T Nation

Why Does the Sun Still Exist?

Something that constantly pisses me off about the world is that no one wants to rally against the sun, probably out of fear that the sun will fucking kill them if they speak against it. I mean the sun has so much fucking power on the world that every single country ignores the horrid implications the sun has on their people.

Have you ever looked at that thing? Have you ever wondered what the hell it is? IT’S A MURDEROUS BALL OF FUCKING FIRE. Seriously, what the hell? We’re worrying about a “genocide” in Sudan when the sun has killed probably trillions of people here on Earth. For example, did you know that the sun kills 11,000 people per year? In the 20th century alone, that would mean that the sun killed 1,100,000 people. Multiply that annual statistic by how many years the Earth has been alive and you get a good idea of what kind of mob-boss fascist the sun really is.

A lot of those fundamentalist sun-worshippers will tell you that the sun is a good thing, and that it helps the Earth and other such things, and that we need it to survive.

How can something that has killed so many fucking people be a good thing? Gee I guess terrorism is only kind of a good thing because it kills only a certain amount of people all the time! Maybe if the terrorists tried harder, they’d be able to help the Earth! The Jewish Genocide was probably somewhere close to being one of the greatest feats of the Earth, look how many people they killed! Good job, Mr. Hitler! Christ, sometimes the stupidity of the human race baffles me, especially with these sun-worshipping faggos.

Not only this, but look at what kind of a torturous fuck the sun is: every year, it goes really cold half-way, then really hot the next. What the fuck kind of bullshit Chinese torture is that? Jesus Christ it’s like the sun was taking tips from various serial killers here, torturing its victims before it eventually kills them.

The sun causes skin cancer, too! When you’re out in the sun for too long, it fucking burns you! How can anything that burns you be good for you? How can anything that gives you cancer be good for you? Look at all the things we know that cause cancer-- we try to shy away from those, even making cancer-free products, yet still we’re here wobbling around like prissy little sun-faggots saying hi to our abusive fathers when in reality we’re being beat the shit out of every night yet don’t want to tell anyone! THE SUN = THAT DUDE

And look at the fucking politicians who completely ignore the issue of the sun. Sure we have Al Gore putting up a red herring of the problem really being the Earth, and not the sun. Yeah buddy, it’s the Earth that’s somehow magically being overheated, and not the sun borring down on us that’s causing the heat! Way to go, Captain Logic.

When are people going to finally realize that the sun is a bad thing for them? Have they just gotten used to the fact that since the sun has been around for so long that clearly it’s a good thing? FUCK THAT. What about slavery, you asshats? That was around for a long time, yet we got rid of that!

God, I fucking hate people. And the sun.

Dont post when you’re stoned.

Don’t worry, in a few years, ok a google years, the super massive black hole sitting in the center of our universe will devour all those nasty suns.

Now rest easy and take the advice that was previously offered and please don’t be stoned.

Amen, brother. And don’t get me started on that water crap… Just think how many people it has killed over the years!

Dihydrogen monoxide is a dangerous beast. We should also rally against it.

-FC

Have you met Headhunter?

You’d like him…

Well, a lot of sunshine brings out the mini-skirts and the bikini-clad babes; so he’s ok by me.

LOL, awesome!

Without the Sun I wouldn’t be able to have rice or a nice tan.

I hope I have shown you the light.

i swear that was the weirdest post i ever read

Since the sun shines out of my ass all you had to do was ask nicely and I would have clenced a little tighter, but since you were so rude about it I am going to let it shine brighter baby!

[quote]helga wrote:
Since the sun shines out of my ass all you had to do was ask nicely and I would have clenced a little tighter, but since you were so rude about it I am going to let it shine brighter baby![/quote]

Please do. The current weather in Canberra is reprehensible.