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Why do nice guys always finish last?

I have a serious question…Why do nice guys always finish last? I mean seriously, what the fuck is up with that!? I have a very close friend (girl) who I eventually got into a relationship with. She ended up dumping me for another guy, who played her, he had another girlfriend. So she came back to me apologizing and shit, said we should get back togeather. I really care about her, so i said ok, we were back togeather for like 3 weeks, and she all of a sudden says it isnt working out for her. So we ended everything again and she wants to be freinds still. So I think shes back with this guy (i dont really care, just has to do with the point of this post). This guy is obviously an asshole, Ive treated her the best i could. Ive always been there for her, done all kinds of things for her and i just dont get it. Every one of my other friends (female) say im one of the nicest guys they know blah, blah, blah… So what do you guys/girls think i should do for the future? Im sick of being walked on (guess I was kinda being a pussy too), but im not an asshole by nature. Just be a dick or be myself?

How old are you bro? Cause my answers can vary depending on where you are in life. But since I won’t be back here for a little bit and by that time you will have a billion replies, I will give my interpretation. OK, here goes, you are the ‘rebound guy’ who she goes out with when she realizes that she has made a mistake by going out with an asshole. And when she gets tired of your pussy ass bitch ways of always being there for her and treating her like a princess (which isn’t a bad thing depending on the girl) she goes for the dick head for a change. So you have to find a perfect harmony between niceguyness and assholedom. Or maybe she will be hurt bad enough one of these days down the road or hurt enough times to trully appreciate a ‘nice guy’ like you. I’ll probably think of other stuff later for ya…this is a common theme in our society ect ect. But now I have to go play tennis with friends. Later Bro ~PorchDawg

Everyone’s probably going to point you to the Big Woof in issue 93. You have to be a dick. Get back with her but do the same stuff that asshole does. NEVER phone her, etc.

Yeah, you do everything she says all the time no questions asked. I’m really sure she respects that…

dood I’m in the same boat and so are like 90% of the doods on this planet. Try doing this… be a sarcastic confident/arogant egomaniac in the begining (this only works when you meet new chicks, if chick already knows you she’ll know youre playing) then gradually become a nice guy (kinda like the army deal, you can always be nicer but never meaner, so they jump on your back in the begining) make it seem like its tough for you to do hehe chicks will dig you. They want that challenge. You don’t have to be a jerk, but you can kinda ignore em (even tho we all know you want em). Gradually joke around with the female but keep it short… then go for the kill when opportunity strikes: “uh I love eating/workingout/boating/going to movies” really? me too lets go out together and do whatever, it will be fun"

stay golden

some of us girls finish last too… and for the same or similar reasons. you’ve got to take a stand and let yourself stand up for what you think is right… and don’t take shit from ANYONE and i mean anyone. what you deserve will come to you and you’ll get it when you least expect it.

Most of what Dawg on the Porch said is correct; a lot of it depends on age. I would say that if you’re in your mid to late 20’s or younger, you defintely need to walk a fine line between being a nice guy and not being too nice a guy. Most girls see guys that are too sweet and caring as a sign of weakness (most girls will deny this up and down but it’s 100% true). Girls don’t want to fuck a wimp; and keep in mind that what the average girl tells you she looks for and wants in a guy and what she actually goes for is like night and day. Essentially, all girls have low self esteem. Going after an asshole and changing him into their sweet, loving man will give a girl an unparalled sense of accomplishment (i.e. self esteem booster). However, this rarely works; but you better believe that they’re going to try and keep trying. If a guy is already too nice, there’s simply nothing to fix and they’re not going to be interested. Anyway, enough rambling from me. Chris Shugart wrote a great article about one hundred issues back or so called “Get Laid the Testosterone Way” or something like that. It has a lot of good advice in it and I highly suggest you read it, memorize it and put it into practice. Good luck and remember: G’s up, ho’s down.

You’re correct - nice guys finish last. I have
been absent from TMAG and writing in general
for this very reason. I am going through a
very painful divorce right now and it sucks
bad. Allow me to elucidate further.
I was married for just under 2 years when
my wife (she is 24, I am 33) had a friend
(who is 22) tell her that she is “too young
to be tied down and that there are sooooo
many better guys out there for you (her)”.
So my wife decided to “leave me” and moved
out into an apartment with her 22 year old
friend in the middle of “party land” so she
could go out every night and get wasted or
what have you. I was devastated and would
have done anything and everything to get my
wife back and my marriage on track. My wife’s
idea of me “proving love” was to have me
wait on the sidelines for her, pining away
for 6-9 months while she went out and tried
to (as she put it) “explore who she really
is”. Basically, she wanted to go fuck around
for 6-9 months and if something better than
me came along, she would ace me but if
nothing better came along, she’d come back to
me on “her terms”. Sorry, I don’t like
being made to feel second best and I am not
an insurance policy.

