[quote]Loose Tool wrote:
Just do it man. You’ve already been through the hard yards with the first 2. The longer you put it off, the worse it will be when you have another screaming little spawn running around.
Plus you’ll be happy that you did it in 25 years time or so.
Keep the little women happy.
Worst advice ever.
Hold your ground man, another child is not going to make your marriage any easier. Two kids are hard enough, make sure you stick up for yourself and don’t get pushed in to doing something you do not want to do.
Totally agree. I had three kids when I had been married 10 years. One day my wife said she wanted a 4th. I asked why. Her response, “I feel as if my life is not complete”. She had a job making $60,00 a year, three healthy boys, a nice house in the suburbs, and a loving (fully employed) husband. I reminded her of all of these things. The response, “I just feel my life isn’t complete”. I didn’t want one. We weren’t as close as we were when we got married. I didn’t like having to compete with the 3 kids for her affection. Having a 4th wouldn’t make it any easier. But, what do you say to a woman who feels that her life is missing something and wants your help fixing it. I gave in and about 9 months later we had a 4th son. To make a long story short, two years after that she had a boob job and an affair, kicked me out of the house, and filed for divorce.
During counseling (which she agreed to only to get me out of the house), she admitted that when we had the conversation about having #4, she no longer loved me. I’d say she withheld a relevant piece of information. When you ask your wife, “why”, be aware that there may be an undisclosed agenda. It’s now 10 years after my 4th son was born. I’m divorced and paying child support. I’ll be paying it for 3 years longer than I otherwise would have had to, as well as an extra 4 years of college. It was an expensive lapse of judgment.
I don’t have any kids nor a wife but my two cents for what it’s worth: you’re in a very precarious situation. You have a kid and you resent your wife for making you cave in, you don’t and your wife resents you for not caving.
Dude that withholding sex is a big red flag for me. You should have sex because it’s something you want to do and you’re attracted to and trust the other person. Now she’s using the shit as a bargaining chip, which is a whore tactic (not saying your wife is a whore).
Let me ask you this: do you REALLY and truly want a kid? If the answer is yes, is the PROMISE of a nut, or multiples, worth you taking care of someone for the next 18 years? Do you all have the finances to take care of another kid?
And shit dude she’s withholding sex now, do you think it’s going to get better once you have another rugrat running around?
You said she’s 35 and that probably explains some of it, her biological clock is probably ticking into the next millennium, and she wants to pop out another baby because her body is telling her to do so. It’s like Mikeyali said, she’s doing this crap to make her happy - instant gratification - then a few years down the line when she’s stressed as hell because of strained finances, relationship, and time, she’s going to start to resent the marriage and start to resent you.
Dude don’t let her emotionally\sexually manipulate you into doing something you don’t want to do.
I seriously hope you’re a troll or something and this isn’t true, because shit like this makes me question whether or not I’ll get married.