter.
