T Nation

Why Don’t More Women Post?


#44

I was thinking as I crawled to my coffee pot this morning that I need a rest day because I need some MFing sleep, but then I remembered that it’s Thursday and I’m off tomorrow and can sleep in. So yay.

It is hard to stop, though.


#45

I don’t drink caffeine but I used to have a zombie walk to my keurig when I did. MFing sleep what’s that. We had a storm last night and both dogs were so so so smothering. Right now I’m making chocolate chip muffins and banana bread for my husbands morning meeting. Right now I’m feeeding my sourdough…I swear I feed that thing almost as much as me lol. No room in fridge so half a cup of flour twice a day. Just got done making my husband an anti inflammatory smoothie and my tumeric was hiding. Behind my Italian spices…hmmm somebody has been meddling with my spice rack. He is so sore from helping move furniture in his office. This morning I’m doing lower and this afternoon upper. Prolly warmup half mile and half mile cooldown. So, that’ll be a mile of steady state and plan to hit my compounds hard today. Really work on varieties of squats is my goal this am. I love reading new things to try. But for most women’s advice I say ok…let’s kick that up a few notches cuz I want to push til I’m about to die cuz if I wanted to do some of their exercises, I could wear my mascara lol.anyways hope your coffee was good. I was a Starbucks junkie but haven’t been there in 3 years :scream:.


#46

My coffee was awesome - it always is! I’d say advice is helpful maybe half the time, if that, unless you’ve sought it from someone you know has had the kind of success you’re looking for. But even when it’s crap there’s the satisfaction of realizing you know better or are stronger, or whatever.


#47

Good laugh, thnx :). In rl I “just” love getting unsolicited advice. Here I’m looking through stuffand sifting through what I find interesting and worth trying or respond if it’s like”what are you thinking”. It really is tough being a woman and fitting in sometimes. I was the “new” girl at one of my husbands leagues he joined and they were very nice cmon…sit with us…but we’re mind boggling. One woman is looking for a surrogate mother cuz she doesn’t want to damage her body, but the thing that floored me was the nerve of one lady… a good friend that I haven’t seen in like 10 months cuz ya just get busy, but he saw me and was like omg, you look so healthy and great! He said I heard you were healthier, so I had a tank under my sweater and showed off my armor…and this chick said eew why do you want to look like a man…gross! I paused, no reaction than I told her I’m frickin proud of how I look and she rolled her eyes at me. I said, bitch you have some real nerve and the clique said, well this is an over 30 group so you’re not welcome. I said, I’m 38 what’s the frickin problem…I don’t put up with bs and then another one of my friends saw me and I bailed on those whiney bitches. I just really don’t have a bs tolerance anymore. It was so funny. I mean how rude and petty even I am. It’s just so laughable that I let people irritate me at this point in my life and so childish their behavior. I felt like I was in high school haha. Anyways, I realize everything is a learning experience. Making bread pudding atm cuz I made a brioche while I was on speaker phone a couple of days ago. I get bored easily. The dough was so so sticky I wore disposable gloves so when I needed to use my laptop I could slide em off. Think I went through 5 pairs.


#48

You have to learn to let negative comments slide off you, because at the end of the day who cares if someone doesn’t like your body? You do, and that’s what’s important. You also know that you’re working to make it strong and healthy, which will benefit you in the long run. But I mean, even if it were body mods - tattoos or piercings, or whatever - who gives a shit whether people like it? It’s surprising that an adult has the nerve to SAY so - they had no mama to teach them manners?

I read once in an etiquette (manners) book that there are three responses to rude comments, used in sequence as needed:

  1. “I beg your pardon?” Said as if you didn’t hear them. This allows them the chance to go over one more time what they just said, maybe rethink it and retract it or apologize.

  2. “I beg your pardon!” Said with a frown and a tight tone. But still polite words, still an opportunity for them to rethink without it having escalated completely.

