T Nation

Why Men Are Happier Than Woman


#1

Why Men Are Happier Than Woman...

  1. We keep our last name.
  2. The garage is all ours.
  3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  4. Chocolate is just another snack.
  5. We can be president.
  6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
  7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
  8. The world is our urinal.
  9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
  10. Same work, more pay.

  11. Wrinkles add character.

  12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
  13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
  14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
  15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
  16. One mood, ALL the time.
  17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  18. We know stuff about tanks.
  19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  20. We can open all our own jars.

  21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

  22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
  23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
  24. Everything on our face stays its original color.
  25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
  27. We almost never have strap problems in public
  28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
  29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
  30. We don't have to shave below our neck.

  31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.

  32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
  33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.
  34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
  35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

#2

I know I would be happier if women did #6.


#3

-We can sit and watch TV with our friends in silence without thinking "he must be mad at me"


#4

Fuck that! Women have boobes!


#5

Funny stuff


#6

Thanks to gyno they cant hold that over us.


#7

What are "boobes"?
lol.

LOL @ the person who said "we can watch a show in silence..."


#8

boobies. its boobies.


#9

Seems more like a liability.

When I was fat, my man-boobs would painfully bounce while descending stairs. Come to think of it, that was a big motivation/marker to quit being fat!


#10

I was thinkin' boobies, but I thought it made me sound to immature. I'll remember that next time.


#11

Reading this i see it doesnt apply to metrosexuals....they can go eat a dick.


#12

I don't want to hijack the thread.. but they do have all the control over the most important processes in life (sex, ability to have children with practically anyone).

Hell, I'd trade "having the garage", etc for that any day of the week.


#13


Something about metros (well, probably the queer voices) causes an autonomous psychophysical reaction - Me burp real loud! Could the shockwaves of a #14 blow their dandy little world apart?

  1. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

This is our duty, men, to save the world for testosterone. Plus, an excuse to enjoy one's masculinity in public and with relish, hahaha... For the children!


#14

i believe the word your looking for is breasticles lol.


#15

Amen brother, we will fight to destroy metros, next time you see one on the street give them a death stare...or point and laugh lol.


#16

Hell, my pecs bounce when I go down stairs, unless I'm flexing them.


#17

Last time I checked, we can have sex and children with anyone too. As far as carrying the child for 9 months, it's something I can do without. More power to them, though.


#18

For some reason, these two ridiculous ones fostered the most laughter from me. A great list, but sneaking these two in there was fun!


#19

I was speaking more to the point about who has more control (power) concerning sex and baby making.


#20

They do, if you're big enough.

/Sully

Big. Old. Pissed off. Big enough.