Why Men Are Happier Than Woman

[quote]ShutUpAndLift wrote:
smt_007 wrote:

  1. People never stare at our chest when we’re talking to them.

They do, if you’re big enough.

/Sully

Big. Old. Pissed off. Big enough.

[/quote]

Yeah, girls look at big chests and another is at your forearms.

Sure, there’s all those reasons men are happier, but multiple orgasms alone would make me think twice about which sex I’d wanna be. Not that I don’t like my penis. I do! Very much! He loves me too.

What about…

because we die sooner and we like it that way.

I’m showing my wife this list- Very funny stuff!

Thanks for posting it.

  1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

Classic

…Alright mate, what you doin, fancy a beer later

…yeah, ok.

Ok see you are seven.

Ok Bye

Not only that, we can pack several facts and questions into one sentence, I don’t believe woman can do that, bless 'em.

[quote]DiogenestheCynic wrote:
I don’t want to hijack the thread… but they do have all the control over the most important processes in life (sex, ability to have children with practically anyone).

[/quote]

Are you insane?? Pregnancy is one of the primary reasons I’m ecstatic not to be a woman.

[quote]CaptainLogic wrote:
DiogenestheCynic wrote:
I don’t want to hijack the thread… but they do have all the control over the most important processes in life (sex, ability to have children with practically anyone).

Are you insane?? Pregnancy is one of the primary reasons I’m ecstatic not to be a woman.[/quote]

what he said…

[quote]CaptainLogic wrote:

Are you insane?? Pregnancy is one of the primary reasons I’m ecstatic not to be a woman.[/quote]

me too

[quote]smt_007 wrote:
Reading this i see it doesnt apply to metrosexuals…they can go eat a dick.[/quote]

And most metros probably would…

[quote]PSlave wrote:
smt_007 wrote:
Reading this i see it doesnt apply to metrosexuals…they can go eat a dick.

And most metros probably would…[/quote]

Pslave can you enlarge that avatar just a bit? that thing is NOOICCE

Perfect Day for Her vs. Him

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
8:30 Weigh in 2 pounds lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants - open presents, expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner
9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
10:30 Light work out at club with sexy funny personal trainer
11:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry
12:30 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe
12:45 Catch sight of partner’s ex and notice she has gained 17 pounds
1:15 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
3:00 Nap
4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer
4:15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full length mirror
7:00 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers
10:00 Hot shower (alone)
10:50 Carried to bed . . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen)
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM

6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blow job
6:30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7:00 Breakfast: steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by semi-naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler
7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Several beers en-route to airport
8:30 Flight in personal Lear Jet
9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
9:45 Play front nine - 2 under
11:45 Lunch: steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
12:15 Blow job
12:30 Play back nine - 4 under
2:15 Limo back to the airport (several bourbons)
2:30 Fly to Bahamas–nap en-route
3:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot displaying growlers
4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle
5.00 Fly home, massage, and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending over, naturally).
6:45 Shit, Shower and Shave
7:00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated
7:30 Dinner: lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy filet steak followed by ice-cream served on a big pair of tits
9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Havana cigar in front of wall-size TV as you watch football game
9:30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies…some bending over)
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
11:30 A night cap blow job
11:45 In bed alone
11:50 A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room
11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep

[quote]PharmD Pete wrote:
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM

6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blow job
6:30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7:00 Breakfast: steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by semi-naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler
12:15 Blow job

2:15 Limo back to the airport (several bourbons)
2:30 Fly to Bahamas–nap en-route
3:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot displaying growlers

6:45 Shit, Shower and Shave
7:00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated
7:30 Dinner: lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy filet steak followed by ice-cream served on a big pair of tits
9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Havana cigar in front of wall-size TV as you watch football game
9:30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies…some bending over)
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
11:30 A night cap blow job
11:45 In bed alone
11:50 A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room
11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep
[/quote]

LOL

[quote]CaptainLogic wrote:
Are you insane?? Pregnancy is one of the primary reasons I’m ecstatic not to be a woman.[/quote]

AMEN! After witnessing that first hand, no way would I ever want to experience it.

[quote]PharmD Pete wrote:
PSlave wrote:
smt_007 wrote:
Reading this i see it doesnt apply to metrosexuals…they can go eat a dick.

And most metros probably would…

Pslave can you enlarge that avatar just a bit? that thing is NOOICCE[/quote]

You can damn near see HER growler, lol.

[quote]Tank53 wrote:
PharmD Pete wrote:
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM

6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blow job
6:30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7:00 Breakfast: steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by semi-naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler
12:15 Blow job

2:15 Limo back to the airport (several bourbons)
2:30 Fly to Bahamas–nap en-route
3:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot displaying growlers

6:45 Shit, Shower and Shave
7:00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated
7:30 Dinner: lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy filet steak followed by ice-cream served on a big pair of tits
9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Havana cigar in front of wall-size TV as you watch football game
9:30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies…some bending over)
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
11:30 A night cap blow job
11:45 In bed alone
11:50 A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room
11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep

LOL
[/quote]

I second the LOL on this one, especially 11:50.

  1. The house cleans itself while we watch football on Sundays.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Start the day off right eh? HAHA!