T Nation

Who regrets their college choice?

I’ve been sick with depression lately. I’m in my fifth year, going to the college of my hometown, and wishing that 5 years ago I had gone somewhere else. I just feel that all of these other students aroudn the U.S are living these gratifying lives, the lives we always thought college students should lead, and I’m stuck in this rut. Going here was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. For those of you who regretted your college choice, did you ever get over it?

I attended a small private arts college about an hour away. I went there because I really believed that I wanted a small college that was close to home.

After putting up with 4 years of left wing idealouges, I graduated and took a job that brought me to 80 other schools. I realized that I really would have preferred a nationally known school with a big athletic program and a more beautiful campus (e.g. Wake Forest, Penn State, Auburn), especially if it would have been a better school than where I went (e.g. Duke - where I could have probably walked I for football I’ve been told, UVA, or Michigan).

What has me confused about your post, however, is why you are upset with where you are. If it is because you aren’t getting good grades, that you should be achieving better than you are, or that you haven’t been as involved as you wanted to, then you need to look squarely at yourself. College is what you make of it, and if you blew it for five years, then there is nothing about a different school that would have changed that. If it is because of money, the fact that you lived at home, or that you have to keep explaining where your school is because it’s too small…well, you’re probably about 2 years too late to fix that.

Since I was in the second category, I just have used my graduate degree time to live another undergrad experience. I am in the front row of every football game and have season tickets to the hockey games. I play IM’s, wear the school colors every Friday, and even have the fight song on my telephone. Sad, yes, but it’s a good time anyway.

When I was in college, it was nothing like those movies like Animal House, Van Wilder, or Revenge of the Nerds. After a few years at my school, I did get pretty pissed off that I didn’t have that college life I thought all other college students had. But I don’t regret it because looking back, I’ve made the greatest friends ever that I still keep in contact with.

You can always transfer to another school. The only thing is it’ll take longer to get your degree. If you don’t want to transfer, the best thing you can do is get your college degree and never look back. Move to New York City (or any big happening place) and have lots of fun. You deserve it!

Consider yourself lucky you can afford to attend college.

“I just feel that all of these other students aroudn the U.S are living these gratifying lives, the lives we always thought college students should lead”

Man, don’t beat yourself over about it. Other students aren’t having any more fun/success/ or lack of hardship than you, i bet. It just seems like they are living these gratifing lives because of the way the media portrays it and the way people come off. Get your degree and key in on the important things in life bro.

WHy are you complaining 5 years down the road? What’s the point? You want sympathy? You’re not getting any from me.

Be pro-active and change your life, and appreciate what you have. A college education and a loving family.


Yes, and the “grass is always greener on the other side of the street,” until you actually go there and see that close up it’s not any greener. Stop comparing yourself to “make believe” people who live in an ideal world, and attend the ideal college. The fact is you have no idea what other students go through.

There is a popular show on television called, “The Apprecntice.” Perhaps some of you have seen it. It stars Donald Trump. Trump is a billionaire, and appears to have it all. However, how do you know what his life is really like? Maybe he is the happiest guy in the world, and I hope he is. But, just maybe when all the people go home and the camera is turned off he is lonely, and miserable. I do know that he has been divorced twice. That probably was not to pleasant. Some end to glorify others accomplishments, and play down their own!

You do however know who you are, and what you might be able to do if you
stop whining! I have never seen anyone who could be thankful about who they are while crying about circumstances. The first thing you need to do is drop the regrets. What is done is done! Be thankful that you will have an education, and the experiences that you had over the past five years.

Next, never and I mean never envy anyone else! Just as I have already stated, you don’t know anyones presonal circumstance so don’t worry about what others are doing! Set some goals for yourself in every important area of your life-Then go out and try to make them each happen, a little at a time!

I want you thinking (and posting) about the next five years! Make them the best five years of your life. They are ahead of you and you can do what you want with them. The last five years are dead and you need to bury them!

