T Nation

Where Can I Meet More Mature People?

Taken out of context that sounds terrible haha.

This applies to both of us, we give eachother plenty of space, and have rule about never raising our voices at eachother. In 8 years neither one of us have ever yelled at the other. Not that were argument free, but we choose to keep them calm, is my point.

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I get the feeling that this thread was for the op to opnely complain/vent about this (understandably frustrating) and not to actually gather useful feedback

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True. But we’re all raging narcissists and we ALWAYS make other people’s shit about ourselves … what are you, new?


I don’t think anyone is saying “don’t use the internet,” excepting the OP who asked “where else?” The other suggestions are the “where else”?

Also, it’s pretty easy to focus age groups (and, by default, increase the number of singles). Every house of worship has the “Bible study for young singles” (or some equivalent). I had a buddy who went searching for a “Baptist babe in a tight sweater with a bible cover” and found his wife.

Every “young profession X” group is between 21 and below 40.

In seriousness, the most serious quality people I’ve met in a group, excepting certain combat units, has been the gym at 6:00 am. It’s people with dedication – and a job.

Edit: I would add that a crossfit gym is ideal because of the social aspect.

I think meeting mature people is simply a matter of luck. I don’t think it had anything to do with education, class, or profession. I’ve met mature poor or previously poor people and I’ve met well-to-do people who act like children, literally! Come to think of it, the most immature, lazy, scatter-brained and babyish person I’ve ever dealt with was a former close “friend” worth several million dollars by his thirties (having a rich and powerful parent helped with this though).

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I agree, but you can find the people to date in person at dating sites. You don’t talk with them through IM and then get married, you have a couple of exchanges and then meet in a public place for coffee or lunch or whatever, and from there get to know one another.

I live in an area with low population density and don’t go to bars. Work is not a good place for me to meet people, and when I used a gym I went there early in the morning to work out, not to socialize. I didn’t see a ton of people there when I was going, but when there were men there (and I was single at that time, actually) I was not tuned into their marital status, and probably didn’t really look at them at all. Because…

…I had to go to work.

I’m not sure what the point was, but the OP doesn’t appear to even be reading. Luckily

So it doesn’t matter.

We don’t need the OP to continue the discussion, clearly…

We don’t even know what she meant by “more mature people” and it doesn’t seem like we care!

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Aside from online dating and the workplace, out of all the places I’ve frequented I’ve met the most high quality people in jiu jitsu class and volunteering. Next up would be the upscale bar I bounced at. Then the dive bar I bounced at. Gym comes dead last, but perhaps I’ve lifted with a disproportionate number of weirdos and unbalanced individuals.

People travel and act in herds based on common interests.

One time my family decided to go to the local science center the day after Thanksgiving thinking it would be empty, only to find the 50 thousand other people that thought the same thing.

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Honesty! Insight. Applause, applause.

disclaimer: lots of good, on topic posts in this thread

OMG, it took reading that to remember that I met my first husband at the gym! I sold him a membership.

I shouldn’t have. He was weird and unbalanced. I guess that’s why I stopped making eye contact with people at the gym, lol.

Oh for sure … but there are a lot of (usually interesting) tangents, side bars, etc … to me, it adds to the charm usually and keeps me coming back.

I believe threads pertaining to romance (and jobs and politics) take on a narcissistic flavor is because they allow for people to show their competence, attractiveness, and morality. On other boards on which I only lurk here and there, it seems that every other poster knows everything, pulls or pulled in a minimum of 250k per year, has to fight women off with a stick, retired or will retire in their 40s, has no debt, is more moral and tolerant than your average bigot, and so on.

Ever notice people will divulge near entire life stories but never mention the times they got rejected by women, took a beating by another man, lost a job, were dissed, etc?


I think that’s your bias, though. Why would I post to a thread about earning more with “my income is stagnant”? A lot of people complain about the deceptiveness of Facebook - “Oh, sure, everyone’s lives are PERFECT but mine!” - but I don’t see it that way. Do we expect a woman who drank too much last night and wound up fighting with her husband until 3 am to wake up all bleary and bloodshot and take a selfie to post? No, that would be silly. She posts the photos she’s pleased with; not to shame others or pretend life is perfect, but because that’s the stuff she wants to share. “I loved my vacation, here is a selfie of us on the best day ever!”

In this thread the question was asked “how do I meet people” and the answers are basically “here’s what worked for me.” Should we offer a disclaimer with each positive post that “I suck, you should know that I haven’t earned the right to advise anyone”?

I think most people assume that. Who has not been helpless or degraded? Which of us has not earned disrespect at one time or another? I think most of the people you’re talking about would probably engage just as freely in a thread entitled “Have you ever fucked things right up?” or “Ever been a fool for love?”


It is.

Am I doing something wrong here? I’m open to other suggestions. Tennis racket? Hard foam roller?


I know one that did, on numerous occasions. She was playing a failed strategy of taking herself hostage and wrecking herself with booze and drugs in order to show everybody that “all of that stuff you hear about me is bullshit”.


Literal lulz. :grinning:

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