T Nation

Why Can't Spock Get Men?

Per Spocky’s request, a place for her to share and for us to hit on her. Enjoy!

Well, to help out with this, we would need some background information akin to something you would see on a Match.com profile. This includes are least one pic =P

There have been pics of Spock. She’s very, very pretty, with a big beaming smile.

Ultimately, what gets me for women is confidence and sexy. And sexy doesn’t necessarily mean “stripper look.” It’s more a confidence in your sexuality and permeating that into casual flirting.

So if a woman doesn’t have at least one of those, I can easily tell. It can turn a 10 into a 5 and a 5 into an 8, if using a point scale for women.

At first, clothing, hair, body language, posture. That’s what can be seen across the room. And that ties in with the “confidence and sexiness” above. There’s a threshold between “moving like a man” and “moving like a stripper”. Somewhere in the middle, with occasional dips toward the stripper end… that will catch my attention.

Up close, looks matter more, but from the pictures I’ve seen, that’s not an issue. Makeup or not is up to you, but something that enhances your natural beauty will always work better than something that tries to mask flaws. Get some girls at makeup counters to do your makeup for free, even if you don’t buy anything. If you ask, they can probably tell you what your strong points are. Also, good skin and hair care does matter though, as well as just… smelling like a girl, i.e., somewhere between fruity and flowery.

And then after that point, personality and conversational skills matter. But realistically, it would probably be better to be with a guy who can lead a conversation and get you to open up and have some fun. The kind of guy who doesn’t mind the social awkwardness, because by the time he’s talking to you, he’s already into you.

I’d suspect that the clothing and body language are the issue more than anything. This is one of those fake it till you make it things, since wardrobe and body language changes can feel very very weird at first, male or female.

Hope that helps.

[quote]ZJStrope wrote:
Well, to help out with this, we would need some background information akin to something you would see on a Match.com profile. This includes are least one pic =P[/quote]

Oh, whoopsie doodle!! I posted my pic in the other thread before I realized duffman started my own thread for me, LOL.

(Thanks)
UM BACKGROUND I guess…
I’m 27 years old
I have never had a boyfriend
I have been on ONE actual date and he brought his friend so some say it doesn’t count
I get laid once every 18-24 months and I basically have no idea what i’m doing/have no experience
Literally every single guy I’ve had a thing for has turned me down in same way, shape or form
I feel that I lack confidence because of the above ^^^

I like a variety of different guys. I don’t really think I crush on dudes that are out of league.

I got knocked up at 19 by a bouncer who was also the dude who popped my cherry or whatever the fuck kids call it these days.

Obviously big red flag, DING DING DING
Avoid the single mother alert!!
But I dunno, my kid is pretty cool and I am getting to the age where lots of dudes have baggage as well. I don’t see why it has to be such a big issue. Plus dudes don’t know I have a kid before they [don’t] hit on me.

I’m somewhat of a nerd, LOL.

I mean, I play pokemon and masturbate to Loki, so I got all that goin’ for me…
Big fan of dinosaurs, would love to meet a paleontologist someday, sigh…

I dunno what else, I don’t really have any real history, haha.

“I am just looking for a guy with a good sense of humor”

[quote]Spock81 wrote:

[quote]ZJStrope wrote:
Well, to help out with this, we would need some background information akin to something you would see on a Match.com profile. This includes are least one pic =P[/quote]

Oh, whoopsie doodle!! I posted my pic in the other thread before I realized duffman started my own thread for me, LOL.

(Thanks)
UM BACKGROUND I guess…
I’m 27 years old
I have never had a boyfriend
I have been on ONE actual date and he brought his friend so some say it doesn’t count
I get laid once every 18-24 months and I basically have no idea what i’m doing/have no experience
Literally every single guy I’ve had a thing for has turned me down in same way, shape or form
I feel that I lack confidence because of the above ^^^

I like a variety of different guys. I don’t really think I crush on dudes that are out of league.

I got knocked up at 19 by a bouncer who was also the dude who popped my cherry or whatever the fuck kids call it these days.

Obviously big red flag, DING DING DING
Avoid the single mother alert!!
But I dunno, my kid is pretty cool and I am getting to the age where lots of dudes have baggage as well. I don’t see why it has to be such a big issue. Plus dudes don’t know I have a kid before they [don’t] hit on me.

I’m somewhat of a nerd, LOL.

I mean, I play pokemon and masturbate to Loki, so I got all that goin’ for me…
Big fan of dinosaurs, would love to meet a paleontologist someday, sigh…

I dunno what else, I don’t really have any real history, haha.

“I am just looking for a guy with a good sense of humor” [/quote]

I don’t see the kid aspect as a negative. You are a nerd like me who likes to lift weights. What is not to like? And you are rather cute too.

But I would agree with what most are saying, confidence seems to be your biggest issue.

fact, every guy wishes he had a hot+nerdy girlfriend.

non-nerdy gfs are uber annoying, imo.

[quote]Claudan wrote:
fact, every guy wishes he had a hot+nerdy girlfriend.

non-nerdy gfs are uber annoying, imo.[/quote]

Dude, you have no idea! A confident, sexy, nerdy girl. BAM.