5 years later and still in college? Unless you are in an engineering or pharmacy program or really going part time, your own abilities as a student are your main problems. Finish your degree and get into the real world. After a month or so of having a boss, you will look back at your hometown college days as being in paradise.

reignman–sorry to hear about your mental health, but I’m about to rag you. I’m 19 and I’ve already realized that 1)You can’t have everything you want 2)If you expect everything to be perfect you’ll fall on your face 3)life isn’t fair.

I think your depression comes from pessimism. You need to be thankful you had the opportunity to goto college. EVERYONE puts up with shit like you, but we deal with it…it’s part of being a T-Man. I bust my ass 30 hours a week washing dishes while taking 18 hours of class at a major university so I can put gas in my piece of shit vehicle which I’m most grateful for. Sometimes when I’m thinking how much work sucks, I look over to the left of me at the guy who isn’t in school and will probably be doing something like this for the rest of his life. Don’t like your school? BIG DEAL! It’s how you grind when you get out that makes the big bucks. As for all of this “ideal” college life. I have an idea as to what you speak of, as I’m exposed to it daily. Guess what? Those people have problems too. That guy with the H2 and all the hot girls? Probably has a gay dad or something. Everyone is capable of masking insecurities/problems–you just can’t see through it all the time. In conclusion, suck it up, get your degree, and move on with your life.

FrontFaceLock - What you said is bullshit and pisses me off anytime I hear someone say it. EVERYONE can afford to go to college. That’s right EVERYONE!! Yeah, you might have to take out loans and whatnot, but there is no such thing as “not being able to afford to go to college.”

Everytime I heard someone say they were leaving school because of money, I knew it was bullshit. The only people who say this are guys who are failing out of classes and spend too much time drinking or sleeping.

Get a copy of the FAFSA or go to www.fafsa.gov and fill one out. Figure out what scholarships/grants you can get and supplement things with loans after that. If you don’t want to take that much in loans out, then find a cheaper school and go there. Do well and transfer if you want.

NEVER, and I mean NEVER let anyone convince you that you can’t afford college. With all the loan programs that are available today, its simply a lie (and that comes from someone who’s family made less than $25k/year when he started at a private school). That line is just another excuse people use to make themselves feel better.

Okay…rant over.

Hey guys come on lets cut this guy some slack eh, i can understand your problems but like the other guys have said it is just a case of getting your head doen getting along and trying to make the best of it.

Remember YOU are the only one that can make the difference, it’s going to take a little effort and maybe a brave decision or 2 but with some endeavour and determination you can see it through

Well I’ll go against most of the replies here, at least to some degree. I do regret where I am now b/c I was elsewhere my freshman year and forced to transfer due to money…fact is I never would’ve gone there my freshman year if I hadn’t been blatently lied to about my family’s finances when I was doing college applications in high school…but that’s a whole nother issue. Anyway, I’ve worked my butt off since I got here and my grades should be good enough to get me back to a graduate program in NY where I started, and this time I’ll take out whatever loans necessary to stay there. So yes I do regret coming here, but it’s only b/c my freshman year was so good and the school/people fit my personality a whole lot better…so now I’m working academically and part time as well to make sure I’m in the position to go back to NY for graduate school when I finish undergrad a year from now. This way I won’t make the same mistake twice and I’ll enjoy those years.

I’m not sure quite what advice to give you b/c you’re in your 5th year…but in my case I’ll have spent 3 years somewhere I don’t like working my ass off to get back to the place I do like. Do your best to improve your grades if you can and then go elsewhere for your job or graduate school. You will have to put in the extra effort, as I’ve found employers who come to my school are only recruiting for FL and I hate this state and will not under any circumstances work here. So I know if I was going to work right after undergrad I’d need to start phoning employers and going through websites etc to put my application in with people up in the NE.

i think the end result is what really counts.

if you land a good job with sweet money that you enjoy doing, then who cares if the college didn’t have peach cobbler in the cafeteria.

count yourself lucky. most people can’t afford college !


ps. revenage of the nerds, van wilder are movies… life isn’t as exciting as the MOVIES.

