T Nation

With all this dating ? answer me this

Me and my girl have been going out for over a year, and she still has not given it up. How do I convince her to? She told me it was not b/c she was waiting till she is married, so what should I do? I really love her so i am not going to say put out or get out so I need something a little better than that.

Same thing happened with me and my girl…my suggestion?? Just treat her with respect and don’t pressure her AT ALL! Once she feels “safe and secure” it’ll happen. (And my gfriend is a hard-core catholic)…
Wazoo

Your girlfriend is smart. You shouldn’t have sex in her pussy until you two are ready to have kids.

OK the whopper two cents. If she is still a virgin…I respect her. If she gave it up to someone else before you already…your a friggin idiot. If she is pure…don’t pressure her…respect how much she cares about herself and understand it. My first was with a girl who I dated for a year and a half before we did it…but we had LOTS of fun along the way. I suggest you refine your lovin abilities…get her hot enough…and she will ask you to take it to the next step!

Oh God, I hate to hear this situation. I was in the same thing with my last girlfriend. It was a year and a half before she was ready. And yes, she was a virgin. We did engage in oral sex the entire time we were together. But it took almost a year before she was ready to give me a BJ. So I did a lot of pussing eating. And a year and a half really got to me. Let’s just say it all went to hell, I never want a virgin again, and I’ll never wait that damn long for no one!

As for you, it doesn't sound like she has told you why. I think you should sit down with her and discuss the issue. Don't attack her for it. But talk about her reasons. Let her know that it is something you feel you are ready for, and go over all the different things that you need to be able to handle (std's, pregnancy, emotions, etc). If you love her, she should know that. And you should be patient with her. But like whopper said, if she's not a virgin, you're getting played hard. I mean, sure, people can have a life-style change. But if she was fucking before, and then decided to stop, that's messed up! You're the man for holding out bro.

If you really “love” her, marry her. Seems the common gripe of us guys is finding a woman to marry, who hasn’t been “around” though guys don’t seem to have a problem throwing their leg over anything in a skirt, until they get to the stage of making a mature committment. If your not ready to committ fully to the relationship, accept her stance until you are, or alternatively, go find some cheap easy broad to satisfy “your” needs in a relationship that reflects that level of committment.

Ripped - is she a virgin??? If not, then she’s got some serious issues, get yourselves something like a sexual therapy appointment with someone. Good on ya for stickin’ it out with her too…

Dude, I hate to do this to you, but you need to know the truth so you can move on with your life. This girl does not like you ‘that’ way, and she never will. If she did, she would have had sex with you a long time ago. She probably likes you as a friend. If you’re paying for movies and dinners, hey! even better for her. See where I’m going with this? Odds are, if you two are of legal age and not 11 or something, she’s banging some ither guy. A “Bad Boy.” Move on. She’s not the one for you, trust me. Been there, though I never hung around that long. Peace!

Maybe she had some very negative sexual experiences just before she met you, and she’s gotta sort them out first… [shrug]

if used judiciously, the drinking contest can solve most if not all problems.

hmmm…so even A T-man body doesn’t guarantee that you’ll get laid! sorry if thats a little flippant. So if she’s not waiting until she’s married - which means you already discussed the nil sex issue - and neither are you, and you obviously love her you two need to talk about why she doesn’t want to have sex. A year is loooong time, and you deserve a decent explaination and some respect from her, and if there isn’t any forthcoming, dump her.
Go read the thread on Goldbergs dating difficulties. Hell, he can’t even get his beloved to date him, let alone go out with him for a year(crazy girl!). Build on what ya got.

Personally, I would respect her for this. Sex is and should be a very intimate and bonding act. It shouldn’t be done with just anyone. This shows a lot of character on her part and a respect for her body. The less men the woman I marry has been with, the better. It’s a special thing when a woman saves herself, and it’s worth it in the end. However, I admit, you can get a serious set of blue balls in the meantime.

I look to get laid as much as the next guy. However, If you reall do love her as much as you say you do, then just wait, and don’t make her do something that she is not ready for, or she will never really trust you. Wait, and when it happens you will be happy that she is really ready…I have been in a simular situation, and I really think it is the best way to go.

Ever seen the movie “American Pie”. Show her what an orgasm is and you’ll be on your way to getting some sooner or later. An orgasm is by far the best physical feeling in the world. Once you show her that as well as convince her that you guys are not just “fucking” but making love and sharing a special bond, you will be there my man. Let me know hot it goes. I think my advice is as practical as possible.—jdroks

She is a virgin. So I know it is a big desion for women to make. I do love her more than anything in this world. And Ron Harris, she does love me. I am her first true love. When I first read your message, I thought you might be right, but then I thought back over the past year, and realized she does. Thanks everyone for the response. I will just let it happen when it happens. I don’t want to lose her. Thanks

You are in a bind playboy, see if she’ll let you go down on her that should get her juices flowin’ and into the whole sex thing. If she refuses head, forget about gettin’ any pie slick. Decide how important the sex is(or lack of) to your relationship. If I think of anything else that might get you in it, I’ll let u know. Tomorrow is promised to no one. outlaw.

First of all, how old are you? If you’re like 17-18, I could understand… if you’re over 22, man this is pathetic! If a year of probation is not enough, how long will it take? Do we really have to marry our girlfriends to have sex? Think not! You seem to respect and love her alot, and by what you say, she feels the same for you. I dated a girl that didn’t want to have sex more than 3-4 times a month, and it was boring sex too. I dated that girl for 8 years. Then came that “very good friend” that I banged 2-3 times a week. My relationship with my girlfriend was better because I didn’t look at her like the girl who doesn’t fuck anymore… I didn’t care because I had high quality sex readily available with a t-vixen. The only thing is that I was able to separate love and sex, and not feel guilty about it because T-Men deserve T-Sex. I know it may sound terrible to you, but sexual and psychological stability are closely linked. Don’t let any girl destroy that stability, even if you do love her very much. You can’t force her to have sex. She can’t force you NOT to have sex.

I am 22 and she is 18. Yea I know shut up, it just happened. We do everything but fuck. I go down on her at least once a week usually 3-4. I get head at least 2 and a good hand job from her 1-2 times a week. She just wont let me stick it in. Oh well, I tried the cheating thing and it didn’t work. I couldn’t even get hard, b/c I felt so guilty. Thanks for all the advice.