At this point, I want to tell you about what
a good husband I was to this ingrate of
a woman. When I met her, she was dirt poor,
she had to decide between paying for heat
in the winter and buying food. She was in
debt up to her eyeballs. She had nothing.
In a period of 2 years, I bought her a
3,500 SQFT house (4BR, 3BA, 3 car garage,
nice place), a brand new SUV (2001
Honda Passport), a mink coat, a diamond
necklace, a diamond anniversary ring and
I paid off all her debt.

And I got played.

But the story doesn't end here, it get's better because revenge is a dish best served cold.

Before my wife moved out of my house and while I was away on a business trip in December, my wife went out to a party with her little 22 year old slut-whore friend. At this party, my wife decided to snort a lot of coke, smoke a lot of dope and (this is great) have unprotected sex with something like three men whose names she did not know. As luck would have it, one of these men gave her a whopper case of genital herpes and chlamydia. Don't worry, I had not been intimate with my wife in a long time so ole' Brock is not infested with viral nasties.

After my infidelity-adulteress wife was diagnosed with this most painful set of STD's, she decided that her dating prospects were probably...shall we say? a bit on the limited side? And my wife decided she want to "try to work things out, to reconcile her marriage to me and to move back into my house".

I told her I would think about it. And I did. And my response came to her in the form of a summons to Superior Court for a divorce hearing.

Sorry, I can't ever trust that beeeyyyooottcchh ever again. And worse still, the thought of touching that infested whorebag makes my skin crawl.

Time to move on and move up!!!

Since her plan did not work out has she had envisioned and since she learned that her 22 year old trailer park trash friend is no real friend indeed, my wife has gone loopy (well, loopier than she normally is). In fact, I had to get a restraining order against her because she turned into a stalker.

And she is now trying to stall and delay the
divorce with hopes I will “change my mind”
(fat chance of that happening).

So the moral(s) of the story are that sometimes us nice guy (I seriously put this woman on a pedestal, treated her like gold and would have done anything for her) get burned but karma has a warm way of biting people in the ass. Yep, my wife burned me and this whole deal will end up costing me >$50K when all is said and done. But you know what? She will never meet a good man, she'll never meet a man who will treat her like I did and she knows it now. Too bad she had to learn it the hard way.

God punishes the wicked, remember that.

Peace to all of you,


Brock, man, I feel for you. I’ve been through the divorce thing myself (although mine was a lot more amicable than yours seems like it’s gonna be) and it hurts. Don’t know what the T-brethren can do to help you out, but I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say that we’re here for you. Stay strong, bud.

Sorry tp hear that Brock. Glad to see you handled it well. A lesson to guys, be careful, very careful about getting involved with a woman who doesn’t have her shit together.

Brock that really sucks a LOT. Sorry that had to happen to you.

sad story Brock… but has a happy ending, us nice guys even tho overlooked and dumped on do have a great deal of self-esteem, know that we don’t have to take that crap and are smart enough to read between the lies. Now you will be the one who can experiment on your way to finding a more perfect mate. Keep your head up high, you’ve earned it.

Dude, I feel your pain. The problem is that many women say they want all this “nice guy” stuff, but at the same time what they don’t tell you is that being understanding will often get you labeled as a wuss or a pussy(although not to your face – to your face it will be “too nice”). The thing is that most girls really do want someone who will treat them nicely, but they also want a man who they think acts like a man – i.e. he is decisive, he stands up for himself and for her, makes her feel safe, and exudes confidence. The real kicker is this: To an extent, women can get the “understanding” stuff from their girlfriends or from guys they consider only as friends because they are “too nice,” while they don’t think they can get the manly stuff they want from those sources. Therefore, most of them would rather attempt to “train” a manly asshole to be a little more sensitive than go for a nice guy. Add the challenge aspect to it, and you have, IMHO, the reason you see so many girls going for assholes. Not that all girls do it well – some will try rather stupid stuff to “test” you to see if they can get you to do what they want, and even if you could care less about whatever it is they want you to do, if you do it they will lose respect for you. Those girls aren’t worth the effort. The thing is, if the girl is worth having in the first place, you won’t have to turn into an asshole to impress her. Just stand up for yourself, be confident, be decisive, and don’t let a girl walk all over you, and you’ll get a good girl. As for this girl you were describing, cut her off: Don’t call her, don’t talk to her, don’t jump to return her calls, and take other girls out. She might not ever come around, but you’ll be happier anyway. Hope that helps. Peace. Out.

