I am stealing this response. The panic in people’s eyes while they try to do math will be priceless.
We had practice today and I got to see this guy in action. I could tell in 5 seconds he never sniffed pro ball. He looked more like a crack addict than a baseball player. Realizing the player info I found on line had to be someone else, I asked him about his experience and the independent league team he named was not the one I found so yeah, different guy.
When I got home (an hour ago) I did some deeper digging. I was shocked I couldn’t find an arrest record involving meth but at least I found the one for assault (domestic, so probably his mother) and vandalism. This arrest was was just four months ago.
He had a full size baseball bag full of gear. The type with rollers that can carry a bunch of bats as well as all your other equipment. This is the type of bag someone who is serious about playing has but I couldn’t find any evidence he even played in high school. He may have played JV or even varsity as a junior but he was not named as a senior in the accolades the baseball team gives it’s graduating seniors.
Since high school he moved several times in his home state before moving to Washington. I can’t imagine how that bag full of gear stuck with him for all those moves especially since he is such a shitty player. My best guess is it’s an item he stole to support his meth habit but he got busted for assault before he could sell it. Forced to get off the meth and needing to avoid the risk of selling stolen merchandise, he decided to use the gear to try to relive his Babe Ruth glory years. I know this sounds like a long shot but damn, it’s got to be right.
Bottom line, he turned out to be just another liar.
I wish I could show you all his Facebook page. Disturbing is the best word.
I’m in Taiwan and one time a guy got one of the 16lb (8 kg) dumbbells…set his phone on timer and took a picture of himself mid-curl then put it away.
Holy fuck. He lied about curling the 16lb dbs
I’ve told this story on here before but it’s a good one so I’ll tell it again.
This guy was benching with 225. He saw some friends come in at the other side of the gym so he threw an extra plate on each side then went to greet them. He met them half way and they all made their way back to the bench. It must have been a Monday. He said he was all done and helped them unload the weight so they could warm up.
Technically he didn’t speak a lie but damn, that’s still a lie in my book. One of the most pathetic things I’ve ever seen in a gym too.
In his defence, 8kg is actually nearly 18! lbs.
So I used to work for an international graphic design company, and always heard about this guy who left rift before I got there, that he used to tell outrageous stories. I can’t accurately retell what I was told about him, but I honestly thought everyone was bullshitting me with the stories I heard.
Fastforward to now, I was offered and took a job with my old company’s competitor, and lo and behold, this guy works there now. The stories begin slowly - every time you say something happened to you, he chimes in with some time it happened to him. But then shit goes sideways. He just volunteers crazy stories with no prompts from anyone. He claims his family owns “a million dollar coon hound.” Being from the North and moving down South, hearing anyone talk casually about coon hounds is funny enough, but what? A million dollars? Then he says, the next day, that he was hunting with his hound, and it ran up ahead to a stream, and when he caught sight of it again, a raccoon was on its back, holding its head underwater, attempting to drown said million dollar coon hound. He only had a shotgun with buckshot, and was afraid of hitting the dog, so his response was to break open a buckshot shell, pour the pellets into his hand, load them into a slingshot he had on him, and put three of the pellets through the raccoons head from 50 yards with the slingshot. Boom.
We never say anything at work, just kind of nod and change the subject, except a couple days ago when my boy mentioned that he was 5’10 (he is, I can tell), and this kid says “yeah, I’m 5’9”. I immediately blurted out “bullshit” without thinking, and felt a bit dickish as the kid turned bright red, but I swear to god he’s like 5’4 and almost as wide as he is tall, like a little cream puff. It’s obviously a pathological problem, but it’s really crazy to see it up close.
Yeah I’ve come across a few of them. We call them Fig Jam.
The way they bullshit so earnestly just blows me away.
Sounds like those guys are making you Fig JELLY
…I will see myself out.
I wonder how low you need to go before you get an honest answer.
Nobody says “In high school, I benched 84 plates with a dislocated arm” to the guy who says he has almost reached the big plates.
I make any interested player tryout for my team. Oh, you can’t actually throw the ball without looking like a band kid? See yuh.
Baseball is a giant dick waving contest of look at what I did. It’s probably because you have to be delusional to play a sport where you fail so much.
The best follow up line I have is…
“Oh why not come back to they gym?, You’ll gain it back quick if you had it before”
Their follow up line is usually…
“Too much money (UK Memberships are usualy £25 a month)”
(They would save money by bulking smart and not going to the sandwich van for a £5 meal)
My follow up line is…
“That £275 coat you just bought will get you less pussy than going to the gym”
lol it’s true though all chicks dig muscle, not too much but they like having a strong man not a little girl
These must be weird conversations when you talk to married guys.
Feel like that’s a trend with his conversations…
Also true. I’m going to start using it for all my hobbies.
“Man, you don’t play DnD? I bet you’d be REALLY good at rolling dice. You’d probably get like 6 18s if you tried. You’d be slaying mad Ogres dude.”
Hopefully not mad ogre pussy, though. Unless that’s your thing. Who am I to judge?
How do you think Half-ogres get made dude?
You’re usmccds432, that’s who!