Not everyone can afford college. Some people have kids that need to be supported and they really need to work full time. I had to put off college when I graduated from high school because I had to work during the day to pay bills and care for my sick father in the evening.
I don’t think you are aware of some of the circumstances that keep some people from getting an education.
I am jealous that your life allows you to be so blissfully unaware of real adversity.

First, I agree…everyone can afford college, they just might have loans, but they can deal with those later. Secondly, quit you whining…nobody is going to pity you because you don’t have the ideal “college life.” Suck it up, finish your degree, and get on with life. I don’t know what you though college was going to be, but it isn’t a big party, it is hard work…and maybe a party when you can find one. Everything in life is what you make of it, so if you want to be miserable, you will be.

relive your lost college youth by becoming an elderly raver. hit the clubs, do ecstasy with 14 year olds, and dont forget your glowstix.

most of the people i knew who lived the ‘college party life’ either dropped out or are currently taking public speaking for their fifth time.

just chilll… relaxxxxx… ya`mon

Here is a p.o.v. froma 40 year old? It may seem pretty sucky right now, but in reality you enjoy a great deal of freedom and reduced amount of responsibility. Things get tougher when you have a job, house and kids. Something I learned was to find a healthy escape?something to look forward to. For me it is working out / lifting. I get up at 5:00AM to get the gym every day?I bust my butt hard & heavy every day. There have been many times in my life, that if I didn?t have that to look forward to I would have poked my eyes out in frustration. I love the endorphine rush, twitching muscles and relaxed feeling I the rest of the day after a good hard work out. Whatever you do, don?t let yourself feel trapped, find your escape hatch. In my life depression & stagnation were a state of mind that I have had to overcome time & time again.

(fyi my background info: 4.5 years State Univ right after high school as a broke student), 18 years with one big company (worked part time for an MBA from a very good biz school during the 90?s), changed jobs about 18 months ago…love what I do, but don?t especially like having to work for the ?man? everyday).

I thought that my college years were going to be like “Animal House” and my dad thought that I would be sitting in my room studying all the time. It was neither one or the other. The way I look at it is this: There are things in your life that will happen to you over which you have no control. The only thing that you can control is how you react to them. I was not happy with were I went to college. But since I wound up there by flunking out of my previous school, I realized that I had no one to blame but myself. So I sucked it up, got down to business, and finished my degree. I’m ten years out now, and I rarely think about university. Why spend all your time reliving the past or dreaming about the future? To quote Waynes’ World “Dude, live in the now!!”

FrontFace, I have to disagree again. In the past two years, I have met with over 2000 college students from UNC-Asheville to MIT. I covered over half of the US and met with hundreds of college administrators. I think I know what I’m talking about.

You’re right when you say that people have circumstances which bring them back home. But that’s not an issue of being able to afford college. That’s a matter of being able to find the time for college. I had to work in college too (generally 25-35 hrs/week), but I was also involved in a ton of activities, took the maximum number of credits, and had plenty of free time. For most people, it’s about managing it.

There are literally billions of dollars in aid out there that people can get. The government makes more money available than you would ever need to complete a degree at your state’s institution. In my state, for example, even if a undergrad paid for his education entirely on loans, he would still be a few thousand dollars less in debt than I was when I finished my degree. Even if you add on living expenses, you still wouldn’t be that much worse than I was - and that’s if you paid for it ENTIRELY yourself, which basically never happens.

FFL, I’m sorry about your father and all, and I know that those tough situations arise, but that’s an issue of time. For you to come here and say that people can’t afford it is a crock of B.S., plain and simple. Everyone who wants to go can make it work.

I regret that I didn’t get to go to five years of college. If I’d have had some sort of education I could have…hmm. Something anyway.

Don’t feel bad about the school and all. I met an unemployed shoe salesman with a degree from Swarthmore once. Just because you felt like you wasted time in school doesn’t always mean you have to waste time in one of those unfulfilling higher paying white collar jobs. You could always jump back in the ditches with the proletariat.

Sorry I just couldn’t help it. I’ve been slugging it out on some way left-wing boards lately it’s got me in an ironically sarcastic frame of mind.