  3. “How dare you!” Which may as well be “BITCH YOU JUST CROSSED THE LINE” but won’t sound like that to people listening - it makes clear that you held your shit together and someone else didn’t.

But really, at this point, at 38, you can probably just raise your eyebrows at them and let it go. You’re in the power position and that will become more and more true as you get older but your body continues to look young and fit. As far as looking like a man…you don’t look like any of the men I know in the pic above! You look like a healthy woman. But you’re probably going to have to find a way to manage other women’s insecurity without letting it get to you or leave you with no friends. I downplay it all, personally. Not that I have big guns, but I stand out among women my age. So I’ll say working out is how I stay sane, or whatever. And it’s true to some extent, but seriously? The four miles before work, the time on the rower, the hours tossing and loading and stacking firewood don’t do themselves. I WORK, on purpose. But overweight women who feel badly about themselves don’t need to know I glory in my body and the hard work it takes to maintain it. Why make 'em feel worse than they already do?

Anyway. I’m drinking coffee again. My big sleep-in on my day off was 6:24, but at least I got to decide I was ready to wake up. Now I get to decide my workout and what chores I’m going to do. Usually my husband is home on Friday, but he’ll out of town until late, so a whole day to myself and dinner out with a friend - the only friend I have who’s as serious as I am about working out. We never have time, or make time, or whatever, to hang.


#49

Thanks for the manners advice. I don’t look like a man and should have realized her insecurities. I need to work on not being so defensive and letting things go cuz everyone has their crap to deal with. Thanks and have fun tonight


#50

I actually have taken some time to really get in tune with my body, goals, frustration and resentment in life. Plus I saw my psychiatrist twice in last few weeks and changed meds because they made me “feel” volatile. I’ve been humbled and brought down to a state where I don’t feel like I’m a victim who has to do this or that. I lift because”I” want to be stronger. I don’t do anything for approval seeking behavior anymore. I just have let go of about two tons of baggage while focusing on acceptance and change. I now Know I don’t have to do anything for anyone else (dogs excluded) and my lifting is even more rewarding. Meal prep is more fun. I wanted to check in and say hi and ty. I’m still around, but now I’m living life for me so good morning all


#51

This whole post was terrific to read! Just remember that even if they jab at you about your body, it’s about their insecurities, not about your shortcomings. I think the more you focus on you, the less you’ll care about negativity from others. You’ll be able to find compassion for them. I don’t know any women who don’t struggle with body image stuff.

Favorite quote (have posted it 65 bazillion times here at TN, and maybe already to you):

If I am not for myself, who is for me?
And being for my own self, what am I?
If not now, when? -Hillel the Elder in like 150 BCE


#52

Great quote. It’s tough when you make changes. I didn’t want you guys thinking I bailed and blew you off. I have had a lot of “growing” up to do. I only have so much energy in a day…what do I want to do for just today is how I approach things now. The body is a miraculous thing how it heals itself I realize I have to heal my brain so the rest can come together. It’s a little difficult to admit that I was a validation seeker etc. but you guys gave some excellent advice. Ty and I’m off to take dogs for walk​:grinning::dog:


#53

Hello, I just joined a few days ago after starting T a couple weeks ago. There is very little information available to women that I could find & at the advice of my husband, I came here seeking advice, support, & knowledge. So far I’ve found what I came for.

My thoughts as to why more women don’t post is there just aren’t many registered here as this is primarily a page for men. Lucky for me & the rest of us, there is a spot for the ladies. :slight_smile:


#54

Welcome! Yes, there is awesome info on this site and cool people. I got hyphersensitive and bailed for a bit. Had to get my house in order. I’ve really been doing growing. Instead of my cardio intervals hits I’ve been walking dogs and have been lifting 3 full body workouts a week. I’m content with myself. Welcome :hugs:


#55

Hahaha! Maybe you had low T? I’m kidding! I was pretty sensitive to folks for a while as well. Thankfully the T-therapy seems to working.

