T Nation

Whole Foods Resignation Letter


If you never worked at a warehouse,grocery store,retail or never even had a job you hated (You lucky cunt) You should probably read this and if you have,this is pretty "close to home" as your ever going to get when it comes to the way he describes Whole Foods inter working and when you compare it to any large,retail corporation that you had the displeasure of working at.


After reading that,Still interested in the sham that is Whole Foods or are you curious about other peoples horrific tales of working at the Faux Walmart of healthy food?



It's Whole Foods. It's a fucking store. Who cares?


Yea I think problems like sex trafficking and famine are a little more important than some lunatics rant about how bad it is to be employed by a company that's supplying healthier options than the norm.

If you don't like your job, go get a new one (unless your a slave, I can't really help you there).


Sounds like a guy who has never had a job before this one.


I only skimmed it 'cause there wasn't really anything amusing about it to me, but I got the vibe that it was some broad with an unfounded sense of entitlement who's never really had a job before who felt shafted and decided to write some self righteous dear John letter to the higher ups as she walked out the door so she could/would get the final word in on her way to her Liz Phair reunion show.


OMG I Luffs Whole Foods!!!

<3 <3 <3


That's right. I said it: Salad Bar For The Mother Fucking Win!


Don't go near salad bars, even mother fucking ones. You might catch teh gayz,


I'm sorry but the whole foods salad bar has candied motherfucking pecans! And tuna.
I'll go the ghey for that salad bar with joy in my heart.


After my sex change operation do you want to go to dinner at the Whole Foods on De Anza Boulevard?


Literally from the ending paragraph of the guy's rant. He probably should have led with that one.

Maybe I'm just jealous. I never had enough tattoos or piercings to work there.


Candied pecans you say? Well lube up my chocolate starfish and dive in boys!!!! Guess I'm as gay as a pink handbag full of dildos!


Oh, you actually think being 20 minutes late matters?

this is pretty much where i stopped reading at the top....


Who they hell has time to write such a letter after getting fired?

Oh yeah, the guy with no job.


Dear rest of the world - it looks like the United States unfounded sense of entitlement is spreading. Please take shelter and shield your children.

That is all.


Wait...we were supposed to identify with the person who wrote the rant?

I think that failed.

My first job was at a Six Flags Houston (AstroWorld) sweeping up trash and dumping trashcans. In fact, that rant just made me wonder what is wrong with some people.

Really? You work at a store and wearing a shirt with a logo on it was a surprise?

Dude, at Astroworld we fucking BORROWED clothes everyday and had to give them back at the end of the day. Try wearing super duper Daisy Duke shorts when you have legs about the same size as the broom your holding.

I got no ass that summer.....and it never once shocked me they made me wear a logo shirt that looked like shit.

Don't want that job?

Stay in school and start your own business.

Case solved.



Gee, yeah, I would sort of like my employees to let me know if they will be late...and being late is still not desired...since we have a business to run and all.

My guess is, this didn't happen only ONCE.


This is perhaps the funniest part of the entire article. I would have caught the belt from pops if I had said shit like this about my high school job. Well, not the belt. That kind of phase was over I suppose, but some kind of punishment.



How is this any different than every tool who wears sports jerseys, concert shirts, or Tapout swag? The difference is YOU got PAID to wear the Whole Foods shirt. Those other tools are walking billboards... and doing it for free.


Yea I hit the salad bar at least once a day. Golden.

The only bad thing is the bigger boxes they offer, because I end up filling one up and hitting the $20+ dollar mark at the check stand.

I'm a picky eater though, so it's perfect.