T Nation

Wiping Ass


Hi Ladies and gents

A couple of questions that i would like to ask.

How do u people wipe your ass? Sitting or standing.
I always though wiping your ass while seated was the easiest way but all the people i have asked say the stand up to wipe?
How bout u guys?

Now the one that has me the most confused is the subject of floaters
Now my workmates sometimes leave a couple of floater's in the toilet.

Now what gets me is there is never any toilet paper on top of the shit so how do the bastards wipe their ass?

I asked them and i just got a blank stare "lol"
Do some people not even wipe their ass?



Maybe some people just don't wipe their asses.




Don't ask.


I sit my naked ass on the carpeting and skooch across the floor like a dog.




I have a friend in college who told me this story:
A bunch of kids were hanging out in their friend's room when they noticed a pair of underwear on the top of the pile. It had the worst racing stripe in underwear history. It wasn't even a strip, it was a horrible blob. It was the roommate of the friend's underwear. So one kid took a hockey stick and snagged the underwear and put it on the roommate's keyboard. hahahhaha


Im going to direct the manufacturers of toilet paper to this disgusting survey


My thoughts are that you should think about something more productive than this 'shit'.



I'm so sad for you right now...


From that survey:

I've never heard of that... downright oc though. Ya learn something new every day.


Hey babe, I didn't write the fucking thing.


hm, 65% of the people in the survey pee sitting down, but only 63% if the responders are women...




I love these questions.

Reason: the flush is powerful enough to suck the toilet paper down, but alas not powerful enough to pull down the floaters, which remain in the bowl -- just long enough for you to find them and be mystified as hell...

Tell your company to install toilets that flush better.


Neither, I stroll over to the neighbors house with the morning paper and shit in his bushes, when I'm done I wipe with his yapping little mutt he calls a dog, something about the way the dog wiggles when I grab him by the scruff of the neck helps to knock off any larger dingle berries.


I go Uni-bun i.e. sitting down and roll up on one check and proceed to cleanse.


I won't touch this thread with a bargepole...


Standing, not sure why, I just do. And when i'm home, the last wipe is with a baby wipe, I keep em by the TP. Makes your butt feel nice and clean.



This does sound quite soothing. Perhaps I will try it.


I ONLY use baby wipes! TP irritates my butt too much and baby wipes do make you feel clean without the friction! :slightly_smiling: