This log is the only place a keep track of things consistently so I am just going to log how I am feeling.
I seem to over the melting phase of this last episode. Now I am cold. I am having severe leg cramps especially at night I am talking paralyzing, leave you hurting for days later leg seizures. And my left forearm feels like there is a band tighten around it, which makes my left hand wonky. Pretty sure this is some kind of vitamin deficiency. Text my quack, and he said to just drink some pickle juice. Yes, I have drank pickle juice for this before, but my stomach, which is already upset, doesn’t really like pickle juice.
When I am in meltdown mode, I can’t even tolerate eating a cookie without my heart trying to explode. Now I feel shaky and lightheaded, and the only thing that seems to help is tons of carbs and sugar. So I can only assume I have gone from hyper to hypo, and lifting will probably help straighten this out. I just can’t seem to munster up the enegry to get started again. That happens when you can’t sleep but 3-4 hours because you are up with a paralyzed leg. Catch 22 situation here.
Now to the underlying issue. I am pissed because I went to seek help and didn’t get any. Plain and simple.
The muscle wasting may not be a big deal for him, but it is a BIG fucking deal to me! His nonchalant attitude pisses me off! I feel that at the least we should be monitoring the situation. Apparently he feels no need to do so.
All I can do now is wash my hands of it and move on. Problem is … I am not sure where to start again. It’s sooooo damn frustrating. I work my ass off for months and then it all comes crashing down.
And this damn muscle twitching around my shoulder blade is annoying as hell!!!
I probably just need a bottle of whiskey! So I can wash this shit out of my mind and carry on.
The weather is supposed to turn cooler so maybe the damn mosquitoes will go away and I can lift without being eaten! Lol!
I guess I need to start by doing some high volume light stuff to build the muscle back and go from there. Ugh!
It will pass!