T Nation

Woman question what too doo advise me.

OK here is the situation. I was dating a woman exclusively for a couple months. She told me a while ago that she has a “friend” who is a guy and he will be in her life always not matter what romantic interestes she has. I said "no sweat I have numerous female friends so not a problem for me. I would like to meet him sometime. she says NO you cannot meet him ever. She says she doesn’t want to make him “uncomfortable”. I said if he is a friend why the hell would he be uncomfortable? I would not be uncomfortable meeting any of my female friends lovers?!! She didn’t answer that question she said she will tell me anything I ask about that relationship but I will never be allowed to meet him. So my question, What the hell is that?!

This seems really strange. Most people want all their friends and family to meet the new guy/gal in their life. Doesn’t it make you “uncomfortable” that she does not want you to EVER meet him? What does he have to be uncomfortable about? Also, whose comfort level is more important to her: yours or his? Smells fishy.

Way fishy. Sounds like some kind of past there. Do you trust her? As she done anything malicious before?

Very strange. I don’t think this is really what it seems on the surface. There’s definitely more to the story.

Give her the ultimatum that either you meet the guy or she’s gone. There’s obviously something going on there. Or if you want to have some fun with it and do something immature like I’d probably do, you can begin “hanging out” with and constantly talking about one of your female friends, and then turn the tables on your girlfriend. There’s no better way to get someone to see things your way then to force them into your shoes.

Move on. Dump her. if she thinks so little of your relationship versus hers and his, it isn’t worth it.

She could be telling that to her male “friend” also. I never meet a person who tried to keep their significant other away from there friends or family. Well besides me of course :slight_smile: then again no girlfriend has ever lasted longer 2 months. lol

REASON 1: Maybe her male friend is GAY and she is ashamed of introducing him to you.

REASON 2:Alternatively, (assuming he is gay) she could be worried that he might start hitting on you if he ever saw your manliness.

REASON 3:Maybe, she has told you one thing, and has told him something else about her past (it could be any topic), and she is worried that if you two were to meet up, she'll get caught up in some sort of lie, when you discuss things about her.

REASON 4: He's her imaginary friend.

What i've said is not very constructive at all, but the point here is that it's probably something really simple, and that you're looking too deep into the whole situation.

I don’t know, Knucks, that sounds way weird. If it were me, I’d let it ride for another couple of months, act cool, see what happens. Maybe she’ll change her mind and let you meet him, or maybe you two will break up, in which case the problem is solved.


If that doesn’t happen, though, and in a couple of months you’re still in the same situation… Well, if it were me, I’d have to know. I mean, if she really doesn’t want you two to meet, why the hell did she mention him in the first place? Sounds like some sort of mind-fuck to me. I think that I’d have to at least get a look at the guy, personally. Or maybe a trustworthy mutual friend to scope the situaiton out. But that’s just me.

I say the exact same thing to my girlfriend aswell, and guess why? Doesnt take a genuis to work it out :wink:

Sounds like a bit of a whacko Knucks. Give her a last chance by showing her this thread. If she still says no, drop her for a normal person.

Maybe he’s just really, really, hot and there will be no way you’ll be able to believe she doesn’t want to sleep with him once you meet him.

SPY…why haven’t you found out yet on your own. Doesn’t take much to find out these things. She and this mysterious dude doesn’t live underground do they?

You know, I think its simple. The guy could just be really old and she does not want to get into the whole weird situation. It does sound very strange, however, that she said you could never met him. If you really like her I’d say just watch yourself, and if you don’t like her break up. Why deal with this when you dont want to?

Damn, that’s weird. Sounds to me she might not be telling you the WHOLE story. Damn, why do women drive men crazy? Maybe she had a romantic relationship with this man a while back and now they are just friends and she does not want you to find out they were once together. Maybe he is your best friend. Maybe he looks like the elephant man. Maybe he is hung like a horse and she does not want you to be jealous. Maybe, ahhh who the hell knows!!

Maybe she has multiple personalitys and dresses up as man on the weekends?lol

Maybe it is her husband!!!

I think she may be honking the horn of some married man.

walk away. women are a big enough pain in the ass to begin with. If it wasn’t for sex I would barely deal with them. it’s been my experience that if a woman is acting shady there’s usually a real good reason. Don’t waste your time. She’ll f**k with your head if you let her. Definitely walk…

Or, she could just be trying to be dramatic. It happens.