T Nation

Wiping Ass

Hi Ladies and gents

A couple of questions that i would like to ask.

How do u people wipe your ass? Sitting or standing.
I always though wiping your ass while seated was the easiest way but all the people i have asked say the stand up to wipe?
How bout u guys?

Now the one that has me the most confused is the subject of floaters
Now my workmates sometimes leave a couple of floater’s in the toilet.

Now what gets me is there is never any toilet paper on top of the shit so how do the bastards wipe their ass?

I asked them and i just got a blank stare “lol”
Do some people not even wipe their ass?

Thoughts?

Maybe some people just don’t wipe their asses.

TSB

Don’t ask.

I sit my naked ass on the carpeting and skooch across the floor like a dog.

[quote]Do you try to avoid pooping in a public bathroom when other people are there?

Yes: 80%
No: 20% [/quote]

WTF

I have a friend in college who told me this story:
A bunch of kids were hanging out in their friend’s room when they noticed a pair of underwear on the top of the pile. It had the worst racing stripe in underwear history. It wasn’t even a strip, it was a horrible blob. It was the roommate of the friend’s underwear. So one kid took a hockey stick and snagged the underwear and put it on the roommate’s keyboard. hahahhaha

Im going to direct the manufacturers of toilet paper to this disgusting survey

[quote]Mr Orton wrote:
Hi Ladies and gents

A couple of questions that i would like to ask.

How do u people wipe your ass? Sitting or standing.
I always though wiping your ass while seated was the easiest way but all the people i have asked say the stand up to wipe?
How bout u guys?

Now the one that has me the most confused is the subject of floaters
Now my workmates sometimes leave a couple of floater’s in the toilet.

Now what gets me is there is never any toilet paper on top of the shit so how do the bastards wipe their ass?

I asked them and i just got a blank stare “lol”
Do some people not even wipe their ass?

Thoughts?[/quote]

My thoughts are that you should think about something more productive than this ‘shit’.

TSB

[quote]Sabrina wrote:

Don’t ask.[/quote]

I’m so sad for you right now…

From that survey:

I’ve never heard of that… downright oc though. Ya learn something new every day.

[quote]futuredave wrote:
Sabrina wrote:

Don’t ask.

I’m so sad for you right now… [/quote]

Hey babe, I didn’t write the fucking thing.

hm, 65% of the people in the survey pee sitting down, but only 63% if the responders are women…

sitting

[quote]Mr Orton wrote:
Now the one that has me the most confused is the subject of floaters
Now my workmates sometimes leave a couple of floater’s in the toilet.

Now what gets me is there is never any toilet paper on top of the shit so how do the bastards wipe their ass?

I asked them and i just got a blank stare “lol”
Do some people not even wipe their ass?

Thoughts?[/quote]

I love these questions.

Reason: the flush is powerful enough to suck the toilet paper down, but alas not powerful enough to pull down the floaters, which remain in the bowl – just long enough for you to find them and be mystified as hell…

Tell your company to install toilets that flush better.

[quote]Mr Orton wrote:
Hi Ladies and gents

A couple of questions that i would like to ask.

How do u people wipe your ass? Sitting or standing.
I always though wiping your ass while seated was the easiest way but all the people i have asked say the stand up to wipe?
How bout u guys?

Now the one that has me the most confused is the subject of floaters
Now my workmates sometimes leave a couple of floater’s in the toilet.

Now what gets me is there is never any toilet paper on top of the shit so how do the bastards wipe their ass?

I asked them and i just got a blank stare “lol”
Do some people not even wipe their ass?

Thoughts?[/quote]

Neither, I stroll over to the neighbors house with the morning paper and shit in his bushes, when I’m done I wipe with his yapping little mutt he calls a dog, something about the way the dog wiggles when I grab him by the scruff of the neck helps to knock off any larger dingle berries.

I go Uni-bun i.e. sitting down and roll up on one check and proceed to cleanse.

I won’t touch this thread with a bargepole…

Standing, not sure why, I just do. And when i’m home, the last wipe is with a baby wipe, I keep em by the TP. Makes your butt feel nice and clean.

V

[quote]Vegita wrote:
Standing, not sure why, I just do. And when i’m home, the last wipe is with a baby wipe, I keep em by the TP. Makes your butt feel nice and clean.

V[/quote]

This does sound quite soothing. Perhaps I will try it.

I ONLY use baby wipes! TP irritates my butt too much and baby wipes do make you feel clean without the friction! :slight_smile: