T Nation

Will This Lead to a Disorder or Help?


#1

Ok, say a mom does this to a 17 yr old girl.

The daughter has been on/off a diet for years and has been put into Weight Watchers. The girl is maybe 5'7 180 lbs size 10-12.

The mom is constantly on her about the daughter's nutrition and exercising.
Today, the mom pulls the daughter in front of a mirror and pokes at the "chubby" places. And says because the daughter is not following Weight Watchers that she needs to pay the mom back.

Thoughts? I would think this would surely lead to body image issues along with other problems.

Oh yeah, the mom showed the daughter a site where you can see how you'll look if you lose weight.

The same mom has another daughter that is a few years older but (went through somewhat similar experiences, though not as bad as the above), but this daughter seems to have a good grasp on things. Doesn't eat junk, exercises 5x week with weights and cardio. Could lose a few pounds, but nothing major.

So, is this kind of parenting good or bad? I can't help but shake my head and think it's disaster waiting to happen.


#2

right thing, wrong way.


#3

It's bad. That's just an eating disorder waiting to happen.

The standing her in front of a mirror and poking at her made me cringe. If I saw a woman do that to her child in public, I would step in and say something. She's not helping her.


#4

Is all I'm seeing is self esteem and a daughter/mother relationship go strait down the toilet.

Shit like that breaks my heart. The things some people do to the ones they love.

I stopped taking that crap at thirteen. I up and left home, never to return. I show respect to my parents but I do not like them and I really don't care if I ever see them again. Well one down.

That's what miss treating the ones you should be loving can lead to.


#5

That sounds like awful parenting. My dad used to nag me about my weight all the time, I'm just lucky I found T-Nation.


#6

She obviosly means well, the mother probably had parents just like her and it's all she knows. With the information age upon us it still amazes me how people don't go searching for good info on really important things, like raising kids. Heck before I got my last dog I did probably 15 hours of reading internet articles about different dog things, from diet, excercise, to obedience and training.

Because of it I have a well mannered, fun, playful loving healthy dog and it's because I didn't assume I know everything and went to the net where experts give their info away freely. Sure there is some bullcrap stuff on the net, but once you research a few different things, for example research planting a garden. Anyways, once you research a few things, you get a good feeling for what is crap and what is honest people sharing thier experiences.

Allthough at the end of the day what the mother has to realize is that she can give the daughter the information, but since the daughter is a free willed living organism, it's ultimately up to her if she wants to adopt that knowledge into a working lifestyle. Everyday, people choose to be fat. Sure some people just don't know, but most of them know or know they should know, and also know people who could help them, or where to look to help themselves.

Most block that out, grab another serving of donughts and coffe, and then have a monthly breakdown where they promise themselves they are going to change and lose the weight. Well making a decision to lose weight once a month does not trump making a decision to be fat 180 times a month, or approxomately every time they eat. Throw in another 12 if you count making the decision to not work out a minimum of 3x a week.

Perhaps if the mother understood that you can't force someone to do something, and allowed it to be the daughters choice, while giving her the tools and encouragement to succeed, perhaps the daughter would make the choice.

V