[quote]Spock81 wrote:

I’m somewhat of a nerd, LOL.

I mean, I play pokemon and masturbate to Loki, so I got all that goin’ for me…
[/quote]

Go to Comic-Con and lead with that. Problem solved.

Well I am confident at the gym, and I wear nerdy t-shirts/work my ass off. So my nerdyness/confidence should be apparent and still no one talks to me there…

[quote]GrizzlyBerg wrote:

[quote]Spock81 wrote:

I’m somewhat of a nerd, LOL.

I mean, I play pokemon and masturbate to Loki, so I got all that goin’ for me…
[/quote]

Go to Comic-Con and lead with that. Problem solved. [/quote]

OH YES COMIC CON WAS THE SINGLE BEST WEEKEND OF MY LIFE!!!
I sat in a Delorean !!!
I bought sailormoon jewelry !!

EEEHHAHEHEHEH

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Well I am confident at the gym, and I wear nerdy t-shirts/work my ass off. So my nerdyness/confidence should be apparent and still no one talks to me there…[/quote]

Well the gym is a place where, personally, I’ve rarely ever hit on a girl. If I did, it was b/c we happened to be right next to each other and she made it obvious she wanted to talk.

I’m talking more about confidence in social settings.

You may just have to start initiating things :slight_smile: A lot of nerdy guys are afraid to talk to chicks.

OK, I’ve seen the picture of you a Chris Lloyd or whoever that is, so here the advice from a reformed man-whore:

  1. Men are 99% visual for sex. There was a link from someone who had a fake match.com profile with a hot chick whose profile was a complete bitch that proved this point. So work on visuals.

  2. You are pretty, but a bit vanilla looking. As in, you fade into the background for no good reason. There are far less-good-looking women who project sexuality far better because they dress in certain ways. Now, that may just be the picture that day, but you make-up and whatnot does not represent who we know you to be. In brief, you need to tramp it up a little (just a little), in a classy way. Black hair, blond hair, red hair. Just not light brown — for now.

  3. You are petite-looking to me and already thin. This is a very good thing. I would embrace this and get absurdly low body fat. You could diet for 60 days and have the body of a fitness model.

  4. Everyone will hate me for this, but I don’t see any boobs on you in the picture. Now this may be a poor shirt or bra choice, or you may be flat. Well, get a new bra and shirt, or go get fake boobs for $5000 American. A petit girl with your face and big boobs will have men falling over their dicks to have sex with you.

Now, after that, the key is to not turn into a bitch and still seek the guys you purport to want.

Spock to be honest I don’t understand half of what you’re talking about most of the time but I love to read it because you’re so open and honest and it seems like the filter that most of us develop to stop people from seeing what a nerd we are isn’t there with you which is a very attractive quality. Are you the same in real life?

OMG dying my hair black I have always wanted to do that, ha-ha.

But weren’t there threads on T-Nation before about dudes not liking chicks that get all make-uppy and what not?

Oh and no I have no boobs because I diet and workout super hard so it kinda shrunk them a bit.

I am in the process of figure athlete-ing myself though. I HAVE DREAMS !!

[quote]Claudan wrote:
fact, every guy wishes he had a hot+nerdy girlfriend.

non-nerdy gfs are uber annoying, imo.[/quote]

Winning.

Also Bauber is correct. For me a kid isn’t necessarily a code red abort at all. I mean…3 kids and I might be pushing that button as fast as possible, but one is totally not off limits. Everybody makes mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes turn out to be awesome kids that aren’t really mistakes at all, if you take my meaning.

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
OMG dying my hair black I have always wanted to do that, ha-ha.

But weren’t there threads on T-Nation before about dudes not liking chicks that get all make-uppy and what not?

Oh and no I have no boobs because I diet and workout super hard so it kinda shrunk them a bit.

I am in the process of figure athlete-ing myself though. I HAVE DREAMS !![/quote]

Personally, I wouldn’t dye your hair. It’s just an annoying, expensive habit from my personal perspective.

Don’t over do it, but spice yourself up a bit. As previously said, go to the mall and to a Macys or something, have the girls do you up but just make sure you go for the “natural look.” Take a look at your wardrobe and make sure you buy stuff that FITs you (i.e. Form Fitting). The shirt you are wearing in the pic doesn’t appear to fit you well (but it’s also a half pic of you so I could be wrong).

Throw on some jewelry and BAM. lol.

Should we just have a Spock makeover session? I wonder what a bunch of dudes making over a woman would look like lol.

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Well I am confident at the gym, and I wear nerdy t-shirts/work my ass off. So my nerdyness/confidence should be apparent and still no one talks to me there…[/quote]

maybe…just maybe… you are looking so comfortable in your own skin that you make the guys around you nervous/insecure, to the point where approaching you is madness. just throwing realistic scenarios out.

You know it’s like the most scary thing in the world for a guy to approach a girl? Between guys, almost your whole worth/hierarchy relates to how easily/much punani you pull. So failure… is not an option.

HAHAH what an awesome idea.

I never wear form fitting stuff unless I am at the gym. I’d have to buy all new clothes LOL