That is some absolutely horrible stuff man. I cannot believe that girl would do that to you, especially after all you did for her. A lot of people aren’t perceptive enough to appreciate the really good things in life if they get them without a struggle – I don’t know if this is true of your ex-wife, but being so young she might have thought there were lots of nice guys like you out there and she could easily just go get another one. That won’t happen. A hard lesson she did not have to learn, but she’ll learn in spades. At least you got to see what she was really all about relatively early on (and hopefully no kids were involved) and get out. Good riddance to bad rubbish. I’m sorry you had to go through such an experience.

Check this out bro, the next time a girl leaves you for another guy or cheats on you and then comes back wanting to work things out. Tell her to go fuck herself, because if she did it once, what the hell is going to keep her from doing it again? People don’t change over night and some people get sucked into something like this thinking they do, and it usually happens to the nice guys/girls becuse we actually give a shit. I know what it is like to be in this situation because I have been there before and it sucks ass. Oh yeah and since she still wants to be friends, do it be friends so then in the future when she comes to you with these kinds of situations asking for help, just listen and laugh your ass off. When you are done laughing, simply reply, " WEll, you should have stayed with me!!!"

Brock, i don’t know you, but i’ll pray for you. you’re a very decent man for what all i know. What comes around goes around. Things happen for a reason. You SHALL have an intelligent, beautiful woman in your near future who will treat and respect you the way you want. Life does work that way.

As far as responding to the original post… dude, i was once a “nice guy”… tell you what, nice guys get freinds. that’s it. if i may suggest, go to doubleyourdating.com… this guy hits it on the head !! sign up for the weekly e-mails and you’ll learn a lot !! i totally blew it about a year and a half ago. i was 30, she was 24. and let me tell you, this chick was ON FIRE !!.. I MEAN COMPLETELY ON FIRE !!..college cheerleader. Man, but i was too nice. (i’ve learned all my mistakes by reading that web site, man to man, i sincerely believe this book will help you.)

that’s the problem with gorgeous women, all men are too nice to them, and they end up with assholes. when will women learn that a nice guy will eventually normal off… but assholes just become bigger assholes.

Brock, I don’t know what to say, but that’s just so sad. I’m pretty cynical with women myself. I sometimes think of a woman like a little child that has a thousand toys and wants the one toy she dosen’t have, like a little child that woman can never be satisfied, and she treats the toys she does have like shit, until she loses the toys she has. Its tough to win …Anyway, I hope things work out, but on the positive side, its much easier to divorce a woman when you don’t have kids because you can go on your own and don’t ever have to see her again. Good luck and keep your head up.

one last thing, I hope you’re right, if there is a God I hope he does punish this woman!

What the hell is everybody complaining about? the solution to this probelm is so simple. If you want a girlfriend that won’t use you as an insurance policy, want every other guy on the planet, and in general be a bitch, just find a butt-ulgy chick that no one else wants. (Remember, like in Shallow Hal, its the “inner beauty” that counts.) It would be the most harmonious relationship you’ve ever had :wink:

Hey guys, thanks for the relpies, you have some great opinions. Ive been thinking since Ive written this post…Ive been thinking I really dont give a fuck, fuck her…Ive ordered 3 bottles of mag-10 and some various other supplements, and worked out a whole routine, ect. Ive decided to say fuck it all, and get my ass into the gym where it belongs. Ill eventually show her what shes missing out on, that will be sweet, I now have some serous motivation. btw, for dawg on the porch, im 20 years old. You guys should see the dude she dumped me for too, holy christ, (about 5’4", maybe 150 lbs, and ugly, i remember she said he was just a physical attraction, lol, no offense to the vertically challenged guys out there, im 6’6") if her taste is that bad…i dunno…but whats that say about me? LOL whatever!! glad i can laugh about it now

thanks guys