I want to get back into my lifting routine but after the car accident, I had to modify a lot. I’m currently looking for a program I can sustain. Do you follow a specific program or is what you do your own routine? Thanks for the warm welcome!


#56

CI vary but have really good genetics. I mix up what I do but usually do some form of something 5-6 days a week. Whether intervals, sprints, tempos, lifting, walking, elliptical, bike…but usually chose two to three as full body workouts. Sorry you’re restricted on what you can do but anything is better than nothing especially if it boosts your self-respect. I try to do what’s best for my body…for instance, I hate avocados but eat them three times a week. My health, not weight, shape or anything other than being the best me I can. So I’ve really become an observer. It is fascinating how some things work for some and not for others. My hobbies also include being a housewife which means cleaning, cooking baking etc. just started making my own sprouted bread, I had been making maple whole wheat. I consider my kitchen a chemistry lab plus saves money and husband can eat at work so home earlier :blush:. Plus playing and taking “care of former” stray dogs. That unconditional love is priceless.


#57

Agreed that doing something is better than nothing. For me, that is also very true. My walks are beneficial if only to maintain sanity & overall health. Not liking avocado, could you swap avo oil into your diet instead? Just a thought.

I am also a housewife & avid cook/baker. I make gourmet toffee regularly & ship nationwide. I also create baked goods for clients with special dietary needs such as low sodium, GF, keto, paleo, low sugar/no sugar. I LOVE to experiment in the kitchen too. Most products turn out well though others turn out into the trash. I’m sure you can relate.

I quit the last gym I was at for 10 years for various reasons & likely stayed as long as I did largely because it’s so close to my house. I’ve researched & found a new (to me) gym that I will start at the beginning of next month. We have family in town so starting this week would be poor planning on my part. I’m also an avid planner. When I’m not baking during the cooler months, I am planning events. Currently, I’m planning an event for Heather w/Heatherland for August. She is a comedian. The show should be good & is already nearly sold out. I’m excited to have something a little different from weddings, reunions, & retreats that I typically plan.


#58

Sorry so long to respond. I workout mostly at home now. My husband has me hooked up in our game room. Yup, I cook for whatever “new fad” my friends have or if honestly into. I find baking ad cooking relaxing…but tn at times tiring. Was thinking of making Cinnabon’s this am but I think I’ll do an upper body workout and have oatmeal with yogurt, berries banana and orange. I was stressed cuz my husband may be gone for most of April for work or maybe even the rest and next quarter. So two days ago I killed my elliptical I had found a…drive of frustration in me that had me look like the ultimate cardio bunny with resistance and incline on highest doing intervals. I used two sweat rags…my poor body but it chilled me out. Do not do this at home lol nah, I recover fast but I swear it felt better than a few shots to take edge off. I don’t drink, but thats the kind of “relief” I felt. Yesterday, I “rested”. My rest days just mean cleaning more lol. Hope you everyone has a good weekend and if kids, a fun one!


#59

yesterday was a very eye opening day for me. I went and got tests taken and couldn’t eat after midnight and tests were taken at 10:40ish. I’m a recovering anorexic so this was a wake up call. I eat small meals every 2-3 hours and eat Greek yogurt with berries, a banana and oatmeal before bed. So, I was beyond starving by the time the nurse was going to take blood. I’ve never felt so hungry in my life. My dr gave me an A plus with weight gain, good BMI, perfect blood pressure, heart rate normal, ekg normal, couldn’t believe muscle mass. Now waiting on blood work and urine sample. The whole experience just made me realize how amazing our bodies are, they really repair themselves with tender love and care! Now it’s time to hit the Iron! No more sleepwalking through life, I feel alive!


#60

This right here? This is the good stuff…well done!


#61

Thanks! Ive really put in a lot of work physically, mentally and emotionally!


#62

HUGE congratulations!!

You look great, and now all the improved health news must feel like quite the victory. WHOOT!!! Happy for you.


#63

Ty I appreciate it! Hope you are well!