T Nation

Why Do We Lift..

…when there’s probably a magic pill in the making that will do it for us?

www.micronutra.com/glucofast.html

Apparently there are pills out there that can put a smile on a hispanic woman’s face.

Am I being completely unreasonable for letting the title of the ad bother me? I mean, an excuse for being fat is definitely NOT what someone like me, who wants to lose fat, needs.

I do take pills. Everyday. Those pills are made of cast iron and come in large 45 pounds plates.

You put these pills on a special dispenser called “a bar” and then you take the pills from the floor. Put them back. Take’em up. Put’em back.

For better results, take more pills at a time.

Unfair. Here in the metric world we have 44lb plates. Your plates are more potent than mine.

That might be the worst before & after picture comparison ever.

So if I take this retarded pill, it will change my shirt, change my hair a little bit, change the lighting a smidge, and make me smile?

Too bad I’d still be a fat ass, considering it looks like that ‘amazing success story’ of a woman looks like she lost about 1/2 pound.

Shit, I lose 3-4 pounds just by sleeping every night…

[quote]Bauer97 wrote:
That might be the worst before & after picture comparison ever.[/quote]

Hey, remember. Horizontal lines are slimming. And maybe the second camera adds more weight than the first one.

[quote]Bauer97 wrote:
That might be the worst before & after picture comparison ever.

So if I take this retarded pill, it will change my shirt, change my hair a little bit, change the lighting a smidge, and make me smile?

Too bad I’d still be a fat ass, considering it looks like that ‘amazing success story’ of a woman looks like she lost about 1/2 pound.

Shit, I lose 3-4 pounds just by sleeping every night…[/quote]

Dont forget to change the angle at which youre standing in relation to the camera.

[quote]Bauer97 wrote:
That might be the worst before & after picture comparison ever.

So if I take this retarded pill, it will change my shirt, change my hair a little bit, change the lighting a smidge, and make me smile?

Too bad I’d still be a fat ass, considering it looks like that ‘amazing success story’ of a woman looks like she lost about 1/2 pound.

Shit, I lose 3-4 pounds just by sleeping every night…[/quote]

When I was in South America, there were commercials for body wraps that women are supposed to simply strap themselves into daily. The before and after pics were fucked up. Apparently, there are worse things than just a pill. You could take your date home only to find that upon removal of her tourniquette, she has gained 15" on her waist.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
When I was in South America, there were commercials for body wraps that women are supposed to simply strap themselves into daily. The before and after pics were fucked up. Apparently, there are worse things than just a pill. You could take your date home only to find that upon removal of her tourniquette, she has gained 15" on her waist.[/quote]

I have a buddy in Philly that found that out the hard way. Seriously.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
When I was in South America, there were commercials for body wraps that women are supposed to simply strap themselves into daily. The before and after pics were fucked up. Apparently, there are worse things than just a pill. You could take your date home only to find that upon removal of her tourniquette, she has gained 15" on her waist.[/quote]

They’ve made an industrial version of that… http://www.tubeline.ca/wrapping.php

55% more tension! Order Now!

[quote]Professor X wrote:

When I was in South America, there were commercials for body wraps that women are supposed to simply strap themselves into daily. The before and after pics were fucked up. Apparently, there are worse things than just a pill. You could take your date home only to find that upon removal of her tourniquette, she has gained 15" on her waist.[/quote]

Hmm, perhaps that’s what American girls are attempting to do when they produce that awful ‘muffin-top’ phenomenon.

I guess they just haven’t figured out how to wrap up the top half of their fat asses here in North America…

The pill makes you smile, suck your gut in, and turn a little sideways?

[quote]CBassBeer wrote:
The pill makes you smile, suck your gut in, and turn a little sideways?[/quote]

Better than the pill that makes you repeat everything the people above have posted.

[quote]Kliplemet wrote:

nasty[/quote]

Nasty? Yes.

But absolutely one of the top 5 funniest stories I have ever heard about a hookup.

[quote]Bauer97 wrote:
Professor X wrote:

When I was in South America, there were commercials for body wraps that women are supposed to simply strap themselves into daily. The before and after pics were fucked up. Apparently, there are worse things than just a pill. You could take your date home only to find that upon removal of her tourniquette, she has gained 15" on her waist.

Hmm, perhaps that’s what American girls are attempting to do when they produce that awful ‘muffin-top’ phenomenon.

I guess they just haven’t figured out how to wrap up the top half of their fat asses here in North America…[/quote]

The first time I heard the term Muffin Tops made me crack up. Now it just makes me sick. Chicks with love handles is just not right. And it’s a friggin fad!

[quote]MaloVerde wrote:
Chicks with love handles is just not right.[/quote]

They still qualify as “chicks” ?