T Nation

Who Steals a Towel?


So I'm taking a shower after training this morning, all is well.
Go to the towel rack and my towel is gone.
Terrible start to my day.
Who the fuck does this?
I figure it must have been some stupid old man that's too senile to remember where he left his towel. So angry this morning.



99.2% of all people who steal towels are between the ages of 16 and 25.

Why blame the old guy...dude. That's cold.

real cold.


If you went to my gym you'd better understand my sentiment. There's only old guys there from 6:30 am until when I'm done.


Sorry dude I thought it was mine


OK I have a great one for this....OR MAYBE NOT SO GREAT..

I use to work in Arlington, and had a free membership to a nice gym at the mall a sports and health FREE.

Along with the regular staff they would bring in at least once a month a group of Special Needs Adults to teach them work skills. (remember this part)

I break from lunch hit my 5/3/1 for Squats it was a 90% week I hit a new max rep at 90% felt great went shower threw towel over curtain and right about mid suds I see a shadow and the towel is ripped away. I yell what the FU*K HEY!!!!!

I hear someone go "OH NO" AND THEN I HEAR RUNNING. I START running out the shower to fuck some shit up and stand in the locker room cursing mostly out of shock and being wet and cold...then I see a poor guy pushing a garbage can on wheels that they use to put dirty towels in....So whatchagoin to do.

It was one of the special needs guys. looking scared.

Now I'm the ass, naked wet cold and about to beat up the firt guy holding a dry towel...


Where's Celtics?
I need some pointers on embroidering a towel.


I've always wanted to take somebody's towel, completely soak it in cold water and hang it up exactly as it was on the rack. Hang out around the corner and listen for that moment after they step out of the shower and grab the towel. Locker rooms are just a bounty of pranks waiting to happen. Oh, and sorry about the loss, OP. Is it disturbing to think that your former towel ended up drying off some 80 year old balls?


That sucks.
It's at the university campus, they don't do towel service like that, and I don't believe it was special ed day at the gym. But thanks for trying to cheer me up.


That's what a towel is for, when it's yours though, not when it's some stranger's. Who, for all you know, may have some std/other communicable disease.


So did you dry your balls with the hand dryer?


Those hand dryers should feel pretty molested by now.


just get a giant super bright rainbow colored towel with a unicorn on it.

No one would ever mistake it for their own/steal it and if they did you would know right away it was yours. Boom. Problem solved.


After drying your man spheres with one of those the name officially changes over to "ball dryer".


You mofo's laugh but this is a problem in at least to me some very expensive gyms.

I mean really....is this a medical issue that both the shaft and balls must be Heat dryed.



it just feels good man


We watched some woman steal my daughter's beach towel this summer. We didn't know that's what she was doing but realized it after.

Daughter walked around some rocks to play in the water. We saw this big blob of a 400 lb woman walk down and sit down. She got up a few minutes later with a towel (I commented on it that's why we noticed it). My daughter came back without a towel and said she left it "there" (pointing to where the woman was).



Well she was 400 pounds, she probably had to take a shit.

Butt floss, fat people trick.


^^LOL, man that pic made me laugh! but so damn accurate. I think old men get off on looking at each others wet, saggy balls.
OP, what did you end up doing to dry yourself?


Happened to me once.

Came out of the shower and my towel wasn't were I left it.

I look around and there's a guy finishing up using a towel that looks damn like mine.

"Excuse me mate, are you sure that's not my towel?". He looks at me like I'm a monkey retard and says "Fuck, no!".

Looks pretty convincing so I look around again - check in my bag. Double check everywhere again. I look up in time to watch the dude go to put the towel in his bag, only to see a similar towell inside his bag. Gut looks up at me embarassed and hands me both towels and says sorry.

Now I have to decide on the etiquette of drying myself in front of this guy who is now fully dressed and waiting for his towel back before he can leave.

To floss